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dawnie Nov 2023
May
May you live as long as you want
A day, a month or a year
The full duration of this poem
Or till the single sweetest note hits your ears
To the end of your next book
Or the end of your next trip
May you never want as long as you live
And that never change your nature to give
dawnie Nov 2023
My words taken out of context
Could lead one to believe
That I’m the villain in the story
That I am nothing but a thief
I uphold the standard of my morals but
Your microscope is dirtily gray-tinged
I do not endure to give you hope
I am not here to claim that you win
I simply live to experience
The hurt and pain and sorrow
I have no desire to leave this world today
I’ll try again tomorrow
You strew me about
Drugged me
Held me down and spit in my face
You called me a false prophet and
Kept me over an arm's length away
My struggle seems for not
As futile as it may be
I try to conjure myself in your dreams
But you don't seem to hear me
I scream to you from a distance
Behind a forcefield of self-restraint
An aching mind recovering
My generosity and love all but *****
dawnie Aug 2022
I cleaned out my closet
But I was too depressed to get rid of anything so
There’s an elephant skeleton in the room
The hallow eyes follow me around
I meant to return it
But I never got my blankets back so I decided to burn it
But it’s been too hot outside for a bonfire
So I’ll wait until the air smells like the happiest months I knew you
And I’ll destroy it
dawnie Aug 2022
If you need to drunk ramble at 3 am when I have work the next day
If you need a place to crash
If you need someone to tell you you’re doing the right thing
Or that you’re just okay
Or that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to someone
If you need someone to feed you and rub your back
Or play with your hair
Or do your laundry because you’re too depressed
Or motivate you to do things that make you happy
Or to sit in silence with

You’ll have to call someone else
Because I changed my number.
dawnie Feb 2021
You didn't bring me into this world
And you won't be the reason I leave it
My scars can spin a different narrative
But hell’s a place and I’ve seen it
I’ve felt its delicate ringlets around my broken fingers
But you have to believe I didn't feed it
In fact I witnessed the worst parts of Satan's charm
And you have to see that I beat it
Before it could take my sister and brothers away
dawnie Nov 2020
Whatever it was
My body is dismembering itself trying to find it
If it ever existed at all
My personality mere shreds of a mind that once hosted the sporadic and filthy stages of grand plays all delicately directed behind a purposefully sheer curtin begging for tomfooler-esque low lifes to stop by for a show

I've never craved the feeling of decency but the ecstasy of pain and the cold dehumanization I thrived for so dearly seems now more a chaotic choice in paths than an exploitation of the weaknesses around me

I'd be just as happy baking to death in the desserts of an unhappy trip with no sober grip on reality
As I would be living happily ever after in a tastefully decorated house with realities despotic grip on me

But the choice is yours, not mine.
dawnie Feb 2020
At such a point as that which breathing does not define life of an entity
At such a point as that which heart does not define living
At such a point as that which soul is irrelevant
At that such point lies the true purgatory: living
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