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When you hear the word acting what's the first thing that comes to mind?
Famous T.V shows?
Movies?
Musicals?
Plays?
The first thing that comes to my mind is people
Ordinary people
The people that pass you in the hallways
or on the streets
You may not realize it
but some people act every day
You know the girl that smiled at you as she walked by
did you know she's thinking about suicide?
The guy that asked you out and said he loved you
turns out it was a sick prank he pulled on you
The girl who pretends to be OK everyday
just to get people to stop worrying
Fake smiles
Fake love
Fake happiness
It's all acting
But you never thought about it that way
Did you?
I don't want to fall in love
And I don't want you to fall in love with me
I break easy
I don't want you to hurt me
But more importantly
I'm a loose cannon
And I don't want to hurt you
When I'm mad...I take it out on other people
I don't want you to be caught in the crossfire
That's why I'm afraid to fall
Writers notice the point to believe in a cure for real life
The magic of taking you out of this world
And transported into another universe
Full of love
adventure
heart break
and friendships
like no other
They create freedom on a single page
A story that becomes an addiction
A drug
Medicine for the mind and soul
She walks in the halls
Just like everyone else
But know one knows
That her smile is fake
Behind the mask
She’s crying, no, dying
Begging to be set free
You could never tell just by looking at her face
But behind the mask is a girl screaming,
“Set me free!”
“Let me go!”
“No more! Please!”
......................
Now she’s safe
Now she’s free
Don’t tell me that you love me and then go cheat on me
Don’t tell me that you’re going home and then go to a party
Because finding out the truth from someone else hurts more than finding out the truth from you
I’m so sick and tired of
being lied to
I let my guard down
That's when you swooped in
I wore a huge frown
And somehow you turned it into a grin
I don't know how you did it
Not sure how it all happened
All I know is that it's all gone now

My trust is gone
Depression moved in
I look like a huge clown who can't even paint on a grin
It all happened so fast
You started to talk behind my back
I don't know what to do
I hope this is over soon!

And I don't know who to trust anymore
If you don't love me walk right out the door
You always make fun of me then say you're joking
You call me stupid
I don't think that's funny
I thought you were my friend
Will someone tell me where the misery ends?

Now I need help building my walls
To save myself from another fall
To protect my heart
And keep me from losing it all
I'm building my walls
I won't let them fall
People change
Sometimes it's for the better
Sometimes it's for the worst

You changed
But not for the better
At least not to me

What happened to you?
You used to be so caring
So kind

Now you're mean
I talk to you about my problems
You say, "Just stop feeling that way."

It's not that easy
You should know that!
What happened to us?

Why did everything have to change?
Only 19 but my mind isn’t older
The world keeps getting colder
and I'm not talking about the weather
unless you count the storm in my head whenever we're together
Not sure how I feel about you yet
I don't want you to be someone I regret
Feel like we're moving too fast
Don't wanna make the same mistake I did in my past
I wanna hold you close
but at the same time I wanna let you go
I can't risk my heart breaking
you tell me it's a risk worth taking
Maybe you right
Just hold me tight
Trudging along in the winter snow
Please...never let me go
I wish I could go back to kindergarten
where you were friends with everyone
You only ever had to be yourself
No one cared if you couldn't throw a ball
or run fast, or even read
Nowadays I feel like I spend more time trying to impress people
than I am making myself happy
I can't run fast, I can't throw a ball very far
I love to read though...but here...that doesn't matter
Everything changed
I used to be friends with everyone!
Now I'm friends with a select few
The few that stayed
I can sing, I can act, I can talk for hours
Apparently people find that annoying
I'm not cool because I don't play sports
I'm not a cheerleader or a dancer either
I play in the band
and sing in the choir
perform in plays
read poetry in speech
It's funny how much things change
Your classmates
your teachers
your surroundings
and yes, even you
I wish I could go back to kindergarten
I wish nothing had changed
Leaving home
Moving on
Letting go
Not wanting to
Not ready to
Going to miss you
And you and you
Please don't forget me
I won't forget you
Not ready to leave
Don't know what to do
Sing our last song
Give one last speech
Take our diplomas
And then we leave
Have a party
Laugh so hard we cry
That is until
It's time to say goodbye
I can’t write happy poems
It’s not because I’m sad
Or depressed
It’s simply because sad poems come naturally
Talk about a broken heart
Or losing someone
And you have a sad poem
Happy poems are harder
Yes, I could right about the sun
How it’s light gives you hope
But I prefer the rain
I could right about flowers
And their natural beauty
But I prefer the snow
My poems may not be happy
But that’s because I don’t want them to be
When you need help I'm always there
Car troubles
Boyfriend troubles
Whenever you need a friend
A shoulder to cry on
I'm there for you

But when I need you, you always say you're busy
You're never there for me
I need you...
But you don't need me right now
Therefore
At this moment
I am nothing
How
How
How can you be in love with me...
When I don’t even love myself?
Being short helps
They’ll see right over your head
Don’t ever speak up
Sit in the back of the class
NEVER raise your hand
You want to be on a sports team?
That’s not the way to go
Join art club
They’ll notice your work but they’ll never notice you
Play in the band
We’re super loud but they still don’t see
Being in choir works too
Even when you’re singing your heart out
They’ll never notice you
You want to join the drama club?
That’s great
They’ll notice you for a night
Then the next day you’re out of their sight
Always dress in black
You’re a ninja in these halls
Never stand in the middle of the room
Always stay close to the walls
Now there’s one more thing you can do
Just try to be me
Then they’ll see right through you
I am from "Shut up" and "Why are you so stupid?"
From an older brother who's opinion for some reason matters
From skinny jeans, skull shirts, dresses, and boots
I'm from cheeseburgers and fries with family and ice cream cake
I'm from hay rack rides on haunted trails during Halloween

I'm From sheet music that comes to life with each note
From the smell of my leather jacket in the rain
I'm from dream boards and bucket lists
From clarinets and microphones
From "you're Michael's little sister?" or "you're Mrs. Hanson's daughter?"

I am from the black, grey and white ball of fur cuddling next to me while I sleep
From my best friends tears as I beg her not to go and trying to make her feel better in hopes she'll be ok
From my boyfriend's smile that transports me to a completely different universe.
I am from days at work and weekends with friends

I am from learning:
There aren't always happy endings but you have to keep trying until you find one
Music and books taught me that we can escape from our reality
And my mom, who taught me everything I know
My friend gave me  a sample poem someone else wrote with the "I am from" topic. I figured I would try my own.
Whenever we kissed I felt electricity
Whenever we touched he sent chills up my spine
Whenever we cuddled I felt safe in his embrace
Whenever he looked at me...he smiled
Whenever he smiled I melted

Now we don't kiss, we don't touch unless it's for a high five or a pity hug. We don't cuddle...and whenever he smiles...it's not for me. He doesn't look my way. He can't tell when I'm not happy. And now...I won't get my kiss in the rain, or a long walk on a beach. I won't get to yell at our kids to stop playing in the street. He promised me that he would never leave...that was a promise he didn't keep. Now I'm his pathetic ex that won't get over him. I still love him while he's trying to move on with another woman.

Now whenever he looks at me...I see hate.
He doesn't smile
He gives me a pity grin
Or nothing at all
I feel like I annoy him whenever I come talk to him
So now I'll just stay away
Be silent
Be still
Be nothing
Because in his eyes...that's what I am now...

Nothing
I'm usually able to do things on my own
Especially when I find myself in the zone
But for some reason I can't find the tune
Then you come along and you know what to do
You find the beat so perfectly
You start out soft then you get all crazy
So while you play the music and start the song
I'll join in and sing along
Together we can do anything
Reach any dream
You make my heart beat so fast
I want this dream to last and last
The music we make will have no mistakes
Because you'll always find the beat so perfectly
And you'll strum the chords in the perfect key
And while you play the music and start the song
I'll always be there with you...singing along
I say, "I miss you."
You say, "I'm sorry."
I say, "I wish you were here."
You say, "I'm sorry."
I say, "I need you."
You say, "I'm sorry."
What will happen if I say, "I love you?"
Will you say, "I'm sorry?"
I don't want an apology.
I want you to miss me.
I want you to want me.
I want you to need me.
I want to feel like I'm not wasting my time.
Because if I am, you really will be sorry.
You smile at her like she's the only girl in the world
I remember when you smiled at me like that

She's beautiful with her dark brown hair, tan skin and brown eyes that sparkle when she smiles her perfect smile.

I'm sorry I'm short with blonde hair and pale skin
I'm sorry my green eyes don't sparkle
I'm sorry my smile isn't perfect
But most of all
I'm sorry that I'm not her
But just remember...the man that I love...will always be you
How could this happen?
I was so careful
So cautious
I had my guard up
and yet you snuck up on me
You were something I wasn't expecting
and I think I'm in love again
I don't know how to explain it
I though my heart was forever in pieces
yet some how you fixed it
it all happened so fast I didn't have time to stop it
But now that it's in motion I don't think I can
I know I'm in love again
The way the water glistened on your body made her weak
Your eyes a deep sea green
Your lips the perfect shade of sunset pink
You were like a siren
Beckoning her to come closer
It all started with one not so innocent touch
One not so innocent kiss
One not so innocent night
You left her wanting more
But she was afraid to get too close
Afraid that you would take her down into the depths of the sea
So that she could drown in your every word
Afraid all you wanted was for her to get caught on your hook
But then you kept calling her with a voice as soft as silk
Singing to her
Making her jump into the water with you
The pressure of the salty water has surrounded the both of you
The gentle waves become a violent storm
You both sink into the feeling of temptation
Sinking
Drowning
Until you both find yourselves
In Too Deep
While you're holding her hand
I'll stay back watching
Staying out of your way

And even while I'm with another man
My thoughts my be drifting
What can I say?

I still love you
I start to move on with him
He makes me laugh
Makes me happy
He makes me forget about everything

But then someone mentions your name
Brings you into a conversation
My head starts to spin
How can I move on...if you're not really gone

My brain is all about you
Only you
And when I start to forget you
You break your way back through
I wish you would look at me...the way you look at her. I wish you would care about me...like you did before. I wish you would be here for me...I miss you...I wish you would miss me too

And I know that I should move on...but I can't stand the fact that you're gone!

I wish you would long for me...the way I long for you. I wish you would set me free, so I can get over you. But no matter how hard I try, I can't escape those eyes. I wish you didn't have a hold on me...I wish I could break free...

And I know that you are happy now...and I know that you have moved on...and I'm happy for you...but I wish and I pray that someone will look at me that way...the way you used to...

I want someone to hold me in their arms and tell me it's ok just like you used too! I want someone to be there for me! Just like you used to...

I wish you loved me too....
I break everything I touch
I can't do anything right
I've literally bumped into walls
and anything in my sights
I'm a klutz who always falls
wherever I go, destruction always follows

But when I was with you, I fell for a different reason
I fell in love with you
You knocked me off my feet
you were something I wasn't expecting
I thought my wish finally came true.
but then I ended up breaking you too.
I'm last in everyone's brain
Last in everyone's heart
Last on everyone's mind
I thought I was at least first in yours
but I was wrong
You told me that I was your number one
I know that's not true
You have your friends, the band, your family, then you have you.
Where am I on your list?
Dead last
Just like I am on everyone else's
Listen
What do you hear?
Describe it to me
Tell me what it means to you
The silence
The laughter
The chaos
The disaster
Just listen
What do you hear?
The silence can be deafening
The laughter can be fake
The chaos can be only the beginning
And the disaster…is the end
So really...
Listen
And listen carefully this time
They warned me about you
Told me not to fall
So of course I did
But the problem is you live so far
The distance is killing me
And that’s why I won’t let you be with me
You say you love me
but is that really true
I want to be with you
well at least I think I do
If you were closer
I would know
So I guess now
I should just let you go
Won't talk to me
Won't text me back
You talk to them
and shut me out
And no matter loud I scream
you don't hear a thing
When did the silence become so loud?
It's getting harder to keep it down
I try so hard to drown you out
but I'm stuck in a stupid drought
I can't get you out of my head
and all the words we left unsaid
Me
Me
I've been called ugly
I've been told I don't fit the perfect mold
I'm too short
My hair is too thin
My stomach sticks out too much
As I look into the mirror, I see that all of this is true
But I also see many things that are beautiful too
My eyes
My nose
My clothes
These things are all perfect to me
And you know what?
I wouldn't change a thing
Have you ever realized that a certain sound, smell, or picture could bring back a thousand memories. A car horn can remind you of when your friends always picked you up for school. Laughing on the way there as you listened to the radio. The smell of freshly baked cookies can remind you of Christmas with Grandma. Or that picture of you and that guy who changed everything...you know that you’ll always remember him. Even if he doesn’t remember you.
“Dear Evan Hansen”
“Hamilton”
“High School Musical”
“The Sound Of Music”
“Waitress”
These are just a few of my favorite musicals
Musicals have the power to make everything better
Whenever I'm down or feeling blue I watch a musical
or sometimes I just listen to the music
Anything to put a smile back on my face
We were both wearing purple
Such a beautiful color
It made your eyes pop
And you said it made my eyes sparkle
You said you loved me
Repeatedly
And I loved you too
I wanted to kiss you but I knew that I couldn't
So instead I held you until the music ended
Then you kept leaving me to dance with your friends
And I said something that I would soon regret
On our way home we said some things
Or rather, yelled some things
And that was our last dance
And my last chance to hold you
I love your smile
I love to see you happy
But I loved it more when that smile was for me

I want nothing more than to see you happy
I want nothing more than to see you smiling
But I wish I was happy too

Is it selfish if I stop you from being happy?
Is it selfish if I keep you from moving on?
Tell me the truth...Is it selfish?

Maybe...but I want you to be as miserable as you made me
Her emerald green eyes wept tears of red.
The man she loved is now dead
Not literally
But in her mind he might as well be.
Her self-esteem and her heart both shattered
His last kiss still carved on her lips
burning like a fire
She sat and wondered
"How did a night of dancing and laughter
become a toxic, deafening silence?"
How could she have been so foolish?
As the blood started to drip from her hands
feathers appeared, forming golden wings
Broken
Lost
Forsaken
Fragile
and yet still hopeful
she flew towards the silver moon
Finally free
I don't know how to tell you this
I don't even know where to start
But I'm falling out of love
I think I have a sick heart
Our love was so strong
and I don't know what to say
but now it feels so wrong
I just want you to be happy
I wish I knew what to do
But I am so confused
I think I need a jumpstart
to fix my sick heart
Louder than any drum beat or strum of a guitar
Louder than a crack of thunder no matter how close or how far
All of the voices in your head, starting to scream all at once
Though the space around you is silent, you can hear each and every one saying,
"You should've done this different."
"You could have been better."
"Why didn't you speak up?"
"Why didn't you tell her?"
And as long as there is silence, the voices won't stop telling
Everything you could've done to turn off all the yelling
You could turn on some music to drown all of them out
But you're looking for something specific
Some important sound
A voice lost years ago
Where it went, even you don't know
A voice that has never spoken up
Never said a word
Until finally, through all of the noise
your own voice is heard
No kidding.
Someone,
under cover of night
or another invisibility cloak
or thanks to those goblins in Gringotts,
sneaked into Bellatrix’s bank vault
and stole the sword of Gryffindor.

What do you do with
a sword of that caliber?
Do you use it to help
the house elves in the kitchen?
Slicing bread, chopping vegetables, and cutting meat while they stare at you in awe?

Or set it on the shelf in the headmaster’s office
the same shelf above the beautiful fire Phoenix
you watched explode.
Place it next to the snapshot of Dumbledore,
smiling and winking at you
and make tiresome jokes about how it belonged to
Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived.

Or do you tuck it in the bottom of the sorting hat that placed you into Gryffindor in the first place,
wrapped in the scarf Fawkes brought you from
Dumbledore’s office?
Do you take it out when you need to defeat the basilisk or stab some horcruxes and you don’t have a venomous fang to use instead?

And do you think there in your common room,
with the dementors circling around the school, and
He Who Shall Not Be Named back again, that you could wield the sword and think you’re the
Chosen One?
This was a poetry assignment in my English class. We each had the same format and started with the topic “somebody stole...” this was my idea.
Hands shaking
Palms sweating
Legs rocking back and forth
I look ahead
a thousand eyes are staring at me
I start to sing
quiet at first
then I get louder
as I feel my confidence burst
thunderous applause
after I'm done
Sit and wonder
Where did that come from
I fought my stage fright
and I won
I’ve dated many guys
No one really stood out
I never believed in love
Yes, I had my doubts
Never had a need to be guarded
Because I’ve never really been broken hearted

Then he walked into my life
No danced into it
His eyes lit up the entire room
And out of everyone
His eyes drifted to mine

It wasn’t even official
He didn’t ask me out
But we never ran out of things to talk about
My dreams for the future
What happened in the past
He listened to all of it
And didn’t judge or laugh

When it became official
I was already in love
Spent most of my time with him
There was never a dull moment
I gave everything to him

There was no hesitance
I fell right away
And just as fast
It was all taken away

One mistake
One stupid remark
One fight
One broken heart

Then he was gone
I can’t even say that my heart is broken
Because you see, he took it with him
He never gave it back

He may have smashed it with a hammer
Because I always feel sharp pains
All I know is there is now an empty space
And no pieces remain

Except for maybe one
That will help me learn to love once more
To help me find a man
That will make me once again feel whole
Unprepared because of procrastination
I already had the idea in my head I just couldn’t find the words
I perform tomorrow, a small town being my destination
I know I should just go to bed
But being this stressed out is making my head hurt
Have to calm down
I’m sure I’ll be fine
Won’t look like a clown
Being this stressed should be a crime
Stage 1: Denial- He didn't break up with you...no he'll call you tomorrow telling you that he loves you.

Stage 2: Anger- How could he do this to you?! Leave you alone after all you've been through! You want to start yelling and punching!

Stage 3: Bargaining- Realizing you still love him and would do anything to have him back. You start saying things like, "Please take me back! I can change!"

Stage 4: Depression- You start to realize that you'll never get back together. You stop eating...you stop sleeping...you stop talking. Some people don't make it passed this stage.

Stage 5: Acceptance- Finally accepting what happened. Realizing it's for the better. Finding the courage to move on.
The pencil moves swiftly across the page.
Then you see that you've made a mistake.
This causes the eraser to shrink.
Oops, you've made another mistake.
The eraser is now a little smaller.
Your story, however, is not yet finished.
There will be more mistakes and soon the eraser will be even smaller.
One mistake is all it takes for the eraser to shrink until its finally gone all together.
The sky was dark but the lights were blinding
The silence was filled with laughter and screaming
You appeared out of nowhere and came with us everywhere
Spinning on the zero gravity
Although just looking at you was enough to make me dizzy
In my stomach I felt butterflies
Was that you or the rides?
My head was spinning
My thoughts were reeling
Up one minute and down the next
On the ferris wheel of life feeling blessed
Drove us home
For some reason I didn't want you to go
That was the moment I knew
My life wouldn't be complete without you
Why is is important that people notice you?
Peoples’ opinions matter so much that one bad comment or dislike causes you to collapse.
You want to be loved, but this isn’t love.
You post on social media made up stories about how your life is going great just so you can get a good rating.
But they don’t know you.
I mean your friends and family do obviously, but what about the other followers that you’ve never even heard of?
That you’ve never even met before?
Why do you care what they think?

Why do I care what people think?

That simple, stupid thumbs up.
I always thought true love was something found in fairy tales
That is until I met you
From the moment our eyes met I knew you were the one for me
My soul mate
My one and only
I know true loves kiss can't really break any spell
In fact, it does the opposite
Because every time we kiss I swear you put me in a trance
And that's one spell I would never want to break
Where were you before the heartbreak?
Why couldn't I have met you first?
Where were you before the mistake,
before the promises became just words?

Where were you before the leaves turned brown,
before their color started to fade?
Where were you before they all fell down,
before everything turned to grey?

Where were you before the snow,
before everything was nothing but cold?
Where were you when he wouldn't hold me,
before I was so lonely?

Oh yeah...you didn't even know me
It’s funny that you ask
I am many people
I am Princess Sally
Jolene
Batgirl
Salome
Witch # 1
Julia
Mary Warren
Nikki Kay Kayne
And even Sharpay Evans
I can see you are confused
These are all of the parts I’ve played
They are all me in some way
When I get older I hope to play more
Maybe I’ll get to be Cinderella
Or finally the girl next door
I’ll have to wait and see
But I can’t wait for what the future holds for me
Words usually flow so easily for me
not when it comes to writing ticket poetry
more than 100 random words I wrote myself
ranging from the word library to spotlight
ocean to pencil
self-esteem to the color red
I was hoping writing this would give me inspiration
but I still seem to be suffering from writer's block

— The End —