Can anyone hear me?
I’m yelling but no one is listening
I’m falling but no one is catching me
I’m crying but no one sees me
I’m grabbing but no one feels me
Am I invisible

I haven’t left my house in eleven days
Not by choice
I’m going crazy
The days are years long
I need out
I’m locked up
I can’t function
Help me

It feels like I’m taking a deep breath
But my breathing is still irregular
It feels like I’m swimming
With everything I have
But I’m still going under
It feels like I’m running
But my legs can’t support me anymore
It feels like I’m living
But I’m dead now inside

I became quiet
Because you were too loud
I became apologetic
Because you never apologized
I began to hate touch
Because you touched with violence
I began to hate myself
Because you never loved me
I don’t know how much more change
I can take before i’m unrecognizable

I cut my arms in seventh grade.
“What’s so terrible about your life?”
“Why are you looking for pity?”
I developed an eating disorder.
“Gain weight, you look awful.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. Stop.”
I ran away.
“You think your life is so miserable!”
“You have clothes and food and shelter what could possibly be wrong?”
I cried myself to sleep every night.
You never noticed.
These were cries for help, mom!
This wasnt attention seeking!
I needed you to be a real parent.
I was crying.
For help.

One day he’ll grow up
One day he’ll realize why we didn’t like him
One day he’ll know it wasn’t his fault
But we don’t like him
Right now
And I hope one day he’ll know it’s because
He got the childhood we dreamed about
He got to be the favorite
He got to know love and hugs
Not hatred and hitting
He got to be mean
And bossy and rude
Without consequences
I hope one day he’ll realize
He got the life we wanted
And we can’t help but to envy him for it.

I have been blessed
With an amazing friend
Words cannot explain