No one listened to her
When it was her turn to talk
So I look her in the eyes and say
"I'm listening"
And I wasn't kidding

Look what you're doin',
I'm feeling blue and lonely
Would it be to much to ask of you
What you're doin' to me?

You got me cryin'
And there's no fun in it
Why should it be to much to ask of you
What you're doin' to me?

There are so many people in this world
That feel lonely
And most of the time
We tend to get along
There are so many of us
And yet
Here we are
Alone
Wishing for someone to care
To ask us questions
And wanting to be the one asking

There are so many of us
But we can't seem to find eachother
So here we are
Lonely

I constantly need to check myself
Make sure I'm not turning in to him
I need to be more self aware
Then he'll ever be

I never want to make anyone feel
Anything close to the way he did to me

I am not ambidextrous
I am anti-dextrous
Neither of my hands can do anything good

I am not golden brained
I am blue brained
Neither side can tell what it's going to be with you
Mania?
Depression?
Anger?
Who knew?!?

I am not ambipedal
I am anti-pedal
Neither of my feet can run away in time

I tell myself I can do it
I can be without friends
But I can't
And I might have figured out why

I'm human

The words are bleeding out of me
I just feel so bad
All of these feelings bubbling up and boiling
I want to throw them in their faces
So they can burn
All the people who made the world so bad
I know it's a lot of them
But so be it
I don't care
My million feelings taking over
Why is the world so bad?

A sticky note
Where I'm supposed
to write what I learned today
But the thing is
I learned nothing

Right now
I am lying in bed
It's one AM
And things are haunting me
Making sure that I can't sleep

I know it won't take long
I know he might be okay this time
I know it's supposed to be nice
I know that's what they want me to do

But I know it might be painful for me too

"What's the worst that could happen?"
You have no idea, and trust me, you don't even want to

I know your just asking me
To spend a couple hours with my father
But I really don't want to

Apparently it's "my decision"
But I can't say no to you
I'm used to pleasing you
What can I do?

Whenever I want to keep a straight face
I silently sob in my head
"My dog is dead
My dog is dead
My dog is dead..."

I found my old diary
And some letters I made to my future self years ago in it
I cried
I wish I could hug her
And thank her
I'll be doing this every year

I might see something scary
And not know which way to turn
And tomorrow may rain
So today
I'll just follow the sun

We often ask ourselves
Why we are even crying
And I promise you that the answer is not that we are babys
pathetic
Or stupid
It's that we are human
It's we're made to do
Though it's painful and cruel

Every time you got better
I would make a mistake
I would think it might last
I would think maybe
Maybe this time it would stick
It was only false hope

Time and time again
The "new you"
Never lasted
In an unexpected instant
You switched back
Just when I thought you changed
False hope

I would rather never hope
Than have my heart crushed every time

Today
I just listened
Today
She didn't hear about my insignificant problems
Today
I can't sleep after hearing these things she told me
Today
I want to scream
Today
I feel that the world has no hope
Today
I don't know if I can hug her
Today
I want to fix all her problems
Today
I want to tell her I understand more than she thinks
Today
I feel like crying, just from hearing her woes

Have you ever had a recurring nightmare?

Every time I appear in a forest
And walk through the door
I know I will not be able to come back out from
I don't want to go in
But I'm not in control
It's a dream
So it happens
And I have to face my doom

Nightmares can be so realistic
I believe
They can also be real

Is that what life is?
Just a really
Really
Realistic nightmare?
We'll never know
And that's the problem with such dreams
We can hope only
That our suffering will end soon

I refuse to laugh
Just because that's what they do
I'll just observe leaves

When I go to the airport
I always wear a funny shirt
Because waiting in line is so dull
And I want to make someone smile
Maybe get a laugh
Maybe make a friend
Maybe make a day

Tomorrow
begins the end
Tomorrow
I sit alone again
Tomorrow
I pretend I care what I'm learning about
Tomorrow
I wake up early exhausted
Tomorrow
I spend hours doing busywork
Tomorrow
I have to keep myself together the whole day
Tomorrow
The struggle to keep my tears in continues
Tomorrow
I feel so lonely always
Tomorrow
Begins a whole week of this

The intense urge
To tell you what you've done to me
And how terrible you are
Yet
I just bite my tongue

My feelings are rain
Pouring down
Messing up plans
Gloomy things they are
The raindrops build
Coming together
More and more
Until they start to flood the city of my mind
And then I write
And it's like suddenly
A sewer has appeared

Step one:
Roll up your sleeves so they won't get wet because of you

Step two:
Wash your hands

Walking in the snow
Cold and wet
Lugging your broken suitcase up hill
Can really get you out of your head

Row
Row
Row your boat
Gently
Down the stream
Sadly
Angry
Unsurely
Merely
Life
Is but a dream

Dear thoughts/brain,

I need a break
Please shut up
For me to love us
I need you to go away

Stop flooding my brain
Its overflowing
Soon it will explode
Please
I beg if you
Even just for a day
Take a hike
Or entertain yourself some other way

I know you like to watch me fall apart
Drown in your result
But it's too much today

Respectfully
Lock yourself  up
And throw out the key
For me

With mixed feelings,
You

Why is it
That after every social gathering
My thumbs return home
Bleeding?

Showing people I know my poetry
Is like taking out my insides
My most vulnerable feelings
And giving them a bow and arrow
Just hoping they won't shoot

It's like leaving a prescious item
In the open
Just waiting to be stolen
Or destroyed
It could happen any moment

Ingredients:
2 cups soul
4 tablespoons heart
1 3/4 cups creativity
8 cups whatever flavour you want

Directions:
Mix it all in whatever order you please
Put it on the oven 428510°
After it explodes
Write about how your house burned to the ground

I know I am lucky for it
These experiences people my age don't get
Traveling and performing
Playing my instrument
But they don't really know how it is
At home
Scales and metronomes
Haunting me in my sleep
Playing and practicing for my audition
All while crying
Tears rolling down my cheeks as I crescendo
A little sob escapes
During the half rest

I love music
But It shouldn't be this stressful
It's fun when I play with my band
But not alone with my mom
While she's telling me to play that measure again and again
Until I get it right
But I don't really care about that scale
I want to play for fun

There's a bump there
On my skin
I need to peel it off
It's making mad
I scratch at it
Pinch it
And then rip it off

What have I done?!
I think as blood starts gushing out
I am such pain but I have to keep a straight face

I knew I was doing it
I knew I was picking at it
But then again, I didn't at the same time

I hide my injury
But it hurts terribly
I want to keep it a secret
But it's killing me
I need them to know
So that they can stop me
Because as much as I hate to admit it
I am not in control of me

After it bleeds
It is a scab
And it's taller then the rest of my skin
I need to pick it off
Once again

And when I do
It bleeds again
I am mad once more
At myself
For I did not stop my urge somehow
Like I promised myself I would

And this time
It comes back as a scar
And it taunts me for the rest of my life
A living portrait of my mistake
That gives me a look of judgement
Whenever I dare to glance at it

There are so many things I need to get done
And there is both too much time that I feel I can delay it
And not enough to get it done

There is something about bathroom stalls
That is just so comforting
No one can see me
No one can hear me cry
I can finally breathe
And sit there
Tears rolling down my cheeks
And hands over my ears
Trying to block out all incoming sound
Making patterns in my head with the tiles

Every place has one
Bathroom stalls are my consistent safe space
And I know it sounds stupid
But I don't know what I would do without them

.    
         I                                    
            Love                              
              Stars,                  
                   They
                     Are so
                      Far, but
                       Feel so
                        Near. I love
                        The moon ,        
                         How it's    
                        Always
                        Changing
­                     But I hate
                  How
               I can't
          Sleep
      Ever

People are so strange

I was messaging one person on here
About some struggles that we both face
It was a pleasant, polite conversation
Very normal if you ask me

He asked me questions
And I answered and asks ones back
Normally

The thing that was weird
Was that when I said my age
(Honestly)
And he saw I was a child
He just said
"Bye bye"

That's okay with me
I don't talk to people who don't want to talk to me
I just didn't know children and adults couldn't have conversations
Oh well
Thanks for educating me

I love
The idea
Of thanksgiving
It's a holiday
To be grateful and eat good food
But I hate
How my dinner
Will just be two people
Who ordered takeout
Because the rest of the family
Is dead
Mad
Or thousands of miles away

They "teach" you science at school
But the final goal is to pass the test
So you passively connect things in your head

But you don't enjoy
How it makes you feel so small in such a big world
And how you figure out how things work


They "teach" you English in school
But the final goal is to pass the test
So you have to write the poetry about what they want to hear
(Things you don't believe)

And you don't enjoy
How the words relieve you of stress
Make you connect with characters
And escape yourself


They "teach" you history/social studies in school
But the final goal is to pass the test
So you have to memorize the definitions of words
Without even processing them

And you don't enjoy
All of the things we have done before
And how different and similar we all are


They supposedly teach you in school
But honestly
They just make you hate learning
So even the curious minds
Who want to
Will not feel like it anymore

Fathers
Bizzare creatures they are
For most
They cause pain and suffering
And for the lucky some
They hold your hand in hard times
Sing to you lullabies
Make your mother happy,
Not the reason she cries
They help you with your homework
And they work hard
They can control their anger
Raise their kid
Be responsible
Be kind
Care
Try
Respect that you are adolescents
And most of all
BE YOUR PARENT

Fathers
Bizzare creatures they are
I know that some are good
Which I admit
Gives me jealousy

I want to cry
sob
And scream

But I'll have to wait until morning
To do those things
Because people can hear me now

.

      My                            I’m
   Cat is                         Lucky
  My baby.                   To have
And I will                 Such a good
Always love him a, loving, adorable,
Comforting, and amazing cat. He
  has been there for me ever since
    I remember. I am dreading the
     Day he dies. He was there to
         Comfort me for the death
           Of my two dogs. Love
                  Him endlessly.
                 Yes, he’s crazy

             Yes, he's steals food

           Yes, he scratches his skin

         Yes, he stinks up the house    

    But honestly it doesn't matter to me

None of that matters to me at all because

He realizes I’m crying and comes to make
  Sure I’m okay

    He brings me very  suspicious presents

        He makes me laugh on bad days

                      He is my friend

                               He is my
                               Crazy,
                              Amiable,
                   ­             Cute,
                                Bright,
      ­                          Loyal,
  Cat                         Lively,
  Brave                  Witty,
     And              Charm-
         Caring,       Ing,
                  Loving,

My picked thumbs
Bleeding
In such throbbing pain
But I'm sorry I missed a detail in your funny story
When you wanted to speak
Anyhow
You didn't notice

I could like whatever I wanted to like

My dad got upset as he always did
Usually something unpleasant for me
Until I decided that it was simply funny
And that I got a kick out of it
And though this was not true
It helped a bit


It was raining and I was walking home from school
Soaked and miserable
Until I decided I liked to walk in the rain
And the rest of the walk went by
---no pain!


I had tripped and fell
Bleeding and trying not to cry
Until I decided that people just decided that pain was a bad thing
So I told myself that I enjoyed it
And it helped a bit

In and out
Out and in
Trying to catch my breath
Stop my momentary calm from flying away
But they escape me

I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I'm okay
I tell myself
But I can't breathe
And tears are rolling down my cheeks
I don't feel that way at all

My head will explode soon
Or collapse in on itself
I don't know what to do
And this was all just caused by living
And doing the simple things it requires
Why can't I seem to do them?
I everyone else do it
It shouldn't be this hard

I can't breathe

Help
But don't look at me
Hear me
Or tell me lies
Actually
Just go away

Nose clogged
Like my brain

Throat hurting
Like my heart

Body weak
Like my social skills

Head aching
Kind of like me

We humans
We love to compare and contrast
But
We often forget
We don't all have the same denominator

Thoughtswhat'sarewrongpilingwithover,mystopheadnow

One lonely night
Unable to sleep
Thoughts taking over
Exploding my brain
I wrote a poem for the first time
For me

One lonely night
When I discovered what writing did to me
Didn't sleep a wink
I just wrote and wrote
A sewer to the anxiety flooding me

One lonely night
I wanted to feel less alone

One lonely night
I wanted to read a poem
From the average person
Like me
Just trying to make though it each day

One lonely night
I came across Hello Poetry
And for fun
I submitted a poem
Not knowing
How this website would change me

It's crazy to me
How one day
You can go to a crate
Say "this one"
And you'll have 15 years
Of joy
Just like that

Pure happiness
In a being







Until one day





















They die

I know I am lucky though
To have something so great
That I would grieve for

My head hurts when I move
My brain hurts when I talk
And my heart hurts when I trust you