I would never go back to our days of love and redo it all.
Such fun turned to such unfortunate episodes.
They came for us just wanted to tear us apart.
I would lie in bed with the sun beaming through the window, just Couldn't push through another day.
You would say you were going to marry me.
I couldn't bear to question that.
Then I remember who you introduced me to.
Your friends I loved so much wanted to have them as much as I wanted to have you.
Driving in a car at night barely following the speed limit.
I never wanted to go home.
Years later I am home and you and me are done.
I now don't know you anymore.
You've changed as well as me.
So do people, so does life.
The right thing doesn't last forever.
We most certainly didn't.
You never even showed me a ring.
It was ten months.
When it comes to love,
Know the
Speed limit.

So many people
All problems collide.
So many problems
All people decide.
Whose business it is
To get involved.
Do you really think
Your world is revolved?
Over their baggage,
Over their mentality?
This is not your concern
Focus on your own **** reality.
You don't own,
Your're not needed.
Know your limits
And know when to leave it.
When you are in need
To help a friend with greed.
Tell them their importance and the truth.
Forget what the others think and people who are rude.
We are all just as important.
Not needing, just aware.
Don't be their mother,
Just let them know you really care.
Friends aren't in the role to admonish and reprimand.
Role of a friend is to give time to be there,
And a helping hand.

I notice how hard you've been trying to be better than me.
You glare at me and smile when you're with a man.
You snake eye me when I'm walking by.
I left you for a reason.
Protection is first, your man is second.
If you want to hear me shout out my jealousy for you having a man while I don't.
There is no
jealousy.
See how I'm the one in
control?

I'm not miserable that you're not here anymore.
I am in despair that I am and always was the bad guy.
I ruined our chance to be friends.
I hurt you and scared you.
I came off as someone I'm not.
I lose my perception and my self esteem whenever I see you.
What now, I blind myself?
I am already blinded by your not being around anymore.

I want to know how you are.
I want to hear your honesty as it was always reserved for me.
I miss your responses.
Every message bubble made me feel tickled.
I remember you picked me up and spun me around I had never
experienced such a feeling.

Then they were shattered and hurt you said it wasn't there.
I thought it was.
You told me how you cared but I stupidly let myself go.
We didn't know how to act or what to say.
Now I've changed and grown.
I cannot beg for another chance, I cannot keep trying to talk to you anymore.
I can only grow some more so I don't ruin anything ever again.
It may or may not be over.
We were greatly overwhelmed by one another.
We are different.
We are disputable.

Like I said in tears  before you walked out on my command.
Only because I knew it would happen on behalf of my baggage.
I just don't want either you or me
to be
gone.
Still I believe I will do my part if you ask.
Will you give me another chance?

Having what the world avoids meets the
equality of
owning what we need to let go and pretend to
not have.
I couldn't disown anything even if I tried.
I cry at night thinking of how I should meet your needs.
Don't look at me.
Why would you watch my eyes wander in
matter of seconds?
Why would you watch me sit alone and fly
my hands for hours?
Why would you try to estimate the swinging
of my legs in the matter of minutes?
Both you and i
don't even have
to try.
I own what I have unintentionally.
Just get over it.

Im on the verge to drop off the face of the earth.
I understand I have gone from fun to overwhelming,
From laughing to crying,
Strong to obese,
Living life and writing my next steps to
Sitting alone in a dark room writing my suicidal note.
I have ****** up everything I wanted
I have destroyed my reputation.
Maybe you'll look at me from the corner of your eye.
I'm not going to hurt, I'm not putting you to shame.
These pills I take these appointments I make
I can't tell you everything and explain all that is private.
I'm not going to persist in not going to insist.
These poems I write my teeth I bite
Make good people run away.
Come back!
Don't go.
Just listen.
Please don't leave me here.
I'd tell you in detail.
But even
I don't
Always know.
If I ever catch you at the corner of my eye.
My heart may stop my mouth may drop.
I'll hope you will understand that was then this is now.
We don't know if it will still be right.
Don't think of yourself as doing service or tolerating.
Think of yourself as the greatest.
Reaching out means so much.
The conversations we have I love to make you laugh.
At the corner of your eye,
See I don't only change I improve.
Not for your benefit, but for the love and a good relationship.
At the corner of my eye, I see you looking at me from yours.
No tears, no smile, just happy you see I'm on the face of the earth my complete choice.
I don't need you I just know you.
Very swell indeed to remember happy times I got to share and I get to recall.
They motivate me to keep calm and to stay on the face of the earth.
Things get better **** doesn't last forever.
At the corner of my eye,
I see a beautiful place that even has a spot for me.

What you see
is nothing compared.
To what I
think,
feel,
and
own.