The walls around you have always been sky high
And covered with thorns, making me afraid to try
To break them down, for when I even inch near
The blood on my hands forces me back in fear.
Fear--not of your walls, but what lies within
Or rather, what does not lie within
For should I find the inside cold, empty, bleak
How much more painfully will I bleed!

But I see through the cracks on the walls you built so well
And though I can't quite find the words to tell
You just how much I love what I see
These tiny flashes--dashes--of a soul so sweet
Of a wounded heart that deserves so much love
Of a brilliant mind that thinks so far above
What others may take immense pride in.
For this, the wall won't break my heart--only my skin.

But all I can see are these elusive cracks
So rare and few, I find myself holding back
Wondering if they're there at all
Or if I dreamed them, hope to cushion my fall
For I've fallen for you, this I can't deny.
Fallen hard enough I may be blind enough to lie
To myself, to convince myself to have faith in you.
For faith is belief without any reason to.

Happy birthday, my love, eighteen today
But I still remember, like it was yesterday
The child with the antics and golden laughter
The swaggering confidence only came after
Back then, I looked at you oh so fondly
Your eyes full of the sweetest uncertainty
Your smiles captured just about every heart
Too easily to realize how fragile they are.
No matter how much you grow, how far you go
You'll always be the only love that I know.
And no matter how many times we say goodbye
I'd go through hell to come back by your side.
I know there's nothing you can't rise above
For never was there a boy better loved.

I sweep the room with hopeful eyes, lips aching to form your name
Another year, another summer, yet this feeling is the same
I tried to forget you so many times, but now I can't deny
My head's lost the war to my heart, and I know exactly why.

As panic starts to tinge my hope, you finally come into view
And I can tell by your familiar smile that you see me too.
The tears, the pain, the promises--all gone without a trace.
I want to hold you in my arms and never let go of my embrace.

With an effort, I restrained myself, forcing my feet to walk, not run
But my hands still pulled you close, my control coming undone
I look into your laughing eyes, brush a stray curl from your cheek
For a year I'd searched futilely; now I know this was what I seeked.

A year ago I vowed to let you go, to stop living in my dreams
I thought I'd succeeded, but apparently nothing is as it seems
I've built a world without you, different from what could've been
But I'd give it all up in a second, if you were mine to love again.

Some days I feel like my heart can't quite stay in my chest
So full it chokes me
Some days I don't mind that I can't get you out of my head
Time passing so sweetly
But I never know how long this will last
Can't help but wait for the eventual crash.

You just might be what I didn't even know I need
The only one who gets me
And I want to give you the world on a silver plate
If there only was some way
I could know such a thing could be safe.  

As much as I try, my feelings are impossible to hide
But I swear, you turn a blind eye
Leaving me waiting and wondering and hoping so long
Unable to move on
Always thinking I'm reading you wrong.

Some days I almost wish I could make your heart bleed
To make sure you have one
Some days I feel you're so far away out of my reach
Chasing the shadow of someone
So I put up walls, wear armor around you
Hoping if you break my heart, its pieces cut yours too.

Met you with a broken heart
So desperate for a light, after so long in the dark
So who cares what you really are?
As long as you gave me a new start.

Thought I'd finally found the one.
Survived the storm to see the sun.
So I tried to break your walls
Learned to love all your flaws
But now, I'm just sick of it all.

Sick of wondering why you won't reply
Sick of waiting for a sign you'll never give me
Sick of being the only one who wants to try
Sick of seeing you as someone you'll never be.

I want to be the one you finally let in
But everytime I try, you disappoint me again.
If only you'd let me, I could give you everythin'
But I'm not the stupid girl from back then.

Maybe one day I'll find someone who cares
Won't leave me always worrying and scared
Won't mock me for my unrealistic dreams
Won't be so afraid to show a little feeling
Instead of dreams of love--he'll give me the real thing.

From the beginning, you were never the same
My world was falling apart, and along you came
I'd tried to reach the stars, only to grasp thin air
Refusing to accept what was simply not there.
Slowly, you put the ground back under my feet.
After falling for so long--the return to earth was sweet.

You're far from the dreams I'd chased for so long
Thought I'd grown up, stopped living for what's gone.
Thought, for once, I could love safely
Embracing rather than running from reality.
This time, I'd set out to not lose my head.
But turns out, I'm losing all of myself instead.

No sweet words or touches, no pretty little lies
Can't read anything behind those cool, dark eyes
As much as I tell myself what we have could be real
Sometimes I wonder if you even know how to feel.
While you live in my head, unlock all my doors
I doubt I even have a place in yours.

I try to put up some walls, guard my heart
Steel myself for the day this all falls apart.
Turn my back from you with a few mind games.
But when I lose, I'll have only myself to blame.
For believing you were what I deserved to find.
For letting foolish dreams again turn me blind.

Thought I'd finally left our past behind
Lost the dreams that made me lose my mind.
Clean from the drug that took over my life.
Came to terms with a final goodbye.

The world you gifted me was never real
Even if it gave me the greatest joy I'd ever feel.
I came down to earth in the hardest lesson of all
But I survived the landing after suffering the fall.

Time was the medicine that helped me move on
Losing you shattered me but made me strong.
When my heart began beating for another friend
I thought, finally, our story has reached its end.

But then you appear in my life out of the blue.
Making me smile in the way only you can do.
Taking me back to my happiest days.
But this time I know these dreams can't stay.

Before you left again, you said "I love you."
Though I don't know whether or not that's true.
When I said it back, my cheeks flamed with blood.
Wonder if I'd ever stopped--if I ever could.