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Panda May Mar 2022
My bones I implore you to not stay still
I have to venture up this forlorn hill
Though you are stiff
I catch a whiff
Of the saddening future that which I can’t stand
How I will stare at my empty hand
How the warmth of your touch is gone
I feel as vulnerable as a baby fawn
It hurts so much but I still struggle
Trying to put together this puzzle
Trying to understand what is real
Will this dream soon reveal
This illusion genjutsu is fake
Or are my thoughts all a mistake
I can’t believe what plays through my head
Is it true that you are really dead?
In a constant loop of time
My saddest moments play on rewind
The perennial river meets the eye
So I can’t help but constantly cry
Maysun
Panda May Aug 2021
The pounding of the finger bleed
The finger telling what it needs
The wound is dripping pour
The blood that's gushing more and more
How will it feel in my tomb
When i have a bigger wound
When the red water makes an ocean
When the water becomes a thick like potion
When the numb feeling is all around
Laying in the ocean as i drown
Will feelings of sadness evaporate
Or terrible feelings such as hate
Will the red water aspire
To take away my desire
Will the happiness I once feel
Truly be real
Will people care about me
Or the dirt they will see
As im in that red ocean
Drowning in that thick potion
Void of all emotion
Will they be there on that day
In white i lay
Will they see me
Or the doll that i'll be
Panda May Aug 2021
Trust, Believe in me
I can't believe you couldn't see
How strong I am
I fought so hard through all this pain and sufferin
But to you I am weak
Nothing more than a nervous girl
Who is bleak
Can't speak can't talk
shaking on the side
Dreaming she will one day glide
Now I walk
Now I run
Now I am sad but it's still fun
It may hurt but not bad
And I can take it I am glad
That I grew from being weak
And I no longer have to seek
The strength I have
Buts its not there
Cause you can't see it
I guess it floats in the air
Cause I can't be it
You know me so little
I know I am strong
What everyone thinks about me
Is completely wrong
But Trust is a must
With no trust, there is only dust
Panda May Aug 2021
An ornament of the table side
An ornament with no will to glide
An ornament doing nothing more
Than being brought with you
Is such a bore
Being dragged around in gift rap fashion
No one really cares about my passion
They may make conversation with me
But I am an object and nothing to see
Im an object with nowhere to be
And They’re all bored of me
I'm quiet speak less
Think about how I'm blessed
To be an ornament with nothing to say
So people can’t ruin my day
They see me but I'm invisible in a way
I am there but only for display
Should I become a person or should i stay what i am
A pretty ornament that is bland
A visible object that not there in the same
An ornament with only a name
Panda May Mar 2021
A world of nothingness hollow inside
A world where one can no longer glide
Where the heart feels like it will stop pounding
The emptiness that comes with no sounding
A doll that won’t break
It only can shake
In this world of lonely depression
This doll can only control her expression
Others may walk by, but they cannot see
The doll that wants to live peacefully
Everyone here is broke inside
But they do not know they can no longer glide
They inch one step moving some more
But nothing will happen which is such a bore
The doll knows this, as she sits alone
But what exactly can be known?
Except the nothing she feels inside
She doesn’t want help not just due to pride
It hurts so much she feels no pain
All she can feel is the sudden rain
In this world filled with sorrowful disdain
In this world of nothingness, the sky is so red
The doll thinks with her empty head
But remembers nothing for her thoughts have fled
And now the doll lays on her pavement, she calls bed
Panda May Oct 2020
The morbid feeling one feels in the rain
The feeling of both sorrow and disdain
Shall I explain the morbid feeling one feels in the rain
Shall I explain the feeling of both sorrow and disdain
The feet that is frozen so
The feet that with one tap will break apart and go
The hands that shake of one who is mad
This maddening feeling of what you once had
The sky that cries full of pain
Making the blood drip full of disdain
It hurts it hurts as you fall on the ground
The wet ground that makes a splashing sound
Your clothes are wet your new white gown
You hear this sound as you frown
You now have gone through this blunder
But the rain cries as your feelings are cast asunder
And now you remember how you feel
The crying sky starts to reveal
You are one with the sky
What you really really really want to do is cry
It'
Panda May Sep 2020
It's intriguing indeed
how I feel the need
To raise myself higher
While burning on fire
It's interesting so
how I'd love to go
And raise myself higher
While burning on fire
The color is bright
Especially in the night
It colors the soul in different fashion's
Whilst burning with different passions
It hurts so much the fiery the touch
It burn so much whilst burning I clutch
Though through this pain
My being rearranged
And raised itself higher
While burning on fire
To something more wiser  
Listening to my advisor
My teacher through all the pain
The fire that has been flain
And now I really love the fire
That helps me raise myself higher
While burning on fire
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