The morning light shines through my window,
kissing the photo of you on my wall.
I see the frame bright and shimmering, as the tears begin to fall.
I ache to hear your musical voice, the echoes of your soul.
My heart spasms, my breath disappears into the morning mist
I close my eyes and let the pain seize my body, praying, this time, it'll be quick.
A warm rush of calmness ripples across my soul
Your being whispers to my higher self, let go, let go, let go.
Yet, I cannot.

I am broken.
That’s all.
That’s all.

That last time
Was the last time
But I did not know.
I am broken
That’s all
That’s all

I said goodnight and left you
I did not understand
I did not understand
That’s all
That’s all

My soul incarnated to the sound of your heartbeat.
Your incredible soul left us to the same ancient, rhythmic beat.
My soul has loved you for longer than it has existed.
I’ll miss you and long for you beyond the existence of time.

One moment
One breath
One beat
One blink
One word
This new world invaded my soul and made a home.
Uninvited

I carry with me a Well
Not of bricks and mortar
But a deep emotional dwelling
That fills to the brim
And overflows
Sometimes with joy
Sometimes with laughter
And sometimes with pride
And out of nowhere, tears.
Such deep sorrow that I cannot contemplate
climbing out.

I look at you and see your smile...
Its almost as if you know that one day
I will need to remember it.

Each step taken is one mountain climbed
Be still the clouds so I may breathe.
The Sun beats down but burns me not
For life, so far, I have achieved.
‘Tis not for graduation, position or more
That I look, seek, work or learn
But only for me, the blowing leaf
Not waiting to take a turn.
Inside the fear is great
But greater still the fierceness grows
For a-top the mountain I shall stand
In glorious rays of my own.


Samantha August 2019

You love me
You hold me
You admire me
You respect me
You adore me

You hate me
You push me
You scold me
You belittle me
You neglect me

You are me and I am You.
Self-hate is easier than self-love
only because it's familiar.

THANK YOU

Thank You for opening my eyes
My heart, my mind, my soul
Thank You for taking me out
To walk, to run, to hide

Thank You for waking me up
For turning on the light
Thank You for stirring passion
For putting coffee in my cup

Thank You for brushing my hair
For plaiting it, and making it shine
Thank You for the nice smelling creams
And the clothes you told me to wear

Thank You for telling me stories
And singing to me late at night
Thank You for calming my thoughts
From the night into the morning

Thank You for loving me sweetly
For letting me be who I am
For not running away when I get too much
Thank You, from my heart, completely.

I sit and wait for the idea to come
To feel the thought take shape.
And, though I know it will become
so much more I cannot wait.

The anticipation grows from deep within
A smile begins to form
and there, with hurried ink and pen
Magic appears and my story is born.

I'd say 'Hello', but you won't hear me
I'd hold your hand, but you're not near
I'd put my arms around you, but they would hold nothing.

You're not here.

You said you were going 'Home'
You asked for time to rest.
Then you flew away, sweet Janie

Its been 15 years. Where are you?

Soft my heart feels gladly
Hard my mind feels madly
Torn my inner soul sadly
Ache is repairing badly

No words sweet flower
Your smile is forever
Your welcome to true
Your scent so pure

I welcome those magical moments..
The ones that tap on my closed eyelids, just as I am waking

In those so few moments of blissful ignorance
anything is possible..

I can be Anyone
I can feel Nothing
Nothing has Happened
Nothing has Started
Anything is Possible

No-one has lied to me
No-one has ignored me
No-one has hurt me

In those precious moments
I smile a Million smiles
A Million Times
For a Million Years

Be still my racing heart, be still
Racing waters crash the rocks.
Above the Eagle scans the edge
My heart beats, tick tock.

Be still my racing heart, be still.
I cannot count so fast
The pace too fast, the beat to loud
Each breath feels like my last.

Be still my racing heart, be still
Please quiet and still my mind
Images that race through life
Are of a different kind

Be still my racing heart, be still
There is so much still to do
Still to see, to share, to be,
You are me and I am You

Be Still my racing heart, be still
Illusion wins the day
I carry you, you beat for me
Until the time my head I lay

Be still my racing heart, be still
The music plays for us
Be soft, be kind, be open
We can learn to trust

Be still. Don’t race. My precious Heart.
The drums beat for us all
The time will come when we are one
And the Kite will fly once more.
Samantha Guillaume Nov2019

Darkness crawls the bedside near
Though I fall it's not from fear
''Tis the wakening of the clouded one
My minds is open then it's gone
I close the doors the windows too
There's no point, the battles not true
Is myths are dark and heavily of toil
I believe them, hear them, walk their soil
They call me, enticing me - freedom is here
Let us take your mind, we care!
Trust us, come, you know we're right
Give up, give in, you cannot fight!
The busyness quells
The clouds they slow
Oh ****, where now can I go?
Slam shut my eyes
Hold my breath
Call it near
My unknown death