"I hate my life."
"I want to die.'"
It's what they all say
But really
All they want
Is for life to be perfect
And if that's what they're waiting for
Then they might as well just **** themselves
Because life will never be perfect
It is messy
And crazy
And incomprehensible sometimes
But if there was no darkness
Was there ever any light?

We've all been raised in a
****** up world
With ****** up minds
I’m a ****** up girl

We’ve all been born to a
****** up race
With ****** up ideas
Coming at a ****** up pace

We’ve all seen this world as a
****** up thing
With ****** up people
Wearing ****** up rings

We all know how
****** up we are
But all we do
Is sit
And stare
At our phones
And think it will just go away
If we ignore it long enough

We’ll do this
Until the world ends
And we have no chance at stopping it
Because we are
******
The
Hell
Up

“You’re so stupid!”
You say,
And I believe you
“You worthless ****!”
You say
And I know it
Unlikable
Annoying
Insignificant *****
You call me
And with every word
My soul plummets deeper
Into the hole
Where no light comes in
And you can never escape
The suffocating darkness

Well
I bet that
You weren’t expecting that
“You”
Is actually
The little voice in my head
That completely
And utterly
Hates
Me

Last night
I dreamt of the beach
And waves as high as the clouds
Everyone else
Was having a ball in the huge waves
Even my little 3-year-old brothers
Not affected at all
By the tsunami-like mountains
Of icy-blue water
But
The second
That I stepped foot in the water
I was swept under
And into darkness
And it was that moment
That I
Was truly
Awoken from that dream

Music is escape
A place where I can melt into
A beautiful voice
A beautiful sound
A beautiful feeling

Music is safety
A place where I feel
Happy
Loved
Protected

Music is happiness
A place where I can
Dance
Sing
Be who I really am


Music is life.

There are so many things
That are confusing to me right now
But the one thing that is clear
Is my love for you

Rubies are red
Skies are blue
They say I could do better
But I still love you

I’ll give you a stupid Valentine
Decked out in red and pink
I would say I love you so,
But I’m afraid you’ll be gone in a blink

She has beach eyes
A hazel ring in the center,
The golden sand
A grayish blue surrounding it
The ocean
And finally
The deep turquoise line around the edge
The line that marries the sky and the sea
Together in a beautiful way
Her gorgeous
Beach eyes
Bore into mine
As we sit and watch the sun
Set over the ocean
Darkness falls
But it doesn’t matter
Because I still have those eyes
To look at when the sky turns dark
When the sea is no longer a royal blue
And the sun has set beneath it

I am an atheist
But sometimes,
I believe that there is something up there
But it isn't good like they all say
It exists only to bring pain
And suffering
Into my life

If I
Look upwards
From my book
To look at you....


You better watch out....



Because....



I must really ******* love you.

I am strong
I’ve got this
I am in control

I’m kind
I’m loved
I deserve to be heard

This isn’t that bad
I’m not going to die
It’s just a bit of anxiety

What’s the worst thing that could happen?
Not very bad
I’m stronger than I know

I’m ok
I’m ok.
I’m ok!

Red
A silky rose
Beautiful at first glance
But get near to her,
And you’ll be pricked by her thorns

Orange
Fire in her soul
Slowly growing
But she is afraid to let it out
For fear of being rejected

Yellow
The beating sun
She will not let herself go unnoticed
Shining light over the whole world
Bringing happiness to everyone

Green
Natures favorite color
She is lively
Bringing peace to everyone
Who lays their eyes on her

Blue
The vast sky
Clear on some days
Cloudy on others
And at night she cradles softly
The glowing stars

Purple
A gorgeous flower
Shy and quiet
But as beautiful inside
As she is on the surface

Black
The dark abyss
Terrifying and mysterious
People have yet to unlock
Her beautiful secrets

Red
Orange
Yellow
Green
Blue
Purple
Black
The colors of the rainbow
The ones that make up
Our entire universe
Every girl
Is a different color
Playing a different part
In the game of our world
We must appreciate all of them
Whether they are shy,
Outgoing,
Friendly,
Or a bit standoffish
It’s the inside that matters
You just need to get to know them enough
To see it

I want to lay
In the tall, tall grass
Enjoy the peace while it lasts

I want to hear
A sweet melody
Floating along in the summer breeze

I want to hang my feet
In a babbling stream
Let my troubles flow out of me

I want to look up to
A clear blue sky
Wonder what lives in that world so high

I want to be
Alone to dream
My face bathing in a warm sunbeam

I wish to be
In a land so divine
Where love will prevail
And hate outshined

Her heart longs
To be on the road
To be a free gypsy
Like a river she’s always flowed

Hey Violet,
You’re so beautiful
Do you think that you could
Splatter some of that beauty
Onto a page
And share it with the rest of us?

You fill my dreams
Like you fill my heart
You are the only one I need

<3

It’s still snowing.
It’s been snowing since Sunday.
Helppppppp meeeeeeeee


But at least there’s no school!

:)

People write to help
People write to hurt
People write to inform
People write cause panic
People try to help by writing
But sometimes all it does is bad
People write to hurt
People write to help
People write
People.
Write.
Its what so many of us do
For so many different reasons
And who's to decide what reasons are right?

Is it weird,
That even as a to-be-teenager,
I still feel like a young child around Christmas?

Christmas Eve:
Butterflies are fluttering in my stomach
And it takes me about 2 hours to finally get to sleep
And then I wake up just to take another 2 hours
To fall asleep again

Christmas Morning:
I wake up
Early.
Like, really early
Around 6:20
And my heart is beating so fast,
That I have to slow my breathing to get it back to normal.
I want to wait, give everyone else some time to sleep in
But I can't take the anticipation any longer

I rush downstairs
To feast my eyes on the wondrous sight
Of presents wrapped under a fake pine tree, covered in lights
I have to wait, of course
For my brothers to wake up
So as I wait
Fighting off the urge to unwrap my presents
I look at the ones that said to be mine
And I examine them closely
So that maybe,
Just maybe
I could figure out what they might be.

Finally,
The time has come
And we all run to our presents
Starting to rip off the beautiful wrapping paper
To reveal our Christmas gifts

So, tell me, dear friends
Is it weird?
That I still feel the infamous Christmas Anticipation,
Even as a to-be-teen?

She walks
Head high
Hips swaying
Boots planting sturdily
Unwavering confidence
Emits from her every movement
The epitome of style

She flips her red-dyed hair
Blue eyes staring straight ahead
Lips slightly parted
Face as still as stone
Unfaltering authority
Emits from her every movement
The epitome of beauty

She moves her head from side to side
From the music in her earbuds
Eyes closed
Immersed in her favorite song
Unyielding passion
Emits from her every movement
The epitome of happiness

She takes out a notebook
And starts writing
Her pen moves fast
Along the lined paper
Unrelenting thoughtfulness
Emits from her every movement
The epitome of intelligence

She opens the car door
And sits in the passenger seat
She starts to smile widely
At her mom, talking about her day
Indefatigable love
Emits from her every movement
The epitome of caring

Why do I sit here
And read poems
When I know
That I have a test tomorrow
And I know
That I certainly have not
Studied

Her eyes are a canvas
Filled with tears and sorrow
Pain and self doubt
Regret and anger
But also
Those eyes know
Laughs and smiles
Inside jokes
Knowing looks
Paired with raised eyebrows
Her eyes are a filled canvas
Of beautiful green
The good and the bad
The hatred and the love
All right there
In her green eyes

True love is an amazing thing
We all wish to have it
And if you are lucky enough,
To have a true love in your life,
Please,
Love them with all of your heart
Because you don’t know when
It could all
disappear
In an instant
Cherish them
If not for your sake,
But for theirs