One right after the other,
You wonder why you’re so lonely, why no one wants to touch you,
It is not due to a lack of beauty oh no.
It is a simple lack of commitment you simply can’t handle even when you say you can.

“I did all sorts of crazy things when I was your age”...
“School isn’t hard why are you failing”....
We’ve been told to have fun and enjoy as we please,
With what time do we have left after the textbooks cry for hours of attention,
After the pieces of paper ask you how to calculate the moon and stars when all the classroom provided was addition,
We can tell you Things about the past but are not yet able to calculate our own financial future but hey we need an education.

Tick tock tick tock
The sounds of the clock
The only sounds I hear as I drift
In to this dark place
Dad, calls it therapy
I call it the 5 stages of hell
1 the therapist will think let me speak to you softly as to not scare you like you're some fragile toy not knowing you can't be frightened any more

2 oh 2 she thinks you trust her she thinks you don't know about the secret meetings or the Money exchanges out side of the agreement,
Yes I'm sick yes we know

3 I will tell you only but what I'm told to speak
Watching videos on  how fooling you into thinking "I'm better" works go ahead diagnose me I already know what's wrong it's okay take a guess

4 she'll tell you what she thinks is wrong tell you why you do what you do. Most likely it's a disorder because nothing can go unknown and nothing can be unlabeled
There must be medicine she must be insane

5 i walk the same streets except they arent streets they're gravel infested walk ways filled with fire
Demons being terrified of what lurks in the abyss I call a brain
This is what hell would feel like if any of this were true

It'll be okay that's all you can ever say.
Not knowing how much I cringe underneath your touch.
Not knowing you're the reason I'm not okay.
Being around you does not make me any happier.
Your "protection" is like stepping on broken glass only not getting cut in my feet but something much worse.
No I will not be okay

Bright eyes that shine when the first light of day hits them,
A smile that can wipe away an entire city like a nuclear bomb, so bright
hair that changes shapes and forms because sometimes you need it to,
There was no name and no gender but you know,  who showed up in your mind.
Because their very existence carries you like gravity
You spin and twirl around happily to the music called words that fall off of their lips that you of course want to kiss they're in your head aren't they?

Will you go out with me?
The only thing I can bring to you
Is honesty
I could say yes a million times yes
But you shouldn't trust the words as they roll off my tongue so smoothly
Said before I cannot give you the attention you crave
The instagram appreciations you desire
Because I do not know where I'm going
So ask again will you?