My soul is a mystery.
I don't recognise what I am, what I do.
Does somebody control me?
Why can't I just act as I want, and do what I want?
Why do I have these handcuffs on my hands, tight.
I want to free as a bird, fly across the world. With control ove rmy own soul.
But my anxiety, the fear. It takes control.
And I live in my bubble. With someone else in control over my soul.

I have an issue.
Im an addict. No, not to any thing illegal or alchol.
But Im an addict to run away from the reality.
To watch my movies and tv shows, is like a portal to a total different world.
Where I live many lives. I have other problems. And the reality is on pause.

Where I can breath out, and just be another me.
Where all my problems are washed away.
I tell people is like dreaming with open eyes.
And it is really something magical.
When I see through the screen someone drowning, I hold my breath.
I live in the screen. Im an addict to the thousands lives out there.
I just want to feel, experience something without being so afraid all the time..

So yeah call me an addict if you want.
But its what keeping me alive.

You may think Im perfect. Thats far away from the truth.
All those nights you thought I was hanging with friends or was at a party.
When the reality was I was alone in my bedroom.
In the corner. By myself. All alone.
So lonley it could be.
Tears was running down my chin, it was black spots all over my pillow.
My pillow looked like a spotted art. But my heart was crushed in pieces.
My eyes, was almost closed. I felt the pain, as I were holding down my scream.
My scream, who could relase all these emotians.
Im not perfect. Im just very good at acting.

In the classroom, every noise, every sound just dissepear.
When I get that look. That look on something, and my thoughts wander around in my brain. Thinking about everything and nothing at the same.

That look, who cancel all sound. I dissepear in my own world, and loose control over my reality. What did you say teacher? I could'nt hear you.

I got that look. I dozed off in to wonderland. I came home, with wonderful ideas, but I could'nt care less about your math.

A guy stare out in to the open sky.
Back at him shines the statrs and a whole galaxy.
He wonder.
Thoughts that he thinks are weird.
Why am I here?
What is my purpose?
Cant the universe just give me a sign?
Im lost between what my parents think I should do and what I think I want my purpose to be.
So what?
Help me.
A desperate silent scream about help goes out deep in outer space.

But no answer.

She is trapped inside her own shell.
Want's to come out, but it feels impossible.
Why does it have to be like this, its not fair.
All the other people has cracked their shells, and now living their life.

So why cant she?

Maybe she is too afraid, to she how the real reality is really like.
She has only listen till the rumours about how these and that is.
Is it true or false?
Well she has to come out of her own little cocoon to find out, doesnt she?

She takes a deep breath, and block all the rumours out.
From now on, she is only gonna trust on her own judgement, and no one else.
And then, she burst out of the shell and...
Finally open her eyes wide open till the holy truth.

I look in the mirror everyday.
I beginning to forget how Im suppose to look.
Is this really me?
Im I different than yesterday?
I look deeply in my confused eyes.
They glance back at me, I see my soul staring back.
And I think to myself, that everybody else know who they are.
But not me. Im a lost case, a person who don't know what it dislike and likes.
Im just an empty soul, flying in a silent wind past your window.