Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
dawnie May 25
He scribbled a prophecy into my skin with an ice-cold blade
Marking me to his fellow predators
As easy prey
He believed that it was “a little girls job to please a man, like him”

He decorated me in pretty clothes and jewelry
Walking me around to show off his sparkly new object
One day he asked for something in return
As he’d given so much already without asking
And almost completely overnight the pretty decorations I wore with such esteem
Became the bumps and the bruises
They made me feel secure about my place in his life, and mine
He believed that “it was better for everyone when he got what he wanted, especially me”

He told me I was grown-up for my age
Playing house felt so surreal
Running errands and planning dinners
Having my own nuclear prison to rot away in was so appealing
One with gorgeous photos hung on a wall decorated also with drywall patches
He left me with a permanent reminder
The imperfectly circular shape of a fire poker end
In one of his favorite thumb holds
He believed that “thank you was all I should be screaming, for all the work that he’s put into me”

He used to treat me like I didn’t exist
Like a burden to him in every situation
I was better seen not heard
I absolutely had to be doped up to be interesting to him
I once told someone he was hitting me and he adamantly held the position
That I begged him to do it
The worst part was that I very well may have
He used to get me so drunk I couldn’t see, or feel, right
He believed that “I would never find someone who’d love me like he did, no one could”

He carefully pretended to rescue me
From the trap I had lain out just for myself
He crept his way into the foreground of my life
With a sick plan
And while I had known that his intentions were less than honest
I couldn’t place my finger on anything particularly that I distrusted
His begging was painful to my ears
But he reminded me of all the men before him
In the pathetic way that he told me he desperately needed me,
Like the sun needed the sky
Then acted like he never wanted me to begin with
He believed that I’d never leave him.

He believed that I was the pièce de résistance of his cynical brainwashing trials
When in reality I had been set up for failure
See from the very, very, beginning
I had been chasing that first hit of validation
Missing two stanzas
dawnie Apr 26
I told you that you were a grounding person
And you said you didn’t know what I meant.
So I took some time to write out how I’ve felt about you,
And how I feel about it.

I realized a long time ago that I’d loved you since we’d met.
That I held onto your every word like it might have taught me
something new about the inside of your beautiful head.
I thought you were too funny to be that happy and your perspectives were so raw,
I noticed morals and a gentleness in you it never seemed like anyone else saw.
My eyes give away a lot of my emotions, I’ve never had a very steady poker face.
As I got to know you better,
It seems like they started giving me away.
I feel more now but the feeling has never changed

See it wasn’t “love at first sight”
It was way more intense

Because you felt familiar
And I didn’t understand it then.

But you felt like someone I’d known my whole life
Before I’d ever even touched you.

Now I never, ever, want it to stop.
dawnie Nov 2023
May
May you live as long as you want
A day, a month or a year
The full duration of this poem
Or till the single sweetest note hits your ears
To the end of your next book
Or the end of your next trip
May you never want as long as you live
And that never change your nature to give
dawnie Nov 2023
My words taken out of context
Could lead one to believe
That I’m the villain in the story
That I am nothing but a thief
I uphold the standard of my morals but
Your microscope is dirtily gray-tinged
I do not endure to give you hope
I am not here to claim that you win
I simply live to experience
The hurt and pain and sorrow
I have no desire to leave this world today
I’ll try again tomorrow
You strew me about
Drugged me
Held me down and spit in my face
You called me a false prophet and
Kept me over an arm's length away
My struggle seems for not
As futile as it may be
I try to conjure myself in your dreams
But you don't seem to hear me
I scream to you from a distance
Behind a forcefield of self-restraint
An aching mind recovering
My generosity and love all but *****
dawnie Aug 2022
I cleaned out my closet
But I was too depressed to get rid of anything so
There’s an elephant skeleton in the room
The hallow eyes follow me around
I meant to return it
But I never got my blankets back so I decided to burn it
But it’s been too hot outside for a bonfire
So I’ll wait until the air smells like the happiest months I knew you
And I’ll destroy it
dawnie Aug 2022
If you need to drunk ramble at 3 am when I have work the next day
If you need a place to crash
If you need someone to tell you you’re doing the right thing
Or that you’re just okay
Or that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to someone
If you need someone to feed you and rub your back
Or play with your hair
Or do your laundry because you’re too depressed
Or motivate you to do things that make you happy
Or to sit in silence with

You’ll have to call someone else
Because I changed my number.
dawnie Feb 2021
You didn't bring me into this world
And you won't be the reason I leave it
My scars can spin a different narrative
But hell’s a place and I’ve seen it
I’ve felt its delicate ringlets around my broken fingers
But you have to believe I didn't feed it
In fact I witnessed the worst parts of Satan's charm
And you have to see that I beat it
Before it could take my sister and brothers away
Next page