Quit saying "hi"

Every hour

When I walk in the room

Idiots

I have had to live with these
Obnoxious people
For 17 years

I am tired
Of not making enough

Can't speed up
This program

Stuck in this home

I hate this place

I deleted their phone numbers
From my phone

Won't be calling them again

They do not much care

The therapist she cared
She was fun to talk to

I have one friend now

Rely on yourself
Self-reliance

Some people just don't care
I've learned that much

You go to school your whole life
And still no decent job
Only part time work

No money for your own apartment

I do not like living here

I won't be here for Thanksgiving
Or Christmas either

I dream of holding a woman
On a Saturday night

I dream of watching a movie
I dream of her liking me

These are just dreams

There is only the documentary
Or the movie

There is no woman to hold
No female friend

And that's too bad
Because I am a good guy

Oh well
More hours alone

I was asked how old I was
She said 30 was young
Told me I had plenty of time

I just smiled and told her
That I'm not concerned with age

30 feels the same as 60 to me

People and their concern with age
Who cares?

Just be thankful for today
No one knows how long they

Will live

My body is akward

I never got the chest I wanted
I feel ugly
Like gollum

Never touched
Or hugged
By any woman

Probably not capable
Of loving a woman
When I can't learn
To love this body

I don't see how a woman
Could ever

In a world full of emptiness
Full of times
Nothing leading to nothing

On and on

The ******* operator
She was pretty good
At her job

The slogan of the site
"Is speak to your desire"

I did
Now its over
The desire met

Feelings of boredom
Emptiness

Never thought
That highly
About life on earth

It's a troubled world

There is conflict
Between Palestinians and Jews

Between ISIS and the Kurds

There is conflict

I hope there is no big war
With global powers involved

Hope you pull through Lamar

Looks like this time

You went too far

Your dad was an addict

And so are you

It's terrible what drugs can do


You seemed like a decent guy

But with all your money

You did buy

Apparently alot of crack *******

In a coma now

What a shame


Millions of dollars

People who cared for you

You wasted it all


Like humpty dumpty

You had a great fall


I hope you pull through

Only God can fix you

I am a good guy
I work out
And not bad looking

I want to meet a woman
i want to meet a woman

A woman to be my friend

I hope to meet a woman
Who will be my friend one day

It's 4:25 am

I live in a quiet suburb

In middle class southern California

I only work part time

Because that's all I can find

I have an akward shoulder

That is permanent


If you as me how I am

I'll say "good" or "fine"


Maybe I don't think much

About this life


So I can't go out

And meet any women

Because I'm poor


Hours alone

At the gym

I'm such a bore

I never get a great body

Or anything like that


I'll always be

Just plain old Matt


Same dull expression

Same miserable frown


A painful existence

F* this town


Nowhere to go

Nothing to do


I guess I have problems

How about you?


I'll just repeat the same

Leisure activities  

Over and over again


I enjoy golf

And I play it all alone


I learned that Jesus

Doesn't care one bit

About my akward body

And he won't heal my shoulder

Like he healed people in the Bible


Ugly and alone

Forever alone


Wandering on mountain trails

Stupid, meaningless planet


Nothing to do

Except keep on keeping on


At least I live for the benefit

Of others

At least I try to serve the needs of the people


After a lifetime of working out

I get to have an akward body

I guess that *****


And most people are liars

Like my therapist

Who left


Sometimes I eat too many carbs

Life is a type of death

Who cares


Absurdity of absurdities

The world is cold and empty


Hiking on mountain trails

Banging hiking sticks against rocks

Deficating on the side of the trail


I don't have a nice car

Or a pretty girlfriend


Women ignore me

Because I don't even feel

Comfortable in this akward body


Who cares

Some old friends don't call

Anymore


Who cares


Alone on the driving range

Hitting golf *****


Just like I told the therapist

I would be


The day World War III started

I didn't f* care

Just sat in a tree

Eating a pear


Just wanted normal shoulders

For goodness sake

Is that so much to ask?


Didn't want to be rich

Or famous


I don't think

I was ever suppose to feel anything

Just a bunch of random

And meaningless times


Followed by the end


Life is a type of death


And it's hard to tell
The night time
From the day

I'm losing all my highs and lows
Funny how the feeling goes away

And I won't get married


Life is stupid
Life is dumb
Turns out it isn't
Very much fun

F** American society
And nobody cares

Glued to their wireless devices

I'm alone standing over there

My akward ugly body

This isn't a nice poem

Life is brutal, cruel, lonely


I want to have a female friend

American politics are some kind of joke


Just a bunch of random experiences
No woman to hug or care for
No woman to be my friend
My prayers go unanswered

Good wishes to you I send

I enjoy my job
Even though it's not full time

My stomach is full
It's giving me a sign

To stop eating

The days they keep repeating

All alone
All alone

Americans
Are isolated
And all alone

In other countries
People have more friends

Good wishes to
The poets of this site
I send

I used to have three friends
But now down to one

I used to make an effort
With the other two

Tried to meet up with them

There is nothing I can do

I won't bother to call anymore

There just people I suppose
And I'm not sore

15 years of being friends
Now I suppose our friendship
Will end

Seems they won't bother
And don't care

I'm not angry
So there

Occasionally
I'll get a few likes

Rarely twenty
Or maybe a few more

I daydream
Of ages past
And forgotten lore

Logging my thoughts
On this poetry site

Maybe I'll get a like or two
For this poem

I just might

The northern territories
Start just 7 KM off the coast of Japan

The dispute has now
Passed on through two generations

Stalin ordered the expulsion
Of one of the island's 17,000 residents

The man who grew up there
He wants to return

Japan will not accept
The loss of the islands

I would like
For people
Of both nations
To co-exist there

For there to be
Co-ownership
Of the territories

But that will never happen

Just another territorial dispute
Here on planet earth

Journeyman Pictures
Will take you on a  journey

The DVB journalists
Jailed and tortured

They showed the military
Shooting at protesters

They hid on the balcony and filmed
They got footage
Of the Japanese journalist
Who was shot by the military

Another journalist
Helped make

An award winning
Documentary

About the devistating
Cyclone that hit Cambodia
In 2009

He was captured and jailed
For years

He had promised to write
The girl he met
From his documentary

But could not because
He was jailed

He made his own guitar
While he was
Wrongfully jailed

He is a good man
He just wanted to show
What the people were going through

Now he has been released

An executive from DVB media
Came to talk
With the Burmese officials
In 2009

About having their own
Official office

Some of the journalists
Have spoken out
About how they
Were tortured

Things are improving
Although it is a process

I hope DVB succeeds
And is not pestered
Or persecuted by the government
Any longer

This poem is dedicated
To the journalists
Who went through
Great hardships
To show the injustices
Of their government

Who wanted to document
What the people
Went through
After the cyclone

Insert the times
In front of my brain
Isn't it somewhat bizarre

And isn't it strange?

The days come and they go

The kenmore fan it blows

Empty yourself of desire
The buddha knows

Loud music
Fast jerky movements

This is their "cardio"

Controlled breaths
They are out of breath

This is not
The way of Tao

Imagine if you would
A ***** parade

Men are walking

Some in the sun
Some in the shade

Their shorts are off
And isn't it fun

Women are watching
They stare
As if
They'd like to grab one

I live inside
A computer

From a young age
It was plain to me

No dreams
Or expectations

Just me being me

A plain earth body
And dull face

I occupy space

I don't have any
Opinions
About this place
At all

I am an organism
That eats and sleeps
I stand 6 feet tall

I like to spend time in nature
I suppose it suits me fine

And for your heart health
Have a glass of wine

These idiots
Live in a fantasy world

Where everything is "A Okay"

Not realizing that
Their convenient
American life
May be over one day

No one to hug
Or care for

No woman to hold

Living life alone
Gets quickly very old

Buying canned food
And protein bars

For an emergency

One day
Life will be very hard
This is plain to see

I can hope
I can wish
I can cry
I can pray

But my akward shoulder
Is not going away

Beautiful women
Like the woman
At the car repair shop

Don't ever want to be with me
Okay!

I'm gangly
And akward
Arms swinging

At my side

This stupid
Akward shoulder

I cannot hide

I'm really ******* tired of it too
And there is nothing
In the world
Anyone can do

The therapists gave me exercises
And I did them all okay

Now the shoulders
Are at the same level
But the akwardness
Won't go away

You ask me why it's akward
Well I'll tell you why
You can see

This is not how a man of Tao
Is supposed to be

And the left it just too big
It doesn't match at all

Like humpty dumpy
His shoulder probably got messed up
After he fell off the wall

Another lonely weekend
I was asked how it was

This akward shoulder really hurts me
It does, it does

cries

And I do not need sympathy
Just a hug will do
Where is my loving female friend?
I hope she would want
To hug me too

Listening to a podcast
On the four noble truths
And the eightfold path

My akward body
Is still the same

My akward body
It will not change

I read on the back of some protein bar
"This bar is for the doers"
"For the busy,"
What a bunch of nonsense

I live inside a computer simulation

Non-doing
Non action

You know one day I realized
That no therapist
No amount of praying
Would ever fix my shoulder

Why did this happen to me?
I just want a normal shoulder

Good people like me
Suffering with a disability

Oh well

Same dull face

Yesterday
I lay against the rock
On the public library lawn

I listen to podcasts

My car is being fixed
I will walk akwardly
To the post office
Then to the gym

Just going through motions
Again and again

It's all meaningless
Plain to see

An absurd planet
It seems to be

The urge to eat
The urge to have an ******

Repetitive urges

Chipping golf *****
Relaxing I suppose

Bleh, blah, bleh

Ignored by women
I don't care

Look at that beetle
Walking over there

Human life
Is awfully dumb

Miserable taoist
Says a kind hello

A conversation with
A caring person
Would be fun

But my prayers
Remain unanswered
Guess they are not
That important anyway

Listening to more podcasts
On this day

Some cereal, yogurt
And oranges
I did eat

They really were
A delicious treat

Walking in and out
Of forest trees
Extinguishes all desire
Is how it should be

Beautiful and vain people
Everywhere

My dull earth body
I walk akwardly
Who cares?

From dust I came
To dust I shall return

This is my poem
Now its your turn

A quiet evening
A man watering his lawn
As I walk up my street
Listening to jazz

The noise box
Is blaring
When I come home

Too much television
I'd like to turn it off

I walked up the street
My familiar akward shoulder
My familiar imbalance

I found a a branch
It made a tripod
And supported me
As I walked

It also served
As the horns
Of the cornuto
Or cuckold

As I put it over me
"Look at me, a cuckold"
Haha

The horns of a cuckold
No woman to cuckold me

Perhaps I am cuckolded by
The women I watch
In *** videos

I don't expect
To ever find a female friend

I won't hope or pray
To find her

Sitting alone
Under different oak trees

Who cares
A hug from a kind woman

A conversation with
A loving woman
How many more years
Before it happens?

I don't have any
Money to date

Hello Creator
Way up there
Sometimes
I doubt if you really care

I spent my life
Being kind and loving
To every human being

And you won't grant me
One simple wish

(Companionship with a loving female human being)

Oh well
I'm suppose to love you
No matter what

Just like Job
Who you made go through
Terrible stuff

Sometimes life
Is ***** And sad
My akward shoulder
You could care less about

And that makes me
At times mad

At least I'm not Edgar Allen Poe
He had a real miserable time
Toward the end you know

Have to exercise everyday
Or I'll get fat

My name is Matt

A World that is falling away
A body that is in continual decay

Continually filling myself
With food each day

Not even two bowls
Of popped corn
With brummel and brown
Made the empty feeling go away

I guess it is this environment
That gets me down

Not enough love in my life
That makes me frown

And to have to live
With a mindless human being
The rest of her days
Spent in front of the news
It seems

I like my job
And I want to do it everyday
Also I have bills to pay

But in America
There is not enough work
Anymore

For America there
Are hard times in store

Sometimes eating
Sometimes doing my job
Sometimes sleeping
Sometimes reading
Sometimes exercising

Sometimes walking in nature

I do different things
At different times

I live on the earth
It is an organic computer

End all desire
Live in the present
No past or future

Hello Gollum
Over there

Eating fish
Without a care

I have an ugly body too
With my akward shoulder
I've learned there is nothing
I can do

An imbalanced body
Is a terrible thing
For a man of Tao

Let us eat
Our cooked fish now

Human life is interesting
We just do what we do

First comes one
And then comes two

The times they come
The times they go

All we have is the times
That's human life
Don't you know

And what are your governing principles
That guide you each day?

Be kind and caring
With other people
Is what many religious texts say

Why did we need to get dogs
There is enough noise in life
Without dogs

And they bark everyday

I ignore them

Obnoxious dogs

The constant noise
These people need constant noise
It seems

If I am ever able to get enough money
To leave here
I will never own
A barky dog

I cannot find my glasses
I only have contacts

I will have to get another pair
I search for my glasses
They should be where I always put them

Empty yourself
Of desire

Where have my glasses gone?

He experienced a great loss
His wife
She jumped
Off of a building
May she rest in peace

He tried to help her
Pills and more pills

Why, why did she do it?
He must have asked himself
Driven
Far, far, away

Iceman goes
Goes into the wilderness
Of his native land

The biting cold
The sharp air
The plunge into
Deep waters of despair

He had dug a hole in the ice
And it was under the ice
That he swam
A rope secured him

His retina froze
And for a moment
He said he reached a deeper consciousness

He learned to manufacture
Adrenaline
Hyperventilating
And taking in more air
Than he let out

He has been in the HImalayas
In his shorts

And holds the world record
Of being able to be submerged
in icecold water
For two hours up to his neck

These are his records
But it is not for his records
That we should admire him

But for his desire to help others
Who had their own health problems
He helped them face their own problems

One man had cancer
He talked of how empowering this was
Not that he could be cured
But that he could do something now
To fight

And these people they jumped together
In the snow
In the freezing cold
In their shorts

And the interviewer
He climbed
He climbed with the iceman
Up the mountain
No shirt, just shorts
In the freezing cold

The iceman said it himself
It is love
He wanted to bring love
Through a strong body
And a strong mind
And this love that he showed
To people

Through his method
Empowered them
Strengthened them

I admire you iceman
And though
As a man of Tao
I would never hyperventilate
Or control my breath

I would venture into the cold with you
I would climb with you
Upon those mountains

I would swim with you
In the icy water

It would be good to know you
Good to know you

And as you suffered from loneliness
When your wife passed
I suffer from loneliness too

American life is so isolating

Maybe after we will share some tea together
You were right all along iceman
To show each other love

All we can do
On earth
This difficult place

You go to college
Then more school after that

You turn 30
And there is only part time employment

Wow, isn't this great
I can barely pay my bills

Maybe I'll have a small apartment of my own
One of these decades
Haha

I'm just sayin'
I'm not complaining
Happy to have food
And a roof over my head

My shoulder Jesus will not fix
No matter how much I pray

My stupid shoulder is ugly
It never goes away

It is a terrible thing
For a Taoist
To have a body out of balance

Internal calm but akward body

"God never gives us more than we can handle"
Is what the therapist said that day

Try living with a disability or body imbalance
See if you would feel the same way

What an ignorant cliche

And so I'm *******
In the chatrooms
On my day off

Not feeling much of anything
On this day

At least I have food
And I'll go the the gym later
Like I always do

Life is a strange and stupid
Thing sometimes
Is what I say to you

Non action is required
In an organic computer game
This time, that time, another time
It is really all the same

And DARPA prepares the drones
America one day will fall
It's only a matter of time

Earth spins around the sun
This meaningless rock ball

In America most people
Take everything for granted

The food, the power, the internet

And then one day
The power went out
There was no food in the markets

One day
Life became so hard

I think a hard time will come
The way this country is headed

I'd like to think
There is some secret admirer
Of my poems

A woman who has very much enjoyed
Some of my writings

Perhaps a line or two
Excited her sexually

Well
I can always dream
Lol

Women

They never touch me
Or notice me
Standing over there

I do not think
They even care
That I live or exist

Being ignored by beautiful women
Really is sh**

Maybe one day
A woman will hold me
And let me ****** her breast

Women are ****
They are the best

He took the Lord's name casually
They do it every single day

Not ashamed to do it
In front of all his customers

Oh well
I guess Jesus
Is used to it anyway

Got side swiped
coming off the freeway

Just one of those things
I had a green arrow
She said her light was green too

Life is full of little hiccups
Not much you can do

And I feel akward everyday
And my ******* up shoulder
It is always this way

Would have been nice
Not to be so ugly
To have a woman who cares

Who have nice to have been a woman
To feel a ***** slide in there

But Im just an unattractive guy
And I'll spend my life alone

At least I love Jesus
The one who sits
On the throne

Was just talking with the
Insurance agent on the phone

I got in an accident with
A lifelong teacher
May the Lord be with you Joan

There is a woman
Named Sumina
Who is from Kathmandu

Hope you have a good day
Your poetry is beautiful
And so are you

I am in love with women
Strong and kind women
Compassionate and caring

I want to hold a woman
And have her hold me to
I've always been alone

This is a hard thing to do

People at work
Doing what they do
Some doctors
Some lawyers
Construction workers
Paramedics
Biologists
And pizza delivery guys too

Just tryin' to make it through

They are people at work
Just doing what they do

The Men At Job SItes
Just doin' what they do

Some lawyers, doctors, construction workers
Some study the microbes
In beetle poo

They are good decent working men
Through and through

I am a man at a job site too

The Men At The Job Sites
Do what they do

They are kind and considerate workers
Just trying to do their best
To make it through

No one in my family
Seems to see
We have strayed so far
From what our country was supposed to be

30 years old and dirt poor living at home
Meanwhile DARPA prepares it's drones

The Muslims attacked Israel
And nukes were headed to our shore
I'll say to myself this was the day the world ended

This life was kind of a bore
I tried to do what was right
At least I could say that to myself
As day turned into night

I think the male ****** is boring
And stupid
Don't ask me why

At some point I didn't care
If I didn't make a female friend
I didn't even try

I went to see
The monkey at the zoo
To have a looky-loo

Just a monkey eatin'
And a swinging from the trees
No hopes, dreams, or desires
Just livin' so carefree

And as the nukes dropped
I discovered a spontaneous side of Me
I waved at the monkey

Swingin' from the tree

A part time job
That pays enough
To pay the bills
Maybe a few dollars
Here or there
To save

At least I got the job I wanted

It's another Friday alone

My akward shoulder never leaves
Women ignore me
Oh well
Not like I have any money
To spend anyway

I'll just look at women on Tumblr
Listen to some podcast
Maybe read some

It's the isolated
And lonely life
Of the 30 year old male

A meaningless life
Filled with nothing

"Did I get something to eat"

She asks.

Yes, I can see the food

You are the most ignorant, obnoxious person
I have ever met

People like you
Should be sent to India
To work 13 hours
In a sweatshop
Just to make enough money
To survive

Your luxury car impounded

People like you
Get Alzheimers
Because you never use
Your mind

You are one of the laziest
Most obnoxious people
I have ever met

You don't live
But exist
Like a picture on the wall

And I hate to be harsh
But it's true

You are an incredibly stupid
And lazy individual

I won't be here
For the holidays

I get some enjoyment
Out of my career

And I hit golf *****
Again and again and again

Alone, alone on the driving range

The therapist left

I'm tired of this environment
And not having enough money

And I've learned
Jesus couldn't give one bleep
About my akward shoulder

And it's going to be akward for life
And I've learned I live in a computer
A meaningless pointless computer

And I'll live a moral life
Showing love to others

And I'm tired of this
And look at the dull frown
On my face

It's from all the time alone

Akward ugly body
Akward shoulder
Earth body
Dull

On a hike
I walked off the trail
And hid behind the trees to deficate
So natural

And in the meantime
DARPA prepares
Its many drones

I won't be here for Thanksgiving
Or for Christmas either

Never feeling that comfortable
In my own body
My left shoulder
Takes over

All the physical therapists
And prayers in the world
Won't fix the thing

And you should learn
To do nothing
To do nothing
Inside this stupid computer

That's all it is
Some simulation

Empty yourself
Of all desires
At "work"
Do nothing

The Tao of Heaven
Is work without effort

I was asked if I had

A "nice day"

It's a day

It's not nice or mean

******* idiot

Repeat, repeat, repeat

That's all a sixty something
Career homemaker can do

Just shut the f* up

I have told you before

I don't have nice days

Nice days are for idiots like you

I know you had a nice day

In front of the television

Running errands

Idiot

Stupid idiot

That does not have a life

You can ask this idiot

To stop saying the same thing
Over and over

But she can't remember
She's too stupid
Too stupid to remember

Try a different word
Besides "nice"

Life is not "nice"
You ******* idiot

What is your IQ?
Does it even reach room temperature

Go look at your iphone
Idiot

Check your email on your iphone
You know that phone does much more
Than provide emails

You can listen to podcasts
Learn about things you are interested in

But you won't do that

That's why you are the village idiot

I tore the pictures of myself
From earlier times
I tore them to shreds

I was tired of seeing past times
How incredibly stupid

Pictures of ourselves
Put into frames

I ripped the picture
I do not care about the past

I live with a person
Who never lives in the present

A mindless
Stupid Idiot

Watching the news
Talking to the dogs

What a stupid person
Do something constructive

A life of doing nothing
Of being nothing

I tear the pictures
Of myself

These old memories
I forget
I forget these people

And though my body
May exist in this place
My mind does not

And there is no financial future
For Americans my age

Only part time work
Living in this home

I tore the pictures
Every last one

You can stop knocking
On the door

Announcing what you made
For the **** dinner

I know there is food in the kitchen

I eat when I please

You are a nobody

To me you do not exist

I delete the holidays

I delete these obnoxious people

From my memory

Go watch the news

One who "exists"

And makes dinner.

Go plan tomorrow's dinner

You'll have all day to do it

While you watch the news

F** idiot

It's the repetitiveness of it

Go away

You are not welcome

As far as I am concerned

This room is a different home

Go away, go away

Away, away, away,

Stay away from me

Village idiot.

And I do not like

To be negative about people

But some get on my nerves

They do not change

They do not live

They simply exist

Truly sad.

I walked slowly up the mountain
We had almost reached the peak

I was asked by some sunburned young man,
"How are you doing?"

He seemed concerned
"Fine, I answered."

I smiled and walked on

The man of tao appears dull

Wandering idly up the mountain
I exist in nature

Maybe he was like the other young men
And foreigners his age
They were there to "conquer the mountain"

This is earth
It will be here
Long after you are gone

The Chinese painting
Shows man in nature
He is in the background

I was in no hurry
To get to the top
Maybe this confused the man

He was sunburned
He should have worn sun screen name

He cannot comprehend stillness
Stillness and tranquility
He did not understand dullness
And the wandering man on the mountain

He does not understand non-striving

I did not bother asking
How he was
I did not care

I simply answered, "fine"
And walked on

I wish him well
Please, next time wear sunscreen
You do not understand the Tao