Drink some water
Eat something
Write a poem
Take a walk
Just sit there and exist for a moment

It’s okay
Nothing really matters anyway

Poor young girl
I dared to cry
Little did I know
my dad would
“Try to make me feel better”

He would pull his shirt over his face
So I wouldn’t see his expressions
The things that make him human
But I would see his stomach
And I would see him chasing me around the house

“No!”
I would shout
I didn’t want the hug
I didn’t want the hug
I didn’t want the hug
He was scary

But I was little
And not so fast
So he would grab me

I was trapped
In my mind
In the house
And in his arms clutched against his bare, hairy chest

And maybe I never truly left there
Trying hard to believe that he was truly trying to help me
Trying to be okay
Trying to stop what he was doing from hurting me constantly
Trying
Trying
Trying

I have since recovered slightly
With meds, poetry, and therapy
but I still feel the squeeze of his hands sometimes
I still his chest hair against my neck
I still feel the fear of a switch
The fear that someone will get angry

I’m still a little trapped
And a little afraid to cry

When they cry
I provide comfort

When they scream
I tell them they have the right

But they don’t notice it in me
For my tears flood my heart
And my screams are silent

I have some hard battles
I just keep them inside and quiet

She is a dog.                   She is my sister
Your half sister.             We share our trauma
She bites.                        She was neglected
She barks.                       It’s not her fault
She’s dangerous.           Her owner is dangerous
I hate her.                        I love her
She pees on my bed.     My dad locks her in my old room
We are so different.        We are so similar
So far apart.                     So very connected

I know it's easier said than done,
But maybe instead of deporting children with brain cancer to Mexico to die
And depriving the depressed and suicidal meds
We just

Don't?

Instead of misgendering Trans people's passports
And denying people health care
We just

Love?

Could we possibly
Not encourage ******
And not cut down millions of trees in forests and parks
But just

Not ****?

I don't know,
Just a dream I guess

Because I feel that days are all the same;
Boring
Dull
And lame

I ask all my teachers a question
"Would you mind telling me as many uses for a paperclip as you can name?"

The numbers ended up being
10, 5, 8, and 2
Uses for a paperclip

And after they were done
They asked why

The average adult can name 15
And the average kindergartener can name 60
Because as you get older
You ask less questions

"Can the paperclip be 100 feet tall and made of chocolate?"
"Can it be made of water and fit perfectly in a glass"
"Can it become president and pass laws?"

But society gets to the souls
The creativity
The curiosity
And discourages it
So that the only answers I were
"To clip paper"
And "as a bookmark"

A car broke down
And some pieces remain on the street;
Broken
And feeling missing

So as I walk,
I pick some up
And decided to make them part of something again
Where they will thrive
And feel full again

They shall not be "broken" anymore
Nor "trash" or "useless"
Simply because I decided so

I have a much better name for them;
"Art"