I see our poems trending
The ones we wrote about us
Secrets to never be spoken of again
Even between us

It hurts
To know that people supported us
To know people liked us
Because they knew us
The way we knew us

So in the end
Anyone could see the love
It’s just those that feared it
I don’t know why they fear me
I’m no Heisenberg
Couldn’t hurt a fly
Drink a sip of alcohol
Hell I couldn’t even beg you to stay

Currently
We’re in uncharted territory
With things ending last April
And this past April
Summer was never us
But now we get to fix that

No more crying at night with no one there-
No one to understand
No more seeing you in every room-
Just to remember I won’t see you till band camp

It might be the start to a new era
But there’s something more
Maybe it’s the path to a new normal

Something feels missing
Right now - it’s you
And in a few hours
Probably all my energy
Then in the morning
I’ll lose the calm of rest

I wish I could stay asleep
My mouth doesn’t hurt when I do
My brain imagines a world without surgery
And my heart puts you in every moment
It’s a nice touch
Just makes me go crazy waking up
Feels like that world is missing

I miss messages!
All the goofy things we’d send
I miss snap
The poetry, the drawings, the funny filters
Now it’s just insta
I don’t even use insta
But you’re worth it
So I use it for you

Yknow what’s missing
The ideal world
I don’t think everyone’s is the same
But I think ours is
And two is much better than one
So I can promise one thing
Whatever’s missing
I’m gonna make sure it isn’t missing forever

My body aches,
In sync with my heart.
Was it forgetting my inhaler,
Or remembering things I hadn’t thought in a week?
Who knows.
I should.

I just know that in all the noise—
the bell ringing,
the half-laughed conversations,
the tired shuffle from one room to another—
I feel alive.

Not the fake kind.
Not the forced smile,
or the “I’m fine” kind of alive.

But the real thing.
Like I’m inside my life again,
not just watching it happen from somewhere far off.

Even the ache feels honest.
Even the thoughts I don’t want,
they pass without clawing.
I let them go.

And somehow,
in the blur of movement,
I find stillness.

I’m enjoying it.
Every second.
Not needing it to be more,
not asking it to stay.

Just… being here,
without weight.

My heart threw a tantrum
Wailing through anxiety for days
Until it got tired
Until it missed the love

I used to long for the warmth
Now it seems I can’t escape from it
And it’s not that I want to
It wasn’t used to switching back for a moment

But I think it’s cooled down
I’ll manage the rest on my own
It’s my turn to deal with pain
Simple as that

“Her eyes are gorgeous”
A real thought flashed in an instant,
As she looked at me,
Seeming eager to be partners.

I wonder,
“Does the hot sophomore want anything to do with me?”
But it’s not like I have a choice.

“Seannn” she says,
Like it’s a secret password to my heart,
And it worked.
I was open from then on.

And here we stand,
Back to back,
Me slowly pressing my back into yours,
Wondering if you notice.
And you step on my foot time to time,
Making me overthink,
“Is this really happening”
“Am I being stupid”
“What do I say”

And so I do the only thing I know how to.
I laugh.
And it makes you laugh.
And your laugh,
Sent me into spirals,
Resulting in lots of down the field stairs,
And who would’ve thought,
Love poems.

Lizie
I am here
Just because we can’t be anything-
doesn’t take away me

Please
Please be careful
“Be safe”
I couldn’t live with myself if it gets worse

So wash, hide, wrap
Or even ask for help if you can’t anymore
It’s going to be okay

I’ll be a silent voice
Somebody you know is there-
Even just in poems

I need you-
I need you to take care of yourself
It will get better
It’s been three days

I’m scarred
From head to toe
But not with circles or lines
No, my mind wouldn’t let me do that
No matter how hard I try
Blade against the skin-
My body trembles
I keep trying to do something
But all of me says no
Let the pain linger on its own

It doesn’t mean I don’t wish I could
My methods don’t really help
What does a fist covered in blood do-
Knuckles begging for a wall to cool off in
I don’t even have anger
I just like the way it stings and burns
And how I can look at myself and see pain
Not just feel it

I miss you-
But you just went to sleep

I miss you-
But you were here 4 minutes ago

I miss you-
But we were just day dreaming the future

I miss you-
But I feel your words like a delicate touch

I miss you-
But I know I still love you

I miss you-
But I can’t wait for tomorrow, for you

I miss you,
But you’ll wake up to this message

I miss you,
But even so,
When the sun rises,
While kids dread their final exams,
We’ll be here,
Soaking in our own rays of sun,
Like a hot tub of love,
For just the two of us to bathe in,
Washing us clean of our time apart

I miss you now,
I’ll miss you tomorrow night,
But I won’t miss you forever-
How could I,
Soon enough we’ll be together everywhere,
Unable to be split apart,
Unwilling to leave

I tell you it a lot, I know
But I love you so much
Girl it’s like an instinct
Your words leave me vulnerable
But it isn’t bad
And only for you-
Only for you would this be okay
Because I know deep in my heart-
Love is ours

I get that
Hold back on the cutting
For me
It’s all I can ask of you

And if you really believe that
There’s really one answer
Because I’m not letting you die
I may not be able to do anything
But I’m not leaving if you’re stuck here too
**** the haters
If there’s a will there’s a way

He was mid-sentence when a sharp pain cut through his body. His eyes dropped in confusion. A knife was sticking out of his stomach, the blade stained red. For a second, he didn’t understand. His mind tried to catch up, but the pain was too sudden, too real.

“W-what…?” he whispered.

Then the knife twisted.

A cry escaped him as the pain surged. It knocked the air from his lungs, made his knees weak. Breathing hurt. Thinking hurt. And then, just as fast, the knife was pulled out. The pain didn’t stop — it got worse.

He pressed a hand against the wound, trying to hold himself together. When he pulled it away, his palm was soaked in blood.

“Blood…” he said quietly, as if saying it would make it make sense. His head started to spin.

He turned, forcing his eyes to focus. That’s when he saw her. The person who had stabbed him.

Someone he knew. Someone he trusted.

His body gave out and he collapsed. The ground hit harder than he expected, sending a shock through him. Lying there, he struggled to keep his eyes open.

She was human, just like him. That was what stuck with him. Not the pain, not the blood — the fact that she chose to do this.

And he couldn’t figure out why.

He knew he wouldn’t make it. There was no one to help, no one to stop the bleeding. He was alone.

There was no anger in him. Just confusion, sadness… and a kind of quiet fear. Not knowing what he meant to her anymore. Not knowing why this had to happen.

He looked up at her one last time. His voice barely came out, but she heard him.

“Did you just twist me out of your life?”

I asked AI
The trolley problem
It chose changing tracks
That got me thinking

If an AI system
Built to be fully ethical
Would choose several lives over one
Knowing it’s choosing death
Does that mean decisions don’t have to benefit everyone else?

My whole life
I put myself down for others
In every decision
I handed over solos
Let people go
It wasn’t for me
It was for everyone else

Now I’m thinking
What my life can be if I change that
Maybe the way to do so isn’t resurfacing the past
And breaking every ethical law in existence
Maybe it’s to build a new future

So I’m switching out my friends
For ones who actually care and understand
Who support everything I do

I’m putting effort into fixing my family
It never really was that bad to fix
It felt impossible because I had so many problems

What even are problems
I think they’re useless
No life lesson has problems
Sure there are limitations, and motivators
Not making an audition just means working harder though
There’s always next time

I spent so much time
Worrying about me
While I worked for others
Deciding against my own health


I’ll never be okay
Never alright or bien
But I can be me
I can lose useless problems
I can learn what healthy supporting is

Sunlight changes people
Some get burnt all over
Others tan until they look like another person
But I think she’s got it best
Every detail I love about her-
It shines

Her blue eyes reflect the world in front of her
Her skin appears closer, and smooth
Her hair becomes golden like sunlight
And her words travel across the heat
Making every muscle in my body quiver

I might have golden hair and eyes
But you’re the true gold, girl
I don’t think I’d be gold at all-
Not without my lovely ray of sunshine

I have a lot of time
We have a lot of time
Maybe not the way I desire
But I’d rather be here
And help you
Having you here to support me
While nobody else does

I’d rather this
Than the pain of being without
Because alone is one thing-
Without you is torture
Why split up two people-
So right for one another

So I sit
Stationary
Here for anything
Here for nothing
Whatever you want
I’m ready to give

I don’t care what people think
What they would think
What can happen
I just don’t want us to be split up
Or to be hurt by being split again

Ocean deep
Brightening smiles with every blink
Shining gold in a pitch black room
The sun yearns to be as bright as you

Someday
When the stars align
They’ll make you too hot to resist
Accenting your every feature
That’s when you’ll see
The you I fell for

Just remember the good
If anything
Because I didn’t lie
You’re worth a thousand doses of pain
A million poems
A billion words

So it won’t be me
That *****

It won’t be you
That’s heartbreaking

Doesn’t mean anything
When you know you’re golden
Shining over the rest of us

Something like a cursed title
Everyone who takes that label in my life-
Either hates me or left me

Well-
Except for one
But she’s not my bestie really
She’s my lover
Does it still count?

I think your pinkies will ******* fall off

Marching today was
An experience
Pretending life was different
Ignoring the signs
Just living like I’m alive

I got burned a bit on my right side
Funny though
The sun wasn’t there-
Well unless
Unless I got burned by the steaming hot girl marching next to me
Probably

I need sunglasses to look directly at her
(Yet I still stare)
Couldn’t touch her directly
(But I still did)
Shouldn’t talk to her
(It was impossible to try to stop)
Told not to love her



I think that’s my decision
And it’s pretty clear
If I wanted to I would’ve
Even if I’m trapped

Nobody could get me
How it’s worth it to plant my feet
But really I just follow my heart
It’s a very clear path

I’m going to **** myself
I don’t know when
I don’t know how
I don’t know why

Some random day
In a soon to be known season
I’m going to be so alone
Like I am right now
And I’ll have had enough

No more endless supporting-
Without any support
No more backlash drama-
While I try to live day by day

Nobody gets it
How hard it is
And I’m just done
I can’t handle the anger
I’m not even allowed to be angry
What a **** double standard

I think I’ve always wanted security
My anxiety eats at anything uncertain
So I ask a million questions
Hoping the answers calm me

But I don’t think the chaos is avoidable
Maybe my nights of crying are deserved
It’s for the lore
Intended to make me who I will be

I’m so broken
Don’t even kid yourself
I can take a hello and make it like a goodbye
Everything in my head is wrong

I’ve always wondered why many others live
Why they don’t slowly die- like me
But I think I realize now
It’s how I was built

I’m a bundle of scraps
Fused falsely to form a half being
My parts strong in the worst ways
I can never escape the torment of uncertainty

I wish I could just hurt myself
Save me the pain I build in my whole body
The thoughts that won’t quit
Why do I make little things everything

I have cool traits
So see me as great
But they’re all baits
To lure me to a good fate

Too good to be true
That’s your theme
The theme I didn’t accept
The theme I should’ve stayed with
But instead
You reeled me back in
Let me believe that wasn’t to last
Just to tell me
We were too good to be true

I can’t stop writing
I don’t care about getting a zero in this ****** class
I couldn’t care less about English
Because I can’t care about myself anymore

I only wish for one thing
An easy way out
Thank you!!
For making my life hell again

You could’ve left it at the spring and summer blues
You didn’t need to make the fall heartbreak terminal
And DEFINITELY not now
You didn’t need to take my heart a year later
**** April
Is that like a lucky month for you
You gotta break Sean’s heart in April right??

But it’s okay
I really don’t care
I just hope you enjoy it
Every cut
Every moment you think of me
I ask one thing okay
Remember who did this
And I’m going through it
More than you could fathom
Don’t feel sorry
It’s on you
You can’t help it
I suffer for you
Isn’t that enough

It’s so fair
For you
Because you just let life decide for you
Everyone else I mean
And maybe one day they won’t be life and you'll be alone
Then we’ll finally be twinning
Because that’s where I belong
Because of you
And I wonder if that means you do too
Sean the loner
Cool
Thanks for the title
Master manipulator
(Who can’t make a single decision to not hurt anyone)

Forget
Because I’m not worth it
Because everyone is telling you to
Because if you do I won’t have to look into your eyes and wish it was different
I’m sick
I can’t get these thoughts out of my head
I’m so lost
It’s just dumb at this point
The fact I was so obsessed
And am
But will never be heard

And obviously you heard me
But what’s the point
What can ya do when your whole world says no
My world said yes
I wish that was enough

Just occurred to me
I’m not home
But I feel at peace
Because you know where I am
And how I am
I don’t have a message to respond to
I can rest

When I say I love you,
I don’t mean I just love you,
Your beauty,
Your talent,
Your dedication

I mean I love the way you accept me,
Even when nobody else can

I love whatever feeling you’re having,
Because I have the chance to know it

I love the way you tell a story,
It feels like I knew all of it from the start

I love the way you look at me,
Telling me our love will always last

I love the way you let me support you,
Even when it’s too hard to speak on

I love the way you love me,
You make every moment a gift to always remember

When I say I love you,
I mean I love all of you,
Every moment-every laugh-every cry,
I love every second you choose me,
I love being your first,
I love you Lizie

My writing has changed
It changes with you

When you’re here
When you’re not
When you’re close
When you’re far

What it doesn’t do
Is forget about you
How could it
You’re all I think about

Every morning
Before I spit out the blood
I wonder how you’re doing
I message to see if you’re up
You always are
And I’m here to talk to
About any issues

And every night
No matter the depression score
Tell me everything
Because I couldn’t stand to not know
Well-
I couldn’t stand to not help

You matter
We matter
Don’t leave me
Don’t lie
Be honest
That’s how I can help best

Tears won’t come
No matter how hard I try
The last time I could was in March
Since then I haven’t felt alone
Even when I am

I guess it’s what I get
The quiet peace of a falling world
Crumbled dreams
Fantasies destroyed

I’m too tired
To process
I’m just gonna keep doing this

I do blame you
Like actually
In my mind

I’m writing my thoughts right now

So you wondered what my overthinking was

It’s like this

Except you made it under representing
Of how I should be thinking
Because you couldn’t be good

Thanks for that

You exist like a thought I never meant to say out loud-
but now that I have, I can’t imagine silence without you.

You say maybe I’ll find someone else filling-
But I say baby,
If there’s someone else waiting,
My answer is I have a lady.

You’ve expressed your doubts,
And I hear your thoughts,
However you hit all the spots-
My heard had kept hidden in knots.

To be honest- you complete me,
So much all I think of saying is true,
So here’s something I can guarantee-
I love you

Burning
Dreadful
Sickening
Fearful

My anxiety slowly eats at me
It consumes my stomach first
Then it reaches for my mind
Before it attacks my heart

That’s when she steps in
My princess
My baby
My…savior?

Yes we heard it right
My dearly beloved
Whom I’ve sworn to never hurt
Has saved me from my sea of emotions

That pains turns to a void
The nausea slowly fading
And my fear-
Becomes barrels of love

I’m not sure why I am how I am
I just know she loves me for all of me
I’m not sure why she hates parts of her
I love her the same way

She’s tall
She’s fearless
She’s strong
She’s mine

And when I’m in desperate need
When I need a hero
I don’t even have to call
She comes flying

The world-
Cruel,
Unjust,
Dark

Us-
Bright,
Passionate,
Hopeful

I don’t care what it thinks
What it tries to do to stop us
We’re working against the world
And still,
you’re the only thing that makes sense

Your voice,
it drips like sunlight over my skin-
not burning, just warm,
like a kiss that starts in the heart
and spills outward.

You say my name,
and it’s like fingers brushing the back of my neck,
gentle, like you always are when you mean it.
Every syllable
a promise without pressure,
a tether made of silk and intention.

We talk until the day folds in on itself,
hours dripping slow like honey,
and I want more-
of your thoughts, your hands,
your breath softening the air between us
as we sit close
in the hush of the car,
windows fogged by the gravity
of just being near you.

God, Eliza,
I see us in years we haven’t lived-
your laugh decorating a kitchen,
your feet on my dashboard,
your eyes asking nothing
but still saying everything.

Love is not loud with you,
it’s skin-on-skin in words and time,
in the way your touch exists
even when we’re not touching.

And maybe-
maybe one day I’ll kiss you
like I’ve kissed you a thousand times
in dreams I never wake from.
And it’ll feel like this:
not fireworks,
but a soft ignition.
Not a storm,
but a home.

I can’t even care anymore
About anything
I just wish the pain to be gone
But I know it’ll never go
Just *****
That you had to be worth it like that
But not for a good reason

I can’t promise painless
I won’t fight reality
I’m not perfect
But I can try my **** best for you

So send the battles my way
I’ll do my best to help
Maybe I won’t be much
But I can hope to be enough

I live life on the edge
No wonder everything about me is spontaneous
Yet there’s always one constant-
You

Whether I like you-
Or love you
Worry about you-
Or care for you
I’m here
That’s not changing

Eliza... if you're thinking of ending it, I'm not gonna push you-but I am going to be honest. I want you to stay. I want you with me. And if some part of you wants that too
-if this thing between us feels as real to you as it does to me-then maybe it's worth choosing. I see you completely, and I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to be sure about everything right now, just about how you feel in this moment. And if that's me-
I'm here.

Thank you for being here
Thank you for staying all this time
Thank you for doing your best
Thank you for saying goodbye

Thank you for holding onto me
Even when my grandmother died
Thank you for the feeling of being seen
Even when I internally cried

Thank you for making it quick
Thank you for being clear
Thank you for the happiness and memories
Thank you for everything

Such a simple phrase
A phrase I’ve heard said so many times
I never understood it mattered
I never understood until I knew you

You make my heart flutter with every breath
Each glance makes my chest warm and fuzzy
And I love how you do that
You’re like a magical lover

We say I love you
And I mean I’m just so **** in love with you
I’m in love with the fact you’re with me
I’m in love with the thought of you feeling the same

Sure we miss one another
But I love that too
Every second you’re gone-you’re still here
Like you said- we’re a forever thing

I can’t stop saying I love you
But it isn’t a plea
I say it because I love that it’s true
I say it because I know you love me

My best poems are love poems
I always wanted them to succeed
I wish it meant something now

I don’t crash on you because you cause it
I crash on you because you’re the only person I can trust with me

My ill timed crashes aren’t because of you
They’re delayed because you stop me

I go to sleep feeling loved
That’s what you have to blame yourself for

I don’t blame you for being real with me
I accept, understand, embrace all of you

600 I love yous
600 different meanings
600 of the same intent

Where did that go
I don’t know
I just miss the afterglow

There’s this curve in your smile
that feels like sunrise-
not the blinding kind,
but the kind that just… shows up.
Slowly,
softly,
and all of a sudden I realize
I’m not cold anymore.

Your laugh-
it’s the kind of sound
that makes the world forget
it ever tried to break me.
It floats through the air
like it knows
it’s the best thing it’s ever carried.

And then there’s me.
Just orbiting you.
Nervous.
Tripping over my words,
saying too much or not enough
but feeling more alive than I’ve ever been.
You make now feel like the only thing that matters.

Because every time I look in your eyes,
it’s not just you I see.
I see home.
I see late nights and quiet mornings
I haven’t even lived yet.
I see a truth I didn’t know I needed
until the moment you looked back.

You’re always here.
Even when you’re not.
Even in the silence.
You’re still the one thing
that doesn’t shift.
And for the first time,
time doesn’t feel like it’s running out.
It feels like it’s with me.
Because you are.

There once was a girl,
A very special girl
I thought she was everything,
And at the same time,
Too perfect
I couldn’t see myself with her
She was taller,
She was stunning,
She made people smile and laugh,
She left good impressions
She was out of my league

But soon I learned,
There’s no such thing as incompatible,
Not for us
She let me in,
Making me filled with nerves,
Even sending me to the hospital for anxiety!
But still,
Every moment felt like a dream,
My depression sank until it left my soul,
And all I felt was her presence,
Slowly growing an unwavering love

But,
Me being the idiot I am,
I let her go
I thought she deserved better,
And she’d like being with someone,
Not waiting with someone
Until hours turned to days,
Days turned to weeks,
Weeks into months,
And all I did was miss her
I just wanted her back
And when I locked eyes with her,
When I felt her presence next to me in the sun,
I could feel it in the air,
In the sun reflecting off her beautiful skin,
We weren’t meant to end here

And so I gave her my all,
Loving her deeper through everything,
Until the day she asked me,
“Do you ever wonder what would’ve happened, had we stayed together”
I knew
I couldn’t mess this up again
I loved her harder than ever
And she did too
Every goodnight like a promise,
Each Goodmorning a sign of trust and care

Now
My dream girl,
Who really couldn’t exist
My baby I couldn’t have,
Because she’s all I need
All I want,
All I can think of desiring
Is mine
She lets me know it,
And I’m sharing this,
Just to let her know,
I love her too

******* in knots
Spewing nausea in an endless stream
Keeping my head in the dark
That’s my stomach for you

I can’t stand tennis without keeling over
Couldn’t finish half a meal
My mom thinks I need a job
What would I know, I’m in the dark

Maybe I should try therapy- again
Let someone tell me my life as it is
Then at least I won’t be alone 23.8 hours a day
I think that’d be nice

I miss having people to cope with
Now it’s just one or the other- or none
Everyone is growing distant-
Like my ex best friends

But how would I know
I’m in the dark
Waiting for something to shine down-
To take me out of the dark

A concept I never thought real,
One I believed I’d never know,
Something I longed to have.

And now that I do,
I’m learning everyday,
What makes it true.

The ever longing feeling when we’re apart,
The butterflies I get being next to you,
How everything fades out when I see you,
That sensation when our eyes lock.

True love isn’t lust,
It isn’t being crazy obsessed,
It isn’t even caring too much.

True love is choosing a person,
Even when you think you shouldn’t,
And returning to it,
No matter what stands in the way.

I live a life with true love each day,
Thinking about them more than I do myself,
But most importantly,
Standing ready to return at a moment’s notice.

But I still love you

My stomach is turning inside out
I can taste the morning sickness
I couldn’t tell you why this happens
Just what managed to make it unnoticed

There’s a lot of space between us
Even so
I wished you’d hear the engine spattering
My foot lifting off the clutch slightly too quick

There’s a lot of space between us
Yet you’re still on my mind
Good, bad, longing thoughts-
I can’t seem to shake off

There’s a lot of space between us
But you’re still filling my heart
Making the world bright and purple
Lifting me up inside

That space between us
It echoes in my soul
Pounding through my chest
Trembling across my fingers

The space between us
Isn’t a lovely thing
But somehow-
It’s still pure

I was venting
In all honesty
I have no one to talk to
I’m alone yet again
It’s fine
I knew it was hard, and believe what you want, I’m just hurt that every time I open up it gets thrown in my face
It’s not your fault obviously
You could’ve done something, but it wouldn’t be worth the risk
Forget me
I’m just a lost cause
In every reality
Except the one I wish was true

Murderer
Murderer
Murderer
A word I can’t get out of my head
A murderer is moving back into my house

Could he just disappear again
Jail, apartment, the street
I really don’t have a preference
Just find a place for the lunatic

Obviously I don’t sympathize
But I used to have his anger
It took me years to contain mine
Yet he feels good even yelling at his kids

We didn’t have the same experience
He lost his mother
A person he lived with for two extra years
Someone he could never support-
Not with money nor words
I lost a grandmother I couldn’t seem to stop caring about
Not in the five years she came to live with us
Yet she hated me
A grandchild who did nothing but care
I wanted to know her and learn her stories
But she pushed me aside like I was too much
Well
I’m depressed, close to failing grades
I have one dream and I don’t know where it ends
Am I bad enough for you now?