with words
left unspoken,
you left me alone
- heartbroken

After the rain;
then what?
will you go
and break
my heart again?

He’s the Man
That promised me
The moon
But killed
The sun

He’s the man
That took care of me
But put me
As his guarantee

He’s the man
Who purvey and produce
But composed
Songs of excuses

He’s the man
Of mystery
That one person
I couldn't predict
That one person
I fail to verdict

He’s the man
Of many things
Many things
Excluding me

It happens a lot
To me these days
Confused, irritated
In so many ways
Your words, your promises
Won’t match your act
And all I see was
A breach of contract

'I love you', 'I do'
Bulls, bulls and bulls -
Another trash, a lot more too
Is all I ever hear from you

And if we ever
Really end it
Promise me that you'll
Just shut it
For barely words
Came out from you
It only hurts
Cut through and through

This little space
I tend to be
Alone with coffee
And books with me
Where these go
Hand in hand perfectly
And blends evenly
You won't disagree

When in doubt
Turn to me
I’ll make you smile
And bring your coffee
When you're stress out
Just come with me
This book I’ll give you
It’ll make you glee
Cause books and coffee
Makes everything
Less - worry

Would you
Still, love me
Like you did?
Those times
When we were
Such a geek
Giving each other
Mix-tapes
Claiming our love
With phantom and beck
Those I cannot
Change with a click
But this feeling
Will forever
Cremated

Look deeper
Those who pretend
Acting lively
Like a friend
They’ll betray you
In the end
So, be wise
And stay content

This one wish
Goes to you
The one whom
Survive from
Broken hues
I wish
You well
This problem
You dwell
And keep on
Fighting
As you’re living
I may turn
Myself
From you
But do remember
These words
Are true
That every breathes
I take is glued
Glued together
With memories
Of you

She’s different
From other women
Where she walks
On different pavement
For every pavement
Her foot lies
Leaves a sparkle
To every eye

The reason
Feeling is real
When muse you seek
Is in someone close
Close to heart
And deep in heartbeat

I don’t like to speculate
I don’t think that we’re drifters
I don’t believe we’re strangers
I do understand though
That we’ve finally
Found our own path
Our own life goal that
One does not need a long explanation
Of why this
Or why suddenly that
You knew better
Friends don’t do that

We may not talk like we used to
We may not spend time as we do
But I’ll always pray for you
Your happiness when you’re depressed
Beautiful and pretty and nothing else
For every beat of sadness
Turns into music and dances
And no matter what
We do in life
Even if it took decades to meet up
Always remember
That once in my heart
Stays; in my heart

Love is my religion
Though sometimes I failed
On its mission
It's still
A belief I rely on
In darkest day
It gave such lifting
And showed promising

I don't need to prove
To people
By going to any
Sacred temple
To bend and pray
For whom it may
I believed I've
Shown it
In my own way

I didn’t speak of you
The way you spoke of me
Telling them
This and that
Those and all
I didn’t speak of you
At all

I didn’t speak of you
The way you
Spoke of me
Even sometimes
You saw me bragged
It wasn’t you
I blabbered about

The sea may part
Our heart and soul
I haven’t spoken of you
At all
For trust and loyalty
Is what I preached
I never speak of you
No.
Not even
A heartbeat

Let me free
From your gravity
This energy
Is killing me
I rather live
In agony
Then hoping
You’d find me

When the best
Yet to come
When everything
Is undone;
And somehow
It collides
It’ll vanish
With all your lies

I turn to poetry when I’m in pain
A virus I, I wouldn’t understand
Though long-black-coffee made me strong
I’m still in missed, this person I long

I only turn to poetry, when I’m in pain
It gave me feeling, it made me sane
You won’t get it, only I can
Flunked on life, again and again

This poetry I turn to; when I’m in pain
Wished I could stop it, hope I could stand
But this pain is where my heart desire
The ‘once’ crushed-broken; is finally on fire

Between intersections, he stood
Lurking and peeking below the surface
Wondering if he falls, he'll die
With a gasp of air left in his hand
He prayed somehow it'll end

But still, the ledge is where he stands
Which way to go?
Which where to bend?
Left or right... Either way
He’ll fall and die

And I am that man...
That man who stood on a ledge...

I broke your heart
Not once but twice
It was messy and hard
Your heart – I had heist
Never my motive
Never indeed
Hurting your love was
Like beating me to bleed

This feeling was true
It was never unsure
The only road that was taken
Crossing wrong pattern
Sometimes I wonder
If time meet again
Do you still smile to ear
If I said let’s begin?

But not once but twice
I beg you goodbye
These words flew easy
Easily letting you die
I’m sorry for hurting
I’m sorry I’m leaving
Not once but twice
I was cold as ice

To a place, I kept falling into
And hide my heart’s desire
Die with your words still inside you –
Stuck and sealed forever wired

I hurt him, he hurt me
Neither of us was meant to be
We thought we would be happy
When we choose this journey

We did our best
But our best was terrible
Not one day we could rest
From begging for a miracle

Then this is our last resort
To stand and heal what’s broken
Would it be forever resolved?
If we let our hearts open?

I’ve lost happiness along the way
I can’t seem to find it anywhere
For all those time we’ve lost our track
Honestly, this one caused me heartbreak
Whose fault is that? No one knew
The distance; the cold; the breaking rules
The “I have work” 24/7 a day
Leaving me and child alone – astray
I’ve lost your touch
Your love as much
It seems we’ve forgotten to love at all
Letting me breaking alone and fall
I’ve lost happiness along the way
I can’t seem to find it anywhere

When I die
What will people
Remember me by?
Will they remember?
The way I smiled?
Or when I said goodbye?
Is it perhaps
The way I cheated?
Or the time
When my kindness mistreated?
Would all the guys I’ve fallen before;
Remember me by the first hello?
Perhaps the moment our hearts unite;
Or the time I’ve said
This isn’t right?

Would all my friends
Visit my funeral?
Even when we’re no more in verbal?
The girls whom
I used to be close
Might not even
Send me a rose
I wonder will
They still miss me
When my soul
Incarnate to another mystery

Sometimes I don’t mind
Because of oblivion
Will fade in time
But really
The heart refuses to obey
When you were alone
From the very first day
How I wish
This and that and all
But then again;
It isn’t my call
Demanding people
To remember me by
When there isn’t any left
To be there on your death

There were moments
I sometimes wonder
All those bad omens
I have encountered
In the past
Or in the present
I cannot discern
Which one is
a pitiful lament

One minute he’s home;
other time he’s gone,
You could never comprehend
The life I have to pretend

write a poem.
a poem about
How I told you I love you,
and you couldn’t reply.
I told you I loved,
you knew I could never lie...

And for that
I couldn't stop smilling
As days go by

You're like
Home to me
Safe and peaceful
it felt like
It's worth
The damage
Just being
With you

I know exactly
How the story ends
There’s no you and me
To be frank
But I don't care
I love you still
And not even
The storm
Could deform
My wound
Cause you’re my Advil
For me to be heal

Music does exist
But it seems
They’ve lost of touch
Of a rhythm so much
And lyrics stuck in a hutch
Struggling to de-clutch
Both causing a smutch
Gone along the decades
Just a little bit too much

Touch me
where it
matter most;

My Trust

once you broke it
it'll vanish
before it even
touch the ground

How can you be
so clueless?
of a snake
curled up your leg?
I'm not gonna lie
it's defecting your eyes
what you saw
was a faux
of a fake
prince persia's Gawk

Maybe because
I have loved hard;
I decided
To Live Hard


(as in living life to the fullest kind of hard)

What is valentine to me?
Just another
Ordinary Thursday
That might be heartache
Or maybe plain “okay”
But what different
Does it make?
When I’m wide awake
In the midst of a shipwreck
Trying to unveil
This wicked braille
From your lips
Of proofread scripts

I want to ******
Every sound
Of your murmur
That squeals out
A Pathetic beggar
Begging for mercy
Oh mercy me
Gosh you’re such a coward
Bury yourself
With all that bragging
That turned soured

What’s the point
Of reassuring me
That this would be
A happy glee
When I am here
Pretending and acting
That the garden is blooming
And the birds
Is humming
When all the flowers
You’ve plucked
Is dead and dry
All the birds
Is bled and cried
Can you repeat the question?
What is valentine again?

I cannot brain
Every word that you've said to me
That you're too busy
You were occupied
You forgot
You were rushing
I cannot brain that
At all
Maybe you're saying
I'm whining
I'm not strong enough
I'm not doing the
Chores right
I'm not fully utilised
I'm not helpful
I don't understand you
No
I cannot brain
That at all
You weren't here
You didn’t know
You don't have the right
To say at all

This is my story
A melodrama-corny
A tragic incident
A burnt heart- not quite
Forever a quitter
Couldn’t stand a man
Rebounded as a lover
Who hands too slippery
To hold and stay close
Sweet-talking; he’s smouldering
With bitter lips that sink
Deeper than conversing
Pretends to be delighted
Act like you’re not lonely
The fact you’re always crying
The moment he’s gone and
You hold his clothes so tight
As you cuddle it every night
You wish you’re with him
When the truth he’s blending
With someone rather important
Leaving your heart dormant
Such a pathetic dying serpent
This is my story
A melodrama–corny

I couldn’t dare
To move on
It means
I have to believe
You’re really gone

Erase you
The forget you
It’s the hardest
Thing for me
To do

I want you
To stay
Forever
Okay?

It’s not fair
For you to claim
That you work harder
That you strive longer
That you bear heavier
That you haven’t seen the daylight
That you haven’t touched
Your food yet
It’s not fair
For you to compare
Yours are bigger than mine

It’s not fair
For you to say
That I didn’t work harder
It’s not fair
For you to alleged
I didn’t bear
Much burden
It’s not fair
For you to say
That my struggle
Is lighter
That my nights
A longer
And my days
Are brighter

It’s not fair
To stated
That yours
Are bigger than mine

I put equal hardship
I put extra effort
I hold a bigger role
I’m the runner
Of the family
I ran day and night
Double capacity
Not a single
Sweat I complained
For the things
I would do
For family

It’s not fair
To confirm
That yours
Are bigger than mine

I struggle too
I get depressed too
I'm working too
I even do the chores
I didn't rest
I didn't whine
I didn't rebel
I even made it
As part of my shrine

It’s not fair
To validate
That yours
Are bigger than mine

I'm back to square one
People would say
That I'm stupid
That I'm reckless
I keep going to that
Similar path
Recreating the same mistake
But I can't say that
It’s a mistake -
It was once a decision
A decision once made
Out of love

Then why would
You say that
I'm stupid
That I'm reckless
Don’t you went
Through the same
Journey?
Don’t you once fall
For the same reason?
That once you loved;
You loved wholeheartedly
Despite the bad
That he had
***** all that
You still love that brat

And the thing
About loving is -
Specifically me that is
I always love more
I always give more
I always suffice more
As if I was born
To do so
Unconditionally
Unrealistically
Undying
Unlikely

But even so
I always end up
Draining
Drowning
Space out
Left out
Wondering
Worrying
And always
Sighing
Crying
Fortifying

And when
The heart
Mends itself
I'll still fall in love
As much back then
Even with the broken pieces
That twined inside unreleased
I’d do the same
All over again
And love as much
Always all out
Without a doubt

I am an intruder
I didn’t know
The room was occupied
You should have
Put on a ‘don’t disturb’ sign
Not a ‘clean me up’ hint

I’m sorry for hogging
I didn’t know
It was meant for sharing
But I didn’t want to share;
It’s either mine or nothing at all
I didn’t want to dwell with the affair

I am an intruder
No matter what you say
I know I’m not
Playing fair
Wishing for a perfect play
It was all delusional snares

Can you un-do?
These shattered glasses
The pieces of impossible fractions
Glued together
As you push the button
‘rewind’
Convince the larva
Is melted

Can you un-sing?
This excruciating melody
Stings in the heart
Leaving no mercy
Like slitting my wrist
Letting me die
Wither and fail

Can you un-kiss?
This haunting taste
Lingering at night
Followed with your sight
This burning tear
Dismantling my fear
Of wanting you near
Such impossible sphere

The heart speaks louder than words
Blaming lips that unable to sort
For feelings, you thought you couldn’t afford
With no guilt – it slips without effort

The heart speaks louder, unguarded
And merely words left to unfold
Surpassing the moment of self-loathe
When it’s spoken louder than words

The feeling inside
Are hard to describe
And the words relate
Aren’t align – side by side
Whenever I feel like to hide
Somehow I hope this feeling subside
But then again the heart starts to scream
Exploding with feelings in reams of hints

With pen and paper
I start to offer
Mutual feelings and agreements
Of what truly meant
What heart couldn’t understand?
Rather let it explode
This pen will draw the rightful road
When the heart speaks louder
This pen will run you over