You wanted to know?
You wanted to know why did I go
I left because I wanted to die.
I left because I ran out of tears to cry.
You said suicide was the most selfish thing
So I left so I could still dream
But you dragged me back and the feeling grows
I don’t tell anybody, nobody knows
That I’m already dead
With all my words still unsaid
I don’t sleep at night
My mind is in a constant fight
For a life I don’t even want to stay in
You think you’ll win
But in the end
I’ll be gone and no one will
No one will win

Everyone is asking me
If I’m okay
And I just say yes
Because it’s easier to be
To be okay
But it never feels right
And I guess
I guess that’s because ive spoken to you
And they don’t follow it up
With “do you promise?”
They don’t do it like you
So I’ll lie and say yes
I guess

You want me to be someone I’m not
Just like I want you to be someone you’re not
But we aren’t the same
I want you to be a mother
But you will never change
you want me to be perfect
And I will change infinite times
Trying to be what you want
We are not the same
I don’t know who I am anymore

I cannot be saved
No words help
Hugs are useless
Pain is everywhere
I cannot cope
Everything is bad
I don’t feel like me
I’m tired

I want




































To not exist

Got a mark on my thigh that I did with my nails
Got a collection of safety pins tucked by my bed
Got scars on my wrists that aren’t fully healed

Got a permanent smile that isn’t true at all
Got my life together like I got some kinda clue
Got friends who care but I still won’t share

Got thoughts in my head saying I should be dead
Got tears in my eyes as I lay down to sleep
Got piles of clothes that are suddenly too loose

Got a mirror on my wall that taunts and teases
Got eyes that are tired but nobody notices
Got a soul that is broken and a mind that is done

You always look so happy though!

That’s fake
That’s fake
It’s fake
It’s fake
Fake
Fake