I was told at a young age
that men hate profanity when used
by women.
It is unattractive,
and they can swear all they want because
they are guys.
I was told at a young age
to sit in the corner for saying
‘Hell’.
What the ****?
I was told at an older age
that it is offensive.
Profanity is offensive
when we are not using
it.
When we use it,
we feel better.
When we don’t use it,
we feel threatened.
Threatening is just
warning one to stop when
we know they won’t.
Walking down the street
on my way to the agora,
strangers tell strangers
to watch the language.
Profanity will either
please the crowd or
destroy a beautiful
situation.
Sorry,
I didn’t see the kids before I dropped something with
an F.
Not trying to teach them wrong
but I don’t want to learn from those
who try and threaten me.
Competing
over the role of the
wise one.
Lets just not say
anything.

Don’t be frightened,
my eyes are just red for only
a moment.
Don’t be concerned,
anyone can feel this way.
Don’t follow me,
I can handle this on my own
you better not dare take my
hand.
Don’t critique me,
I am here for the same reason.
Don’t say I’m different.
That is not how I define myself.
Close the dictionary immediately after
reading.
Drill the words in your head and let them
out fast enough
to understand
you don’t know everything.
Don’t guess,
I hold the answer.
Don’t judge,
it is all poor.
Don’t backstab me,
I already survived that abuse.
Don’t bully me,
it will not make me any less different.
Sticks and stones are not the reason
I have broken bones,
names are not the reason I am strong.
My adrenaline pours onto the concrete,
blood all around my wrists and ankles.
Your power does not provide any upbringing
in your life.
It is not names that don’t hurt me it is
Your attitude.
Keep it up,
I’m not going anywhere.
Now stop it.

I dreamed last night I was visiting a house
of people around my age in the city overlooking
the highway.
We were laughing, drinking, and running around
as if nothing wrong could happen.
I cried in the dream because I wanted to stay forever.
I woke up with a broken heart and little excitement.
I love who I am around but my habits are nothing of
the common interest.
I will propose so many great things but it is humor that is
taken.
The places I want to travel with you and the beer I want to
drink with you may be just me all alone when accomplished.
Apologies have been given and received, though
I am now with people who I am comfortable and care about.
I was before, though I can’t make them stay.
I am pretty ragged and funny while my mouth speaks of
obscenity.
You know my mind has some rough spots and I try to remain calm.
If I change what I can and own my bad behavior,
will you stay?
I’ve learned about mysterious worlds and buildings of a
character.
You guys know all the words to my favorite songs.
You know my stories of victimization and trauma how
your responses meant so much after sharing what was
hard.
We may not take place in a city at night in one house together,
though when I meet you at our designated places such as
our dinner time or meetings,
I feel at home with a family
of love.

Even if I find myself driving away
in a car all by myself breaking every law
and practically flying,
I am doing what I want right now.
I am home, I am safe, I am
loved no matter my flaws.
I pull out of the driveway and onto
the road.
This is how I party.
By myself, stopping for small bits of food,
and playing whatever song at the highest volume.
Before I was home I was in pain.
I suffered holding in every breath that meant
need.
I fought back tears as I walked where my flooding
eyes would be noticed.
I smiled and said I was good whenever the
‘how are you’ questioned bulleted in me.
I would have said,
‘homesick, not even a care that I am used to this place
away from home’.
Here at home I am forgiven no matter what I break and
loved no matter what forsaken move I make.
I’m breathing normally, and I am not worried
about who is out to hurt me.
I don’t hurt back,
I reassure my senses and nobody says I can’t
go home.
This is my real home.

A phone call is something I jump to
within excitement of being reached.
This one is serious,
and  my voice cracks as I say good bye
and hang up.
I always said It would be better
if my existence faded.
The news tells me I am important.
There are things to be dealt with and
possible consequences and changes to be faced.
Not every change is a consequence,
not all news is bad,
not all thoughts of dying are true
until you learn
it could be real.
It is hard when this is the end.
Don’t even want to think about a new
beginning.

Abracadabra,
alakazoo,
set your heart
on a dream,
Shazam!
It comes true.
Do the trick on
you own
work hard all
day and all
night.
Life is magically
going just right.