Eyes.
my eyes.

windows to the soul, they said
bleary and tired
no longer
have I any desire
to reside in myself.

home.
a warm, comforting place.
home is yourself
home is suffocating

stifled by the walls of my own uncertainty
unable to look beyond myself to
discover the sky of possibilities 
the endless void of potential

chained to my own breath.
suffocated by the sound of my own heart beating

what more can you do to me?
I cannot escape myself,
cannot leave home behind. 

I am locked up
trapped 
looking out through steadily blinking eyes
even with the clearest mirror, I would not see myself,
only the shadow of what I now am
behind me, in me, 
a home I cannot escape.

fleet footed I run
a terror around me
home follows, 
a shadow rises up

the dawn is coming
the light will come
where are the stars?
where is the moon that I counted on to guide me?
the whole sky is black
blocked out by my own reflection 
the shadow that rises

into the arms of my own dark reflection,
it embraces me,
suffocates me, 
binds me with my own desires
plays for me a pretty music
The sound of my heart
and shackled by my own consciousness
all I can do is listen

stuck here again
boxed in by my own heightened state of being
a spiral of existence 

home.
my home.

tears touch every part of you
salty sadness spilling over
those red-rimmed eyes
that love to stare

what do they see, dearest,
what do they see?

nothing but a horizonless sky;
the tears he's yet to cry

seagull without a fry

do you wonder
what it's like
to be her?

she knows no darkness;
everything she touches shines,
glimmering silver
like reflected tears

the mountains
bowing gently at the waist
they pay their respects
to the goddess of light
as do we all, indeed,
as do we all

Food is for the hungry
but I'm hallow inside
You cannot feed
those who will not eat,
but I promise you I've tried

A scale is for the heavy
and I'm gluttonous within
I shed the weight
by scraping the plate
into the garbage bin

The hunger pains are sweet,
I'm unsteady on my feet
but the voice is on repeat
as I waste away, waste away

Food is for the weak,
see the havoc it can wreak,
blurry eyes begin to leak
as I waste away, waste away

Pearls to swine! she cried,
Pearls to swine!
I adorn myself with riches given freely
As I roll in the mud for my own inadequacy

She took away my independence,
Her lips as red as the blood I cry
Stealing my spirit through jagged lines
I live to give my life away

More and more I tear at flesh,
She pries me open and has her fill,
More and more she drinks until
I've eaten my own soul away

Sitting on the bathroom floor
Red raindrops falling all around me
I hate to admit that's where you found me,
My own umbrella the thing that drowned me

Tearing myself open
My arm cries when my eyes cannot,
Sorry mom, but I cannot stop
I love you too much
to hurt you instead

Your lines were white,
but mine are red,
my arms cried as
your eyes bled