When a change in habit is needed in life,
seems that Alone is the best feeling and
Isolation is the best place to be.
Can't keep looking back and thinking,
"What Have I done?"
"What a fool I was!"
Preach no more.
Just keep the mouth shut.
It's in the past.
My being open makes good people come and
go.
Far too fast.
Right doesn't always remain,
wrong fades away after more in life comes to
distract us from the past.
Nothing stays the same.
Sorry old habit, I'll have to leave you
behind.
I let you own me,
now I must remember only I own myself.
Preach to myself for now on.
They don't have to know everything about
me.

Water pouring innocently
while soap melts within dissolving form,
hands and arms ***** and colored
need not,
to show,
self harm.
I don't have to be naked
to wash off my mess that reflects on my body.
Rubbing my hands together emphasizes
the replacing of my troubles with happy thoughts.
Splashing water on my face,
I look in the mirror and see a pretty girl.
She makes mistakes,
she paints the wrong picture.
She draws with markers on her arm.
Guilt
spreads down to her heart.
Washing with water and soap removes the
image of her current mistake.
Soap and water sink into the pores.
Away goes the color.
Washing away mistakes on the skin is as
letting go of the past.
Learn from it,
and be sure to keep it clean.
:)

What I deal with may not be right for you,
surprising how fast this relationship flew.
By and by,
I said too much,
I couldn't lie.

Persistence wasn't the right tool,
I won't label either of us the fool.
Time,
carries on,
in some cases, it's wrong.

Though I showed I couldn't really let you go,
there is one thing I need you to know.
I learned so much from you,
I use your lessons today, it's true.

Absence from me may have been best,
for now on I don't bleed through my chest.
My heart is beating fine.
It's ok if you don't want to be mine.

Forget all the bad pictures I frequently drew,
I want you to know that I was happy
at the time to have you.
My trust followed through in you.

Your care may not have lasted long,
I'll think of you even if you are gone.
There was a time it was true.
It may be over,
but I still want to say
Thank You.

Don't ever look at children as props of joy.
Never forget their feelings.
Don't be blind.
You can see it in their eyes.
Your own child is your first treasure.
They taught you so much prior to losing the love
to whom you signed the contract.
Removal of the ring on your finger
does not erase the memory of your baby
clutching your index.
Finding new love and holding another child
is not going to make you any older.
Children are smart.
They become bewildered and perplexed by parents
behaving like hypocrites.
Then they know to not raise their voices.
Small but brave they are.
You will laugh at their bad behavior in the future,
but you won't be laughing as they have cuts on their wrists
after seeing you with your
other set of
kids.
It't too late.
Divorce can lead to disaster.
We're allowed to love again,
we're not allowed to leave the ones in our family who come
first.
Remember the baby that was legitimately your own who you held in
your arms for the first time.
They matter more.

I'm not a mess,
Just full of stress.
Make it stop
turning me
Into a person
I am
Not.
Unusual behavior,
Can't hold the breakdown
Any later.

What a fool I was all those years.
I should have followed my heart and faced my fears.
Paranoid of being alone with no one to help me along,
I followed your footsteps.
Mine are now gone.
I should have followed my heart and let you all be.
I never should have approached you.
You were never right for me.
Take back the invitations and hugs how they came so rare.
How stupid of me to persist and show that I care!
Now I'm gone and your lives are empty with sigh.
Don't bother to persuade me the friendship was never a living lie.
I'm the one smiling with friends so close.
I learned from your rolling eyes to be careful before giving the rose.
I saw the petals in a mess on the tile floor.
I will never beg to accept like I did before.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I am happy I no longer hang out with all of you.
So come what may,
The roses die anyway.

It's not easy being out of the picture I stood in with all of you,
But It's easier than trying to fit in the group.
I didn't give up,
I took myself out of misery.
As I look back my pride overrules my anger.
There were so many times we came together,
I remember very little good.
the picture is now a group of skinny girls and young looking men posing so sexually and rudely.
I was the one taking the photos most of the time.
Though I learned when not to persist,
All I have to say to all of you is,
Thanks.
For absolutely nothing.
I can now call my friends friends.
And they are not the backstabbing type,
They are the fun loving type.