the smoke
it blocks all my sense
I wish for easier times
when the haze didn't cover my skull
when my soul did ache for things to calm the sadness
when the sadness didn't cover my mind like snow
dense and cold
Some nights I'm thankful for it
for the sad
if I didn't have it
I would have nothing left
the sad
the numb
it's all I have left

You
So brave yet so scared
You
So loud yet you don’t say much
You
Why do I adore
You?
Why do I want to push you away?
Why am I too close?
My wolf doesn’t like this
My wolf is snarling
Guarding me
Ready to crush your
Glowing heart
I want to love you
I want to be enough
But my wolf is howling so loud
So loud
I can’t
I can’t hear my own thoughts anymore
Only the wolf
And I want you to save me
I want you to hold me
But how foolish am I
To believe such a beautiful thing
Could ever want
To deal
With This
This snarling beast

There is a cauldron inside my chest, inside my bones
bubbling and seeping
the sickly green glow
the bubbles pop with a wet sticky splat

If the fire isn't put out soon
the poison will be everywhere
it will eat through the floor
and leave nothing
but a hole

The fluttering wings locked in
The birds are banging against the hollow bones of my heart
And they might break them

The plastic bags that I call my lungs aren’t working
There seems to be an unseen force crushing them
The noises all around are just being drowned out by the calling of the birds in my chest
Everything seems to be breaking

Hide all the sharp things
Because the wolf in my skull only wants to see blood
The red liquid running on and on until I drown in it

Hide your heart
The wolf only wants to see it broken
The wolf wants to crush it beneath his paws and put his teeth all the way through it.

The birds only want to sing
But they are trapped and only know how to scream
They only know how to break
Not build

The wolf won’t let me call you
The birds won’t let me call you
There is plastic covering my mouth
And blood on my hands