not like a head freshly shaven / nor a pitcher passed ‘round a full table / not a dieting triumph / a man relieved, or well rested / the dawn as it breaks
but the post food-poisoning pangs / tunnel vision in the heat / my womb when the moon is new / my arms when the body is gone and buried / my boughs when my leaves have fallen / the way that I feel weightless, legs barely kicking / just before I drown.
“lighter,” I say, “just lighter.”

remove thy blackened fingertips;
Mother of Haze I rebuke thee.
groping through the fog,
thy flushed hands outstretched,
bearing thou gums and the whites
of thine eyes. stumble no longer,
I entreat thee to caress thyself;
remember, thou art found.

my clenched, barnacle-encrusted teeth / are bared into the humidity of the sheets where my fever broke / another barrier hiding my hair-width lips pressed white together / that your salt-worn, sun-leather fingertips pry at / hoping to expose spit-slick glistening / and flayed, flexuous pink flesh / and the pearl buried within it
unuttered layers are peeled apart by your callous tongue casting about / that defies the no my slender neck thrashes / the struggle before the shore breaks wave / before the clamshell is wedged to halves / before my lie is exposed / sand

stay awake with me tonight
we're under the same sky, you know
you don't care though
let the moon watch, you say
you've never minded midnight eyes
I hate the feeling though
don't touch me, I cry
the soft light stings
stroking my skin
I grow tired of
midnight lies
so go to sleep then,
I'll travel on my own.
I walk along the edge of the world
but I'll always end up back where I began,
wishing for your warm body to wrap around mine,
alone under the covers where I hide from the moon

clay animated by the mercies of God
the tendrils of life woven finely by grace
led by the staff and punished by the rod
one last mercy we receive: to leave this place

though you are the sun
bright and full of energy
you do not scorch me
with your fiery gaze

instead i stand silently
beneath you in serenity
while you warm my lips up softly
as i face your light and bloom

i breathe you in
i cough you up
your smoke is in my lungs
nicotine
you poison me
i cannot get enough

there is nothing i want more
than for your flames to pull me in
there is nothing i want more
than to dive in for a swim

there is nothing i want more
than to be that for which you yearn
there is nothing i want more
than to see the forest burn

beautiful
like the winter air
beautiful
like an autumn day
beautiful because
you don't care
so beautiful,
want it anyway

fingertips pressing
into the flame
feeding it
my flesh and soul
its my fault
i love the pain
melt me down to
make me whole

beautiful
like a summers past
beautiful
like a bright spring day
beautiful
but we won't last
so beautiful
want you anyway