I was determined to succeed, but didn’t really have the faith
I doubted myself,
Because of the consequences faced
Tears run down to my soon to be wrinkled cheek
What am I??
A lady with no hope for the future, and with a purpose unknown but expectations.
Others wake up to their work places
I trot around, In my old ragged and tattered clothes
Young children mock me
I don't have the strength to fight back
With no food in my 4 but 2-legged table
I sit down and expect food.
I’m living a life, that no one wants to live
The kind of life I have, has short lived happy memories
A chain of sad memories, A thought lingers in my mind
As I think of the good times, I had with my father
I was once happy, but he left before it could all stick
I then lived a life with tears as my daily bread
Accompanied by bruises as my tea
The woman I called mother changed or maybe she was blinded
She couldn’t see the difference between her daughter and just a figure
All that pain was slowly killing me
It felt like I was being suffocated and drowned at the same time
I only wished that I could die, without feeling anymore of it.
Living a life where you are reminded of how good it once was
A life where the only time you say something
Is when you are sobbing in your little bed
I used to wonder what my crime was
I never chose to be a girlchild
But I was suffering for fate’s course
I ran and never looked back, I forgot about that place
At least I thought I did, but I didn’t, I couldn’t
And look at me now
I’m stuck in a world that surely doesn’t want me
I’m living because I’m a coward
I cannot take my own life, but I think about it a lot
My heart is really hurt, my body and soul too
It feels like it was once constructed,
Then bisected
I’m devasted and hungry
Dejected and angry
But I don’t know who I’m angry at?
Do I still blame my father for dying?
My mother for forgetting that I was hers?
Or at myself, for letting it all get to me.