Watching you laugh and talk with friends,
Ignoring me like we're strangers.
It hurts; it burns; it pulls me into the depths of my mind to rot.
As if I were truly in a prison.
Like the devil himself had shackled me and I am suffocating in the smoke and smog that fills this hell in my head.
My mind has come to be more of a bear trap, gnawing on my leg clear to the bone.
Snapping down, sometimes with so much force, that I break.
As if I could almost hear my composure shattering like a breaking mirror, and all of the shards begin to stab at the seams that keep my brain inside of my soft skull.
Until I fall to my knees in so much pain that I violently bang my head into the walls, trying to numb it.
All the while seemingly unstoppable tears drench the collar of my shirt.
Only making me feel small and helpless, shaking out of pure agony. Just wishing I would black out from pain,
Because it doesn't hurt when you're unconscious.

Please, drag me across the floor of this hell
Right back to earth
Right back into my senses
Violently bring me back to life
Hit me and kick me and scream and curse
Skip all of the sappy emotional tears
And hit me so hard I stop feeling bad when you bring other ***** home with you
Then drag me back into it by promising me I'm the only one, and staying sober for a week
At most.
Make me scream and cry and beg if it makes you feel better
Burn me and cut me and ***** me and bruise me
Pull my hair and throw me on the ground
If you want to
If it makes you feel better
Destroy me and use the pieces to build yourself back up
If you have to
Just tell me you love me

I miss the days that we would just leave
The days where we didn't think about how this could hurt us
Until it did.
It hurt us
It tore us apart from the inside out as if our hearts
had left and the rest of us was caving in.
Into the empty space where our thing that makes us even slightly human used to be.
Our pathetic time together
caused so much more damage than it was worth
And in the end the pits in our chests will become demons
grabbing at any heart close and dumb enough
Always wondering if the other is watching
Pulling our strings like a human puppet and giving us new purpose
An evil purpose
One that will end us
this demon that is making our bodys it's home will push us to the edge
Into insanity
and follow us to our death

I hope you look for me in every crowd you face
And when you think of me your smile instantly fades
Then when she grabs your arm and asks if you're okay
You'll push her off and tell her to go away
I hope this becomes life for you now,
Every. single. day.

I feel the dull thud in my chest
But it means nothing now
I concentrate on my breathing for a few moments
But it as well has lost its purpose
I stare blankly at the red droplets exploding from my skin
And I think to myself "what a meaningless gesture"
I've lost my emotions in times like these
You made sure of that
Your sharp eyes filled with some form of rage
And the things you did
I will relive over and over and over
Until the day that this meaningless heart stops beating
The day I no longer have to live in fear of you
The day that I am dead and gone
And the world does not weep for another meaningless life taken
And the ground does nothing
And the waves do not change
And the people remain clueless
And the sun still shines
And the birds still fly
Only having lost a meaningless life like mine