I just realized
I have 99 followers!
That means that 99 wonderful people
On this wonderful cite
Have decided they like my poetry enough
To have it show up on their page
Whenever I post!
That’s fricken awesome!
99 friends.
I love you all my beautiful and valid and amazing friends!!!

I’m sitting here and I don’t know who I am

But at the same time I know exactly who I am.

I had a dream last night
I was with a girl
I REALLY liked her
We were kissing in a Marshall’s store (random, ik)
Then,
Her mom came by and told us to stop
I guess she didn’t appreciate
All the PDA
But
The reason I’m writing this
Is that it made me realize something
I have been thinking
That maybe I’m straight
But
After that dream
I realized.....



That I really ******* like girls

Broken window
Broken glass
Broken girl
Empty flask

A shot for me
A shot for you
A shot for those who hurt me
And those who hurt you

Bottoms up!
Put away that frown
Bottoms up!
Push all the feelings











Down

“You’re so stupid!”
You say,
And I believe you
“You worthless ****!”
You say
And I know it
Unlikable
Annoying
Insignificant *****
You call me
And with every word
My soul plummets deeper
Into the hole
Where no light comes in
And you can never escape
The suffocating darkness

Well
I bet that
You weren’t expecting that
“You”
Is actually
The little voice in my head
That completely
And utterly
Hates
Me

How extraordinary is it
That nature had created
Such beauty
And all we humans have done
Is destroy it?

On the outside:
Hi!
-Hey.
How are you?
-I’m good, what about you?
I’m good, thanks.

In my head:
Oh, if only they knew
That I am the complete opposite of “good”
But I have to say that I am
Because society hates
When we wear our hearts on our sleeves

In their head:
Yeah, sure
I’m totally “good”
Well
I guess she isn’t either
But that’s just how it goes

Back outside:
Well, I’ll see you later!
-Yeah, see you later!
(They both walk away)

Inside our heads:
I hope I don’t see them later.

Heart pounding
Ears ringing
Shaking violently from deep in my core
Lungs gasping
Thoughts swirling
And I can’t even grasp a word
Head banging
Fist beating
Saying please, no more, no more
Urge fighting
Rage boiling
Begging my tears not to hit the floor

I want to lay
In the tall, tall grass
Enjoy the peace while it lasts

I want to hear
A sweet melody
Floating along in the summer breeze

I want to hang my feet
In a babbling stream
Let my troubles flow out of me

I want to look up to
A clear blue sky
Wonder what lives in that world so high

I want to be
Alone to dream
My face bathing in a warm sunbeam

I wish to be
In a land so divine
Where love will prevail
And hate outshined

Go to sleep my dear,
For in the morning when you wake
It will be a new day
A fresh start
Where you can be whoever you want to be
Do whatever you want to do,
And love whoever you want to love
Just like the day before.

I am the only person
That I am completely sure is real

without you
i’m
a cloudy day
raining on other parades
a dark shadow
shedding black thoughts
on the pure and light
a sad poem
waiting for someone
to make me happy again

I am an atheist
But sometimes,
I believe that there is something up there
But it isn't good like they all say
It exists only to bring pain
And suffering
Into my life

I’m underground
Buried
Motionless
Soundless
Senseless
But I can feel something
Bubbling beneath the surface
Then…
Hot lava flows through
And fury breaks free inside of me
I claw open the wooden coffin
And dig my way up to the surface
I rip the grass covering the wet soil
And emerge
At last I am free
At last I can feel
At last I can scream
As loud as I desire
I am no longer under
I am on top
Of
The
World

Red
A silky rose
Beautiful at first glance
But get near to her,
And you’ll be pricked by her thorns

Orange
Fire in her soul
Slowly growing
But she is afraid to let it out
For fear of being rejected

Yellow
The beating sun
She will not let herself go unnoticed
Shining light over the whole world
Bringing happiness to everyone

Green
Natures favorite color
She is lively
Bringing peace to everyone
Who lays their eyes on her

Blue
The vast sky
Clear on some days
Cloudy on others
And at night she cradles softly
The glowing stars

Purple
A gorgeous flower
Shy and quiet
But as beautiful inside
As she is on the surface

Black
The dark abyss
Terrifying and mysterious
People have yet to unlock
Her beautiful secrets

Red
Orange
Yellow
Green
Blue
Purple
Black
The colors of the rainbow
The ones that make up
Our entire universe
Every girl
Is a different color
Playing a different part
In the game of our world
We must appreciate all of them
Whether they are shy,
Outgoing,
Friendly,
Or a bit standoffish
It’s the inside that matters
You just need to get to know them enough
To see it

Rubies are red
Skies are blue
They say I could do better
But I still love you

I’ll give you a stupid Valentine
Decked out in red and pink
I would say I love you so,
But I’m afraid you’ll be gone in a blink

Her heart longs
To be on the road
To be a free gypsy
Like a river she’s always flowed

She has beach eyes
A hazel ring in the center,
The golden sand
A grayish blue surrounding it
The ocean
And finally
The deep turquoise line around the edge
The line that marries the sky and the sea
Together in a beautiful way
Her gorgeous
Beach eyes
Bore into mine
As we sit and watch the sun
Set over the ocean
Darkness falls
But it doesn’t matter
Because I still have those eyes
To look at when the sky turns dark
When the sea is no longer a royal blue
And the sun has set beneath it

I want to be heard
I want to start talking
And have all my friends eyes on me
Listening to what I have to say
Even for just a second
That would be enough
I just want
For once
To be
Heard

Hold me
Wrap every inch of you
Around every inch of me
And feel my beating heart (it beats for you)
Keep me close
Tuck me into your pocket
And feel my weight
When you need reassurance (I’m always with you)
Love me
Know how much I adore you
And reciprocate it genuinely (if you can)
Be my lover
My one and only
My best friend
And most of all....
Never
Leave

Although her outer was
Oh, so bright
And made everyone around her happy
Her soul was dark
And anyone who even glanced at it
Felt so deeply and utterly sad
She hid in her glow
Because she didn’t want people to see
How black her soul had become
She only wanted to make people happy
But she ended up just making herself feel
Worse
And
Worse

I’m broken
I am millions upon millions
Of shards of glass
Strewn across the floor
Watch your step
As you try to fix me
Because the shattered pieces of glass
Could pierce you at any moment
Tear your skin at its thinnest
And you’ll never expect it
Because you will piece me together
One shard at a time
I may look strong
Like all I’ve been through has shaped me
And it has
But I will never be perfect
There will always be scars
Across my heart and soul
And they will never leave me
Because they are a part of who I am
I am my scars
I am my broken pieces
Strewn across the floor
And though you fix me in the outside
I will never
Ever
Be fixed on the inside

Is it weird,
That even as a to-be-teenager,
I still feel like a young child around Christmas?

Christmas Eve:
Butterflies are fluttering in my stomach
And it takes me about 2 hours to finally get to sleep
And then I wake up just to take another 2 hours
To fall asleep again

Christmas Morning:
I wake up
Early.
Like, really early
Around 6:20
And my heart is beating so fast,
That I have to slow my breathing to get it back to normal.
I want to wait, give everyone else some time to sleep in
But I can't take the anticipation any longer

I rush downstairs
To feast my eyes on the wondrous sight
Of presents wrapped under a fake pine tree, covered in lights
I have to wait, of course
For my brothers to wake up
So as I wait
Fighting off the urge to unwrap my presents
I look at the ones that said to be mine
And I examine them closely
So that maybe,
Just maybe
I could figure out what they might be.

Finally,
The time has come
And we all run to our presents
Starting to rip off the beautiful wrapping paper
To reveal our Christmas gifts

So, tell me, dear friends
Is it weird?
That I still feel the infamous Christmas Anticipation,
Even as a to-be-teen?

You’re cute.
I know it.
But I don’t know if you know it.
My friend told you that you’re cute
Last week at the party
And I laughed
But I wish it were me
That you knew
Thought you were cute.
Because I really like you.
But nothing will ever happen.
A multitude of things set us apart
Our age
My awkwardness
And her
I wish I could have you but I can’t.
I’m sorry.