i wanna feel fine
on nights when my minds not so kind
sip some wine
fill my lungs from time to time
just so i feel fine

i wanna feel fine
hold me in your arms and tell me
"your mine"
your heart warms mine
kiss your lips from time to time
just so i feel fine

i miss you
i miss the world through your eyes
i miss you before anger was lurking outside the bedroom
i miss your peace walking home from school down the lil green trail
i miss your excitement when school took you on walks to the ****
i miss you when life looked like illustrations in a children book
you're still there
i feel you around when i laugh
you'll always be there
but you're so small
sometimes i can't find you within myself
and i miss you

i just hopped a fence
grasped the steel wires with my fingers best i could
took a chance
like i've taken many times before
scars are still left from the wires pricking and tearing my skin, sure
but i still climb
and i do it with thrill
a grin slapped on my face
and with as much hope as there is water in the oceans
or sunshine in the summer

whatever metaphor i use
doesn't matter
wherever i go
hope is permanently embedded in my soul
and maybe it makes me naive
and maybe it's hurt me before
but all that hurt is proof that i had hope
that i tried

hope propels me forward, guides me
hope gives me strength to climb
climb this fence like it's nothing
like im just floating up and over
till im there
and my toes plant themselves into the grass
and i see what the universe gifts me
the paradise that surrounds me

my body, my skin
no wounds
i didn't get pricked this time
i'm fine, i'm really fine
i've only been able to climb over once before
and i don't remember what it's like to live on this side anymore
just another chance to grow
learn
and love more

served nice and cold on an ice cream sundae
being held feels like a nice sunny day
i'm comforted
can even crack a smile
my vision is more than grey

you know you're funny
it's kinda healing
gets rid of all my thoughts and feelings
to laugh and be purely in the moment
and look at you
your cute face
for a second my memories don't come flooding back

i really hope i'm on the right track
and i hope that you like me back
i'm not ready to love but my heart is beating and my stomach has butterflies
i want you to stay around
so it doesn't feel like everyone is leaving

teach me to smile again
without any tension
keep me believing

you have planted yourself in my mind
in my thoughts
the little acts of kindness
that stop my heart
you have me feeling like a mess
your kiss, those hands touching me
i cannot stress
how i think of you and become a total mess

it's so emberrasing
in the most inconvenient moment i think of you
and i'm doing the most devilish things
im your scandalous fool

everyday
everyday
morning
go on a morning stroll and turn on my music
to distract myself
go inside and clean
to distract myself
make specific lists in my head about everything stressful i've been putting off
then sit down
finally to work
but i can't do anything and just sit and try to keep distracting myself
my brain won't stop
thinking
feeding me doubts
my inner critic so critical of everything that it's best to just not move an inch
and then it builds in my chest
every hour that passes
i panic
i need to do something productive before i ruin my life like i always do
do something
do something
DO SOMETHING
then i cry
then i sob
then i heal
reassure myself everything will be ok
calm myself down
and sleep
night
everyday
everyday

what i wanna say
it's all too much and i'll push you away
i know

thing is
what i wanna say
since the moment i met you
you blew me away

the thing is
what i wanna say
my plans for my life
don't make sense
anymore

what a bore
to live without passion
without someone to give my time

cause life is for living
body is for breathing
time is for killing
and being alive
i'm alive with you

the thing is
what i wanna say
since hiding away
i'm crawling out my cave
to you

but the thing is
will you