Take your dominant hand
And put it on your heart
Say to yourself
"You're not alone"
Because you aren't

Think about how many other people
From all around the world
Who did this while reading this very poem
How they came to it
How they came to this website
And wonder what's going on in their world

Here, ruining each day of the year
Changing my life with a wave of his hand
Nobody can, deny that he's not okay

There, manipulating all that he can
Both of us thinking how the other one's crazy
Someone has to be
But he doesn't know what he's doing

I want to be left alone
And he's beside me
I know i'll be choking back tears
But to have him as my father is painful
Knowing that he'll never care
Always believing that he is the victim
Getting hurt all the time
And hoping I'll always be there

I want to be left alone
And he's beside me
I know i'll be choking back tears
But to have him as my father is painful
Knowing that he'll never care
Always getting defensive over every little thing
Except for his mistakes
Hoping I'll stay right there

And it makes me sad to say
I see him there, and everywhere
Here, there and everywhere

Hope sure is a heartbreaker
A beautiful creature, with her eyes of gold and daisies in her hair
Holding your life's happiness in the palm of her hand
Just out of reach
Saying "your almost there!"
Even though she runs away from you as you run to her
(In her graceful run)
And when your getting there
She throws them
In an endless pit
They are swallowed whole

She said she wouldn't do that
She promised she'd give them to you
She said those dreams would come soon
And that shed never betray you
She lied

She left you there
Heartbroken
To sob
And wonder why

How dare I let myself feel sad?

Have you every heard the someone say
"Someone always has it worse"?
They're trying to help you, but it always ends up making me feel terrible
If someone else has it so bad
My problems just seem silly
So how dare I feel sad?

If I'm mad that my dad is crazy
Someone's dad is dead

If school is stressful and I'm freaking out
Some don't get to go because they are working to be able to buy clothes

If I am crying because I can't stop picking my thumb and it hurts
Some people lost their hand in traumatic ways

If I got in to a fight with my mom
Some people would do anything just to see there's again

Someone always has it worse
And that thought is anything but comforting
Now I feel bad for feeling sad

To call someone autistic
Is to call someone stupid

To be unique
Is to be weird

To talk a lot
Is to yap

To not talk at all
Is to be emo
As is to wear anything black

To get good grades
Is to be a teachers pet and nerd

To get bad grades
Is to be "special" and slow

To like to read
Is a crime

To like to write
Is a felony

To hate your teachers
Is to be a trouble maker

To like your teachers
Is too be one's pet

To eat lunch
Is to be big

To not eat lunch
Is to be to be flesh and bone

To have OCD
Is to like to keep things neat

To be bipolar
Is the occasional mood swing

Bad
Means good

And Gay
Means bad

These days
Everything's ****** up
It's 2024
Things should be like this anymore

I lie in the darkness of my bedroom
Silence
Except for my mind
Peace
Except for my heart
I listen to the silence
Let the peace spread
And wish to sleep
Though it may take hours of this

Cry
Cry
Cry
"You have had enough time!"
I tell my tears
Though they keep
f
  a
      l
        l
           I
          n
        g


Scream
Scram
Scream
"Just as long as no one hears you"
I whisper to my voice
Though in my mind
All I can hear is
AHH
AHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Smile
Smile
Smile
"Keep it up, but only at the right times"
I tell my mouth
Though sometimes I catch myself

             o        w     n     i
     r                                     n
F                                              g

There are 8,191,420,825 people as of now
And we are all thinking
We are all breathing
And we are all feeling
As long as we are alive

Some are happy right now
Just got married
Just made a friend

And some at their saddest
For their parents just died
Or they found out their partner lied

Some think about life and death
And some about what they're eating for breakfast

But all of us are thinking
Its insane

The happiest poem
But underneath it
A one full of despair

The happiest person
But next to it
One losing hope

We are so different
Yet the same
We all have names
Names and beliefs
Beliefs and truths
Truths and weaknesses
Weaknesses and strengths

It's crazy to think about it
Honestly

Something I did
When I was younger
While I was feeling good
Was I would send my future self love
For when I needed it most
For when things were just too much
I would tap the back of hand
And it was sent
And to receive it
I just had to tap again
And though there's no way
That a little movement of hand could do so much
But it really felt that way
At least I was there for me
And that was a comfort

Poetry is like when you're listening to music
And you suddenly remember there's a volume button
So you make it louder
Everything just seems better
And more exiting

The simplest thing
Like a leaf falling from a tree
Or a smile
Is now fascinating
And all you can think of that day

The biggest, scariest things
Like trauma, abuse, and loss
Are validated
And take up less space in your mind

You start to think differently
Or more
You start to really think


People are different
People have different problems
After you read their poem
You can start to understand them
Or maybe yourself
It makes you love words
And the way it helps us empathize with eachother
And really see eachother

Poetry is for the things we struggle to say outloud
Our deepest thoughts
What we believe is up with the world now
It's another way of communication
For those of us who have thoughts we can't speak
Or we don't even realize we have

How can a world of
Hugging good books
Walking and listening to music
Dancing in the rain
Collecting shells at the beach and leaves in autumn
Helping someone get through an anxiety attack
Just smiling when there's nothing to say

Also have

Crying yourself to sleep at night
Sitting alone at lunch
Parents who aren't supportive of who their kids are
Parents that mentally insane and not good to be around
Ones that aren't even there
Homelessness
poverty
And war

Shove those feelings
Deep inside you
Dance
Remember to smile
Is it okay to look down?

Fear? Anxiety? Doubt?
Save it for later
Can't let it out now

Just so what she does
She seems to know
Hands up then
Hands low now

Shove it all down
Save it for later
Now it's just bubbling
But I know soon
It will boil over

Tell me about your problems
Not that serious but I listen
Glad to of course
Honerd that you wanted to speak to me

But then you went and ruined it

I wanted to say something about myself and you said
"But it doesn't relate to me "

There are few things in the world
That when you look at
You think
How could I ever have cried?
My favorite
Is when your sitting in your room
Writing
Painting
reading
Or stressing
And you look out the window
And you see the sunset
And everything suddenly
Feels alright

The pick and orange
Working together
Swirling together with all the other shades
The peace that comes when you look at it
Ever so beautiful
And ever so needed
Just
One of those few things in the world
Oh how I love it so

They tell me I'm mature
That they forget I am a young teen when they talk to me
Or look at me
That I think far too much
And far too deeply
For someone just in middle school

And though
I know that they say it with love
But it is sad to me
For I was not born this way
Things had to shape me
And make me grow up quicker than I should have

I had to be the responsible person
Way too often
I had to comfort my father as if he was my child
I had to learn to analyze people
To keep myself safe

I have always wished I was older
So this wouldn't be weird
But I also wished I would be younger
So I could be carefree for once

Self awareness kills me slowly
I fear I have too much

I am a master
Of avoiding arguments
As for the entirety of my existence
Looking at you wrong
Could mean a tantrum
Making a helpful suggestion
Could make you shout at me
And asking you
"What's up?"
Could mean a suffering two day tragedy

It's best to keep my head down
But not for too long
Because that might make them mad too

I want to know what I'm in for

Calling because you want to **** yourself and are in a terrible mood
Or
Calling because you are in a good mood and want to make my day hard?

Did you get me giant toaster that I don't want
Or
Or is there a favor you need?

When is ask you how you are
Will you get mad at me for asking
Or
Will you answer "Good"
Either way
You won't ask back
Because you don't care

All I wish
Is that it won't be a gamble
Anymore

Good or bad
I don't care

Write
Just write
You might make a masterpiece

Smile
Just smile
You don't know what it could do

Walk
Just walk
You don't know what you'll see

Be
Just be
You might just learn to be happy

Not every smile will change a life
Not a every walk will be inspiring
Not every poem will touch a heart
And being is a complicated thing to be

And though these things are simple
I know they may be challenging
But all of them together
Have the potential to make the world
Just a little bit more loving

One of my friends asked me
"Do you think I'm a good person"
My first instinct was to tell her
"Yes, of course!"
But then I remembered
There's no such thing
I explained to her that I believed
In bad actions
Bad intentions
But not bad people
Because who knows who they would have been if raised even slightly differently
And if it's not because of that
And they're simply born that way
It isn't their fault they are like that
Just bad luck

I say that her intentions are usually good
And so because of that
She should feel that way too

I want to distract myself
Not think about the horrors that keep me awake at night
Memories replaying
Over and over again

But the hurt silently shouts to me
"You can't drown me out"

Do you know that feeling(less)
Where you feel all the emotions at once
But yet
Feel none at all

Like you can't cry
But are choking back tears

Like you never want to open your mouth
But you do want to scream

And like you want to curl up and die
But also get out of the house and live?

Walking in the crowded hallways
The teens yelling
Banging
Talking
Shouting
All of these sounds
Coming from all directions
Making me feel small
And claustrophobic
Suddenly my clothes are too tight and too loose
And my hair is itchy on my neck
Overwhelming urge to scream and run away
To be alone in my bedroom
Where its quiet at least
But no
I need to go to my next class
That I'll forget about as soon as the test is finished
Or maybe before
I don't know

My eyes are wide
From every terrible thought that comes to mind

My eyes are filled with tears
From holding them in

My eyes are red
From barely any sleep

And my eyes are tired
Because they have to make it through the day and again

I'm glad it's dark
So no one can see them

Some people let themselves see the world black and white and I understand why
Good, or bad person is easy to say
But a scientific fact is that there are 65,534 shades of gray
Take a moment to think of that if you may

So when I go in the that therapy office and one of the first things I hear is
“You know your dad isn't a **** person, Ay?”
What I want to say is he is one of those shades of gray
Only what I do is a polite smile and nod, waving it away

Some things can't even be measured
No matter the time and effort
So is he even a shade of gray?
To wrack your brain out, in addition to the tiresome day

Some people let themselves see the world black and white, and I understand why
Saves so much energy and confusion
And maybe they were partially right
For the ones who can save themselves, this might be the best way

You arrive at the second-hand store
You try some things on
You have no idea who has worn them before
It could have been a devil
It could have been a saint
But it doesn't matter
You take it anyway

You wear it for some time
Maybe years maybe days
It could be too small now
Or maybe stained
Maybe you throw it out
Or return to its place
At the second-hand store
Where the next person
has no idea who has worn it before
But it doesn't matter
They buy it anyway

I am in a hot air balloon with my whole class
We are eating sandwiches
A ****** is on top of it
Pop!
The ****** bit it
The balloon crashes
No one is hurt except for my best friend
She is dead

We start running from the ******
My friend trips and falls
She is dead

We arrived to a school bus
A nice classmate drives
It crashes
She dies

I now realize
People are dying on the order of who I like most to least
I keep escaping the ******

Killed by a lion
Falls down the stairs
Faints
Etc
Until they are all dead

I am the only one left
The ****** was mad at me
Said it took too long to get me
I die last

I wake up to my alarm screaming at me
I sigh in relief
And wow
That was a weird dream

Every day at lunch
I get the same thing
It's the most edible thing they have

I grab it
And go to pay

I say hi to the lunch lady
And ask her how is her day
She says good
She asks me
I say good
(Even though I’m not really)

I punch in my number
Smile at her
She says I’m “good to go”
I say thank you
And she says you're welcome and
You're a very sweet and kind girl
I said thank you
And left

It saddened me
That I was probably the nicest to her
That they all just made a mess
Yelled
Didn't even look up at her after taking their food
Not even a smile
Or a polite thank you

I respect these people
Maybe more than my teachers honestly
They have really hard jobs
Dealing with kids
And I know they barely make any money

Who ever said
That when they grew up
They wanted to be a lunch lady?
I wonder what went wrong
It hope they're okay
So what if they're like 50 years older than me
I think I'm friends with my lunch lady
I think more people should be

At least I know she smiles at least once a day

The year is almost over
The worst one I ever had

The year is almost finished
And it will never again make me mad

The year will fly away soon
And it will never come back

I hope that when it leaves
It takes my sorrow with it too
And it makes my life get back on track

That moment when the plane is departing
It is zooming out on everything
The huge houses now the size of your thumb
If your close enough you might be able to see the cars
Cars full of people
Family
Friends
Enemies
All going somewhere
All human beings
Every car has at least one person
Every person has its problems
Every person is thinking
Every person has their own life
Their own soul
Beliefs
Qualities
Passions
Fears
And I am zooming out on all of them
I get to see them all so small

I don't really know how luck works
But I go and pick a car
And I wish them health
I wish them love
I wish them peace
And I wish them luck
On the rest of this journey
And when I'm done
Well
I pick another one
Until I can't see anymore
And then I close my eyes
And think about the terrible flight food I’m eating for lunch

Why do we do everything we do?

Why do we smile at strangers?
Why do we tell our friends we care?
Why do we try not to stare?
Why do we like to make people happy?
Why do we love when we something we say that leaves people laughing?
Why do we when playing board games let the little kids win?

But then again

Why do we pick at our skin?
Why do we do everything we can just to look thin?
Why do we cry every night?
Why do we fight?
Why do we want to see the light?

Smile-
form one's features into a pleased, kind, or amused expression, typically with the corners of the mouth turned up and the front teeth exposed.

But it is so much more. Imagine this:

You're waiting in line for lunch at school
you've had a really bad day
Your friends aren't talking to you
You failed a major test
your dad just left

The thoughts in your brain are taking over
You search the room for something to make it better
On the left is someone talking
On the right is someone talking
You look behind you, someone talking
But when you look at this person they do something different
They look at you kindly
And they smile

A smile is pointless if only polite
But this smile was beautiful, mouth open wide
How could she knows that you needed it so much?
Such a small action made your heart touched
But she didn't know
She just did it because she could
So you smile back
Somehow brighter than hers?
And suddenly your sadness has been cured

So you go to your table at lunch after getting the food
Feeling lighter and more than cured
You are happy, somehow
It doesn't last long
But now you can remember the kindness of one

The rest of your classes go by easier
After school you go out with a friend instead of eating food from the freezer
You get an okay night sleep
And this time you don't weep

More days go by, still feeling lighter
You don't even remember the smile
But now you have these habits from the days before
And you like your life more

It's crazy what one smile can do it's so easy but impactful if it's true

Loud music
The bass shaking the ground and my mind
Loads of people dancing around
Shouting "ay, ay, ay!"
Bright lights spinning
Dizziness

The music is too loud
Too many people crowded around
Lights moving too fast
Everything seems like it is closing in on me
And collapsing

Focus harder!
If I could I-
Try harder!
If I could I-
Start talking to people more!
If I could I-
Stop crying!
If I could I-
Stop doing that!
If I could I-
Be more productive!
If I could I-
Stop picking your skin
I really wish I could but-

Why do we do everything we do?

Why do we smile at strangers?
Why do we tell our friends we care?
Why do we try not to stare?
Why do we like to make people happy?
Why do we love when we something we say that leaves people laughing?

Why do we let little kids win?

But then again

Why do we pick at our skin?
Why do we do everything we can just to look thin?
Why do we cry every night?
Why do we fight?
Why do we want to see the light?

I hate the sunset tonight
it shines for the children
for the heroes in all of their might
for the kitten who stares out the window
and for the young lady who cries every night

I hate the sunset tonight because it shines that very same bright for the angry man who does terrible things out of spite
the same bright for ruiners of people's lives
for the person who makes that young lady cry
for the people who believe that some don't deserve rights

I hate it because not everyone deserves to see that light yet it shines just as bright

I can't sleep
Could it just be that I needed to weep?
I've tried that
It should have worked

I can't sleep
Could it be that I needed to eat?
Ill throw up if I do that
That won't work

I can't sleep
Could it just be that my body hates me?
It won't let me sleep
What can I do to let my mind make it work?

I can't sleep
Could it just be that too much is worrying me?
I can't let myself think that
Others have it worse

I can't sleep
Could it be that I need to run?
I miss the moments of day where I can, but don't
I know there's no way that could work now

I can't sleep
The day will take me
Swallow me whole
Please let it be kind

I can't sleep
I can't even ryme
Let the day give me peace of mind
Please let it work so I won't appear to be blind

If we all different
That means we're all the same

If we are dumb
That means
Thinking we are smart and being wrong
Is easy

If we all think outside of the box
We all think inside the box

They say good always beats evil
So when we grow up
We get disappointed again and again

I was planning to
I really wanted to
I wanted her to know
I wanted to be able to tell her
About why I bleed
And about my father
But my mouths betrays me
It refuses to say these things outloud
Why?

Just say it
I tell myself
You describe it so well in your head
Why can't you speak it?
Why did you stay silent?

Now the moment is over
Once again
You said nothing
And still
No one knows

Not even your closest of friends
Why?
You want them to know
You want to lighten the load
They can speak it so well outloud
They trusted me
Why can't I trust them?
I can
But I won't

Tears roll down my cheeks
She's asleep
She doesn't see
And if she would
I wouldn't even be able to tell her why
How sad is that?

Die
Hmm
Am I putting it in this poem just so it will ryme?
Or because that's what I want to do
But no
I don't
I can't
And I won't
I shouldn't let myself think such thoughts

I missed my chance to be open
I missed my chance to Infront of people
For what feels like the first time in a long time
I missed my chance to show them
All the reasons why
Because my mouth can't express
All that I need to express
Like poetry

Is of world out order the
Children raising Parents
Schools making kids like learning less

Is of world out order the
Instead of trying to protect ourselves we hurt ourselves
Instead of protecting each other we **** each other

Is of world out order the
We're going back in time with rights
Safe spaces are scary

Is of world out order the
Kids are making the parent’s money
People starve themselves on purpose

Let's around switch it