I thought we could all be a choir of insecure teenagers pretending nothing is wrong when in our heads it is all wrong.
I sang the blues and danced in the hallways of the school, but my only applause was
pointing fingers and laughter.
I knew that if I ruled the world, I would have everyone sit in a circle and just
say it the way their young mind wants them to.
If I was queen of the drama I would say to scream the worst of the worst profanity,
get in the center of the tile floor as if it is your stage,
vent, spread your arms apart as your fingers leave inches of space,
and cry for all to see.
Never would I let anyone go back to the same person at the same time of day.
We would pick someone new and together we would learn through conversation that there is power when meeting a stranger. To all I was one.
Talking to yourself will no longer be a crime, and I would make it ok for
everyone to jump up and down, say something wrong, and shrug to any words that
are worth the outrageous reaction.
Never make fun of me for all that I do at any moment at any time.
I knew I would never rule the world at age thirteen as stress was lit like a match and flames of tears and a lying face would burn all over me.
The scar burns and ashes have melted away and I can smile again,
and when the phoenix flies by so high and visible,
every tic stops for a moment as I am detained by graceful vision.
I am alive today carrying but not devoting the way I see myself that has made me stronger, and not only a woman with bravery,
but a teacher with lessons of respect.
Now class,
you can’t control the rest of the students,
but be kind to yourself first,
never punish yourself for your flaws,
and see how compassion and love
brings you to believe
in your own
strength.
We can’t all have the same spirit inside,
but we can let it outside of ourselves to
show we belong together as a world.
Class dismissed,
now your homework tonight
is to read yourself and write a paper
about all the things you love about
who you are, not anybody else.
You won’t be graded,
this is all for
you.

I can’t carry you on my back anymore.

I don’t see why you sleep on my couch when you want
to leave so badly you could cry.

I never understood why I became your burden of hell.

I see no reason for you to feel bad.

Just build some self-esteem,

walk in the woods,

pack a granola bar and water,

and look back at your tracks.

I may not be with you but I know it’s what you
want and cannot have.

It’s your life,
and I am not the one who takes things
away from you.

You let it be no part of you and you strip it from
me.

Take a hike,
smell the air,
get mud on your shoes,
and track it all over the floor
of your own home.

Would you need it so bad you leave one
to sit and stare at you all night?
Would you have your guitar handed to you
as I carry mine in a heavy black case?
Can you carry a tradition of a summer night
sing along and not have it all to yourself?
What a shame,
that such an occasion,
was sold to you and bought by your
soul.
A soul on what they fawn over and
poetry is written about your voice.
Your voice, the songs you play,
I heard it all before, and I heard it enough
to know you as desperate.
Stop making it about you, and
let us shine together all of us in the cool
summer night air.
Slapping every mosquito and sipping
champagne, just share something
for once.

When I am old I expect nobody to sit and have tea with me
who once saw me as young and cared to show me an old
picture.
When I am fifty I will wake up alone and tuck my mother and
father in bed at night where they once did to me years ago.
When I am thirty I will return my wedding gown after another
bipolar episode he just won’t take it anymore.

I am now twenty, and I have years to live and improve
myself,
my spirit,
my life.

Who knows where I will be? Maybe I will be digging in the dirt
at a farm or perhaps riding the elevator in a big
skyscraper.
Let the past shape me and form me into what I wanted and not
what they wanted.
Forgive myself for my mistakes, and never take away my own
chances.

I see my future from a glance but I don’t know everything and never
will.
I can’t predict nor can I control the universe along with the time.
Let the clock tick and just have fun with the running out.
Walk with arms wide open and have the patience to find what we
visualize.
Let visuals be toys and consequences be keys to unlocking new and
proper opportunities.
Love what you have and are and never beg for more.
Good things come to those who do not get on their knees for the sake of
getting.
Learning and saying “I don’t know” is the key to knowing and the process of
giving.
Give and get, live and learn, never take the present moment for granted, and
understand the misunderstood.
It’s not about having it all, it’s about
learning from it.

This has been locked inside me
for far too long.
It's coming out unleashed
despite if I'm wrong.
Better now than never
these thoughts are never gone.
The top of my lungs have
me winded, my voice leads
everyone to know I
belong.

I stand,
I stare,
at the other folks
making their jokes.
I hear them,
I compare to my view,
it's entitled and here,
I scream out loud
"**** that fear!"
It's time to learn and
listen as we
hear.

Right now I am breaking my writers block.
My page is incomplete without another piece written
about someone special like you.
The first time you asked to hold my hand I sensed hesitation
in you and felt fear in me.
I pressed against your shoulder and all my fears ceased within
me.
I felt your touch how you wanted to protect me from the horror
you became my beautiful sight.
Not knowing you brought fear of having you and getting to know you
was the graving of the bumps in the desert how they would never
stop us from getting to where we want to be.
I want to be with you,
I want to share these feelings with you.
I want to have a nice poem about you.
Here it is, and here we are.
Look what you have done,
bringing me and you into a
better world to see and live.
No fawn is ever taken for granted, and no mistake is ever frowned upon.
I’ve warmed up enough, and I saved the time I write this for the perfect night.
Tonight was magnificent, and that is what my life
is becoming thanks to
you.