Can you whistle into the glass seltzer
bottle in your hand so I can at least
hear something that is not human
voice?
As voices grow louder and are stripped
of melody and harmony,
all we hear is
lash of the
tiger.
Sound of roar and just can’t
seem to find the right words.
Maybe a spoon being tapped to a jar
would be a good start,
and we could take a bag of noodles
and shake it a little.
Just by creating sound of what we are given
in a peaceful way so we don’t hear
anger within a voice.
I cannot hear one yell without needing
to scream out frustration.
If you ever see me on the rooftops,
my guitar will do the shouting for me.
We need music in our lives.
Let it overtake the pain in your head
as it travels in your veins.
Learn from it,
and never scream
around me
again.

I don’t normally do this,
but tonight I lived the dream I
followed since age thirteen.
We laughed together, played videogames,
and I didn’t even care the room was tiny as
a cube.
Though I sat in silence I was seeing the moment
and ****** of who I will write checks with
and the people who will never be phased by
anything in my head.
Tonight I was happy I put down the knife or scissors
every time I decided to take it myself.
Tonight I thanked my mother who would lay beside me at night
and hear my every cry about being mimicked and mocked.
Tonight I thought of my dad who took time to buy tickets and
put up with my intense cheering as the Bruins won the game.
I thanked my brother tonight for spending time with me and blasting
hip hop in the car when nobody else would for either of us.
Though tonight,
I let my family do their own thing.
I kept them in mind and remembered every lesson they learned then passed
onto me about how to have a problem but to put it on the back burner
while with others and to fulfill their comfort.
I went out tonight.
These are people whom I want to walk this world and praise the lord
they are here and living the way they do.
Because tonight I shared moments of life with them.
I’m the luckiest woman on earth,
Thanks for the fun we had tonight, my beloved friends.
We’ll do this again, I don’t think it,
I know it.

As we gathered at the wooden table with grilled fish and cokes at your beautiful summer home,
you had the perfect opportunity to take the crazy things I would say and use them as your last chance to make your mom proud by doing the right thing.
When we would lay our towels down on the grains of sand where we would always park,
you were so afraid I would ask to join you and your friends in a game of football.
That was your great chance to show them how cool you were by yelling no at me and using your hand to motion me to stay at my towel when I did ask.
We returned from seeing you and how angry I was that I had nothing to the point of your smarts, independence, and humor.
During the off season I would go to school and play games of softball.
I didn't get the grades you had and I didn't swing the bat as beautifully as you.
Though there was one thing I always did that you see now.
I let myself learn.
I never stooped to be you but I learned how to interact and watch what I say.
I learned you never were close to me and it is ok to be alone.
I learned to not overdress so much to prove I had it all.
I learned that you had your talents and people, and I had my problems and meltdowns and then I learned to take the chance and improve.
You changed slightly, I changed magnificently.
You called other girls pretty right in my view now my prettiness completely overwhelms your view.
Ha, but that is not all.
I used to make you cringe you would be bossy, now I make you laugh so hard at my jokes you're red and bent over.
So, we grew, and time change dramatically.
You saw me then, I saw you were sneaking some brownie points.
See me now, and I see you are so proud of me.
I'm happy you're happy, but all I really want as I did before from you,
is to be treated the same as anyone else you care for.
You don't have to be so proud of me.
I'm fine now.

I let you in my room and didn't ask to lay in my bed,
I let you walk with me to the cafe and treat us to a drink,
I let you hold and play some notes on my guitar,
I even let you change your mind and then rethink.
You have vanished from my life
I was clear that I didn't want you to
be gone.
Ever since I sent those letters,
I expected to hear, "never mind, I love you"
but instead I heard,
"so long".
You are harder than ever to replace,
I will breakdown and plead if I ever again see your handsome prince-like face,
I have to put new strings on my guitar they are oh so old.
But I know if I keep the string you played and made a sound,
it is too late because your soul is already again replaced and
sold.
There is someone new in your life I can just tell,
I'm pushing my mind to be happy and not think of losing you as
hell.
There were stories I never repeat but to you I had a show and tell,
well this is great, I'm living with something, and you are in a bed of roses
ever since you gave me your
farewell.
I'll never forget,
I only regret,
not learning before
loving.
So long, farewell, I miss your laughing,
to me you're a great model but to you I'm
worth slapping.
You wanted me for my face,
now I'm glad she took my place.
So, yeah,
bye.