There's a bump there
On my skin
I need to peel it off
It's making mad
I scratch at it
Pinch it
And then rip it off

What have I done?!
I think as blood starts gushing out
I am such pain but I have to keep a straight face

I knew I was doing it
I knew I was picking at it
But then again, I didn't at the same time

I hide my injury
But it hurts terribly
I want to keep it a secret
But it's killing me
I need them to know
So that they can stop me
Because as much as I hate to admit it
I am not in control of me

After it bleeds
It is a scab
And it's taller then the rest of my skin
I need to pick it off
Once again

And when I do
It bleeds again
I am mad once more
At myself
For I did not stop my urge somehow
Like I promised myself I would

And this time
It comes back as a scar
And it taunts me for the rest of my life
A living portrait of my mistake
That gives me a look of judgement
Whenever I dare to glance at it

Sitting on my cozy chair
With my blanket
And on top it it
My cat

It's the first time
I've ever used the fireplace
Since we moved to this house
It's wonderful
I wish to have a fire every night

If only
My mind would be as calm as the fire
And as bright

I could watch the fire forever
It wraps itself around the wood
And they sing together
A beautiful, crackling song
Just hearing it
Makes you calm

Fire is something people yell in their last minutes
And something that eliminates all feelings wrong

It is hypnotizing
But in a way that you still feel in control
It makes you warm
Inside and out
It's sad that it's also a result of drought

Nevertheless,
I could watch it dance
Forever

They "teach" you science at school
But the final goal is to pass the test
So you passively connect things in your head

But you don't enjoy
How it makes you feel so small in such a big world
And how you figure out how things work


They "teach" you English in school
But the final goal is to pass the test
So you have to write the poetry about what they want to hear
(Things you don't believe)

And you don't enjoy
How the words relieve you of stress
Make you connect with characters
And escape yourself


They "teach" you history/social studies in school
But the final goal is to pass the test
So you have to memorize the definitions of words
Without even processing them

And you don't enjoy
All of the things we have done before
And how different and similar we all are


They supposedly teach you in school
But honestly
They just make you hate learning
So even the curious minds
Who want to
Will not feel like it anymore

You don't deserve to be written about
But I deserve to let the anger go
And that's all I can do as of now
So here we are
And you find yourself in another poem of mine

I will be trying to forgive
Not because deserve to be forgiven
You haven't apologized
But because I need that peace in my heart

Don't worry though
I'll never
Forget
I'll make sure of it
I need to remember
So I don't get this hurt again

I love
The idea
Of thanksgiving
It's a holiday
To be grateful and eat good food
But I hate
How my dinner
Will just be two people
Who ordered takeout
Because the rest of the family
Is dead
Mad
Or thousands of miles away

I'm in the dark
With no light
You actions left a mark
And now im stuck in the endless night

You mocked me
With your torch
I touched the flame
So now my skin is scorched

Youve left me with scars
Beneath the surface
Physical and mental
Geez. Thanks so much for your service.