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Jan 2014 · 521
i have a colour
i'd bet i often have a colour,
and often more beneath a cover,
not so much to deceive but to avoid,
that i must not with every man or woman that come by
address that which causes me to behave as a chameleon
nor specifically to you yourself, for you are the cause of this particular hue,
this mix of reds, purples, greens, yellows and blue,
spotted like scales upon my skin,
so well enough veiled across me that i cannot see myself for the veil
nor answer my questions for the answer themselves
or the questions
When you give one rib for every woman you ever love
Eventually all you have left is your spine.
I don’t know whether to forget this and brush it aside
Or to just say I am tired and continue to let it lie
I guess I’ll find out what I’m made of
What today shall come to light?
What shall break and what shall bite?
What shall mend or what shall fall,
what shall rise, and what shall call?
Today will illuminate,
whether it obliterate or masticate,
whether it heal or whether it fly,
whether it fall, or whether it beckon,
in much, today, the light shall reckon.
today shall reveal much. in some sense it shall test. what she holds still, and what she has cast away. How true our friendship was, if it is here to stay, if she would take arms against me purposefully, or if she would know, and avoid it out of love for me.
Jan 2014 · 628
rock-steady
I have been at rock bottom
the beauty of it  is that it was there
that i found the rock
the one i can stand on
i can't fall any lower
i wiped the slate clean
i prioritized my lovers
he picked up the pieces
rebuilt my heart from the rubble
filled the cracks with cement
he said what he meant
and he meant what he said
my heart is alive
and not just my head,
he is everything to me,
that i couldn't feel when i was dead.
he is rock steady
and i want to rock steadily
heading where he sends me readily
i can't wait to live the things he's imagining
I mean, he had the audacity (thankfully)
to imagine me.
he loves me incredibly
this ground is so solid
there is nothing to discredit me
rock, steady. rock steadily.
Ben:drop the hammer
i wiped the slate clean. i hit delete.
Jan 2014 · 282
can't tell, don't know
I can't tell if this is a new wound or an old one
i can't tell if these are lies or if i told them
i can't tell if the sky is blue or green
i can't tell what i do or do not mean
i cannot tell that i cannot tell
i must have let it slip
i do not know that i do not know
oh now i do, oh ****.
Jan 2014 · 760
I felt like the sea
I felt like the sea.
waves of emotion, turned,
tides inside of me.
Shells scattered shores and hid beneath the waves,
yells, and places torn, and water beaten caves,
salt tears overflowed from places in the deep,
my blood still swam through me, despite  my slight heart beat,
i buried inside the crimes,
bodies lay where i lay, as i killed from time to time
but loved i also many, though many were not mine
I felt like the sea, powerful, and powerless,
i ever run and ever rest,
waters violent in my chest
i suffocate and became escape
a place where deep trenches hide deeper dreams
and some have become nightmares afraid of what they mean
I felt like the sea.
Jan 2014 · 389
i could taste the salt
I finally got up
out of bed
to wash my face and get a drink
my throat was dry
i couldn;t think
i could taste the salt that ran down my face
my eyes, sea green
perhaps to reflect the turbulent waters beneath
I felt like the sea.
Jan 2014 · 427
they were too heavy
she said she didn't mind hanging out
we had had plans
and then we had an argument
and so when she just "didn't mind"
i sure as hell did. it hurt. made me angry.
so i was trying to avoid her.
and i ran into her.
she came over to me - hugged me. said hello.
then she started avoiding me the very same day.
i wonder if for her that moment snapped something.
i wonder if she could even tell that i was in the middle of a panic attack
i wonder if she could tell that not only could i barely breathe when i hugged her
but that i choked back hot tears
only mostly successfully
a few leaked out
they were too heavy
Jan 2014 · 346
ill take what i can get
when all the emotions settle to the floor of my chest
it is then that i tire to take another breath
it feels like a chore to draw just one more
i had no idea that i had given you this power
and now, because of how i hurt you, how i did away with everything
how i had a hell of a way of showing that youve been a blessing to me and i love you
you cant even tell me what i am to you
but im **** sure not your friend
i wish i was
but friendship isnt currently an option
ill take what i can get
whatever that is
and right now thats silence again
Jan 2014 · 338
ghost
I've already thought about taking all the pictures down.
but i keep them up so i'll have to feel each stab
of regret at my ignorance and my explosion
if only i had known what i know now then
maybe i could have saved this
maybe i could have avoided being the man who hurt you the most.
now all i am is a ghost.
I hang on every second
for even a sliver of perspective
a word, anything to tie me to you
something to say that i haven't lost you
a look even,
my chest feels like it's got a boulder on it
my hands are shaking
every time i hear the sound of a message
i secretly hope its you
i gave my roomate all my knives and sharp things to hide
no more scissors in the bathroom
that spare compass somewhere put away
i swear my remarks were never meant to cut you
and knowing that i did, how bad i hurt you
makes me feel like i deserve those slices
a few too many pills
the exploration of an artery
but i told you id change
that id be a different man
that i was overcoming
that i put the knife away
along with the ****
and i'm trying
i'm fighting
i'm tired
but i'm not done til i lay down
i'm not giving up on this
even though friendship is not an option right now
again, that one with the chemicals.
Jan 2014 · 396
I might tell you I'm okay
When you ask me how I am doing, I might say I'm doing okay, or fine,
I might reply with an eh, or a meh,
But there's a lot of thought and question when you ask me
Because a lot of the time I don't know what okay means anymore
I might shrug and avoid your question because i don't want to lie
I might hide behind an "i'm making it" or an "i'm doing"
Those usually get me off the hook pretty easily.
What i will not do it tell you that I am fantastic when I am struggling each moment.
I will not lie to you.
So when you ask me how I'm doing, what I say will probably depend on how open i feel that day . It will probably depend on how much i can handle thinking about everything that's going on. How much i can share without breaking down in public. There is a lot that goes into keeping even a sort of smile on this face.
Don't ask unless you care, truly care, and don't judge me until you've been in my place.
I din't tell you to read my ****
never wanted to make you feel bad for it
split myself opened up blood and veins, transparent on pages
saw you quote song lyrics like they were designed to spit in peoples faces
maybe you meant me, and maybe ya didn't. i aint mad if it wasn't me
but it's ******* for me to fake it and this is where i'm freest to be me,
so if it's here that makes you say
"never underestimate a man's ability to make you feel guilty for his mistakes"
well look in a mirror and don't be like that man who forgets his own face
face it, i'm not the only one who's made mistakes.
I love you, now let's move on from this place,
together,
i hate the silence and the distance
and the slightest semblance, the bleakest resemblance
to what we might have had, or thought we did,
to what we swore to when we said we accepted all the **** that comes with each other
why are we acting  like this when we were almost, maybe, sort of, lovers?
when we're friends,
the rare kind,
that come once,
maybe twice if you're lucky three times
in a lifetime,  
(all different of course)

I am tired.
I am sore.
I miss you.
Let us rest together, if only a moment more. . .
that one with the chemicals.
Tonight, and maybe again tomorrow,
i am going to pretend you're a memory
that somehow i could never touch or see you again
(and if i happen to, i'll overlay the sight with both a smile and a frown, maybe a grimace)
(turn quickly away and pretend that i can handle this)

I wonder if she knows how close i have become
to becoming just a memory
to never touching or seeing her again
(if she happens to, understand that I've nearly disappeared)
(laid a blade to my bare skin again a hundred times)
(if only in my mind)
Darkness cannot drive out light
what then happens when i shut my eyes?
when i spin into my head with clouds become sight,
and the whispers in my head are the most convincing lies,
what happens when i say I'm all right
when that's the last thing i could manage to be tonight
what happens when i let the red spring up from my soul and  sheathe down my arm
what happens when i embrace all the things that keep leaving me scarred?
The darkness wins, the light is out of breath,
the shaking, breaking,
leaves eyes leaking,
raw lines raking
my heart deep in me
the darkness drives out the light

i need emptiness for light to fill
so empty me and shine i will
I tried to draw you but i could never do it justice.
I just couldn't record your perfect sadness.
Nor the smile that wouldn't crack through that day
I couldn't etch this paper with the outlines of your face.
Those outlines i traced a thousand times that night.
with my eyes.
trying to make sense of them.
You told me i couldn't change them.
And somehow i knew it before you spoke.
It weren't that the edges of your face were broken.
They could never be.
Not ones so beautiful as those.
Sure, you have your little imperfections -
your hair falls oddly, sometimes,
the small dot on your nose,
divots around your mouth when you frown-
but i love you with them.
And even think most of them are beautiful.
Though i never could bring myself to like those divots.  . .
I guess because i never liked it when you frowned.
You'd tell me i needed  more than luck to cheer you up,
but that didn't change the way my heart wanted to make you smile.
I can recall only rare occasions when i did not have that desire,
even those were just occasions it was underneath another emotion,
a darker one, a heavier one i'd trade away any day to make you happy.
I knew i loved you that night.
It made me ask some hard questions.
Are we bad for each other?
Should i hate myself for this-
for what i do to her?
Not if you were worth it - but if i could stand it to stick around
but that answer didn't matter,
I'd do it even if i couldn't take it.
there are two,
double, double,
me and you, standards look both ways
even when we are blind,
words meant to tell the truth and soften scars
only deeper grind
the salt into the wounds,
double double, there are two,
look at me and you.
I hope this changes soon.
Jan 2014 · 664
a nightmare???
They were crawling on me
I couldn't breathe
their claws clung to my covers
i was stiff
unable to move,
i forced a single breath into my lungs, and snapped to,
and they were gone,
but what were they?
Jan 2014 · 457
a nightmare???
They were crawling on me
I couldn't breathe
their claws clung to my covers
i was stiff
unable to move,
i forced a single breath into my lungs, and snapped to,
and they were gone,
but what were they?
Jan 2014 · 415
a nightmare???
They were crawling on me
I couldn't breathe
their claws clung to my covers
i was stiff
unable to move,
i forced a single breath into my lungs, and snapped to,
and they were gone,
but what were they?
Jan 2014 · 1.5k
Weaver,(tsuola)
weaver, weep for me,
i am a seeker, wandering,
in the bonds of freedom,
trying to find the way to be free,
i need you, weaver weep for me

weaver, weep for me
i am weary, i need sleep tonight
eyes blurred by what's before them, restore my sight
cleanse my eyes with tears,
wash my eyes clean
weaver, do not weep, but sing.

weaver, sing for me,
the songs you write, the dreams you weave for me,
i am not lost tonight, nor am i alone
my feet fall in your light, as white as bone
weaver, with you, i am not alone

weaver ,wait for me
I am traveling slow,
I don't know which way my feet will take me,
but where they do, I go,
weaver wait for me,
at the end of the tapestry,
weaver wait for me til dawn.

weaver, skies I've seen have worshipped thee,
the dawn has risen, the earth has shifted
the clouds have formed to clear our vision,
weaver mountains deep have bowed before thee,
weaver, may i meet you there this morning
And here I am, and there i went,
but i didn't take a single step,
i stood here fighting the urge to chase you
as you shrank to a picturesque twinkle in the distance
not thinking "what use is this"? but
"if this is what she wants, this is what she gets".
Jan 2014 · 257
when you love
Hurt is inevitable.
Especially when you love.
And i do, with everything i have.
Jan 2014 · 532
catalyst
you make me wanna do stupid things
in all the right ways
you make me wanna touch you,
you alter my brain
i get lost in the reaction
you're the catalyst
there are cracks in the flask and
our chemicals seep deep into everything they touch
lets find out if this makes us hot or cold...
Jan 2014 · 391
I wonder the kind of hope
there is hope for you yet
said with a bit of jest, undercoated with a mite of seriousness
I wonder what kind of hope she meant
affections ,reflections of each other
columns in a cavern of glass
a room of mirrors
edges gracefully traced in my mind
each as much a picture of what i feel as the next
I begrudge no mirror what it reflects
Jan 2014 · 371
The man who wrote the music
applause
i crave them
there are but two hands
clap. clap. clapping


for me, stumbling through my dancing
for me, a man who's kept, and kept, trying
there was almost a second where i lost it
the i realized who was clapping
he was the man who wrote the music.
Jan 2014 · 592
Psychosis
Let's be honest here
I hear voices.
It's hard not to listen to them.
They are convincing.
Even when what they say is complete *******.
Jan 2014 · 414
I cannot help but feel
i want to brush my fingertips along the line of your lips
trace your edges and, gently take hold of your hips,
take my hands, and take it slow and let it slip,
whisper in your ear that i want a littlle taste
, a little sip, come close and caress you like for so long ive missed,
tell you that i love you, and then smile a ******* grin, like this
broken rhythym
trying to explain my heart to her
splattered on the wall
shattered and splashed on all of my surroundings
shattered, splattered, all
but i am stuck resounding
the overcoming call
i wil love, i will love you,
for every day, for all,
i will not leave, i will not leave you,
not for a single
foot
fall
Let's walk
Jan 2014 · 468
And this is us
she is a dancer
I am  music
we are at times out of sync
her steps may clash with my beat
her ease may be mismatched to my harshness
but we are by our very essences entwined
I am the sky
she is the sea
I, with my gravity,
draw her to me,
We are together
when we are apart
because against all sense
we are senseless as art
we are like blood
and like veins
we move through each other
we crave
we are like wanderings
and feet, and hearts,
we are so close,
but so far apart
In the past month i have been depressed, angry, ecstatic, energetic, lifeless, happy, and hopeless.I have hated myself and i have loved myself. I have done things that i never thought i would.  I regret some of them. Others confuse me with the way i want them and want their complete opposites. I am a man of complete confliction. I am scared that my confliction has cost me you. I fear I am alone. But i know i am not. I have people, some that i want in my life, others that i don't.  And i have God. A god i at times scream at, whisper to, or share a secret smile or sadness with. A god that i trust, but that i fail maybe even more than minutely.  A god who you believe is using this circumstance, this what seems like utter loss, but is really just the building of walls, the lessening of potential, the closing of doors, to make me turn to him. And i am turning, but i am still failing. I am still conflicting. I fear i will forever. And that i will never be good enough. That i will never return to the state of  being enough to be with you.  That i have given you up for my conflictions, my mistakes, lusts, wants, and compulsions.  You are  guarded. I am guarded. I can no longer lay my self before you. I cannot bring myself to.  I do not know if it is for this, or for something else that you  have your walls, walls that i never wanted, expected, or even feared could exist. I have been blindsided by this. But you are not here to help me. God is, but i remain in this limbo of thoughts and actions that dont add up.
was it right and just the wrong time?
or was it wrong?
did i break it, or just bend it?
should have i begun it? should i ever have ended it?
the fact of asking questions
makes me think i know the answers
I still wish i could be with you.
I am sorry for what i have put you through.
I know i am forgiven. That is not my worry or my hurt.
My hurt is in the dashing of what we had upon the rocks
as if it was an infant, and i just couldn't take care of it,
or it was sick,
but it was a beautiful child, and i will miss it,
even though i never really knew it.

I feel even now, as if in my aimlessness,
my direction, my weakness,
in my search for truth, and  the strength to make the  change i know i need in myself,
I am only destroying any and every inkling, of anything that's left,
if there is any at all
with each breath,
with each kiss,
with each time i try to fill this place you fit.

with each time i try to move on, or distract myself, i fear i give up my future,
the one i know God wants for me.
Yes, he is sovereign, and if it is meant to be it surely will,
but, i can't help but wonder, can't help but feel
if i can thwart it,
that i broke it.

What have i done,
and what have it done it for?
yes there is love but,
love like pearls
on the floor.
I keep trying to pick them up.

What can i do but try to see their luster through the dirt?
What can i do now that i have figured out what they are worth?
I had no idea how difficult that would be.
now i wonder what is illuminated by that difficulty?
what does that mean that my heart has become?
beyond my power, something extraordinary, and something scary has been done.
But, i trust you God, I will not run .
You don't know where you are?
your former plans loom just like ghosts?
so, who cares? enjoy not knowing to the utmost.
Get lost in the sounds of things you don't know.
reminisce over memories you thought you'd lost in the undertow.
Get swept away in the possibilities, don't forget me, and i'll keep remembering.
Dec 2013 · 935
Gypsy heart keep on ramblin
I got a gypsy heart, and i don't know where i'm going,
but i know where to start.
right here, right now, all i am for all you are.
Keep my ramblin feet moving,
i pray one day one can ramble with me,
catch up or never fall behind,
i got major love, but i just cant stay more than tonight.
thought i was victorious but i couldnt keep a promise,
thought i was stronger but i never forsaw this
broke, broke it all, upon an alter of chaos
they, they think they've won, but they dont know what they've lost
i know im still alive, life is the last thing they can cost
ill fight, until all they are is dust
demons, go back into the past, you're crushed
Dec 2013 · 565
You can trust me
I understand insecurities, the scars i have are real,
i understand issues with trust, i know just how you feel.
I get trust where i can, and seek it where i lack,
i understand to seek it there, even though behind my back.
so do not think that all i do is paint pictures of trust,
remember that i hold you dear, i pray, believe, you must.
rhythym like that
makes the rain jealous
smile when you move
or its just not the same
rain makes my bones ache
and then i escape into sleep
i love you too... perhaps a bit too much
i just wanna wipe your tears
the way i wipe windows to stare out of them
on days like this when my own vision is foggy
Dec 2013 · 1.2k
self denial?
rapture from my wrist
cold steel clinched in tight fists
not now, but maybe if it slips, if it slips
why can't i touch your lips? Whisper,maybe dance,
with a twist, with a twist
maybe a chance, maybe a kiss,
but for what, for this?
would i wreck it, all ive missed
for you? maybe once.
but not tonight, not with a tryst.
Nov 2013 · 582
Reflecting on Reflections
i can see the  reflection of a tree
sparesely decorated with colored leaves
hidden under or over - im not quite sure
the backgroud of my computer screen
behind me is the window
and sky, and wind, and trees
are just a second in that direction
but here i sit
in lecture, reflecting on reflections
I wish
I held a secret
affections unuttered as to
avoid the coming clutter
of our friendship
coloring pages uncolored
now, i love colors, don't get me wrong
but when i mix the hues
and they come out differently than i expect
when i aim for purple and insteead get blue
its unnerving, loss of control,
thoughts of being undeserving because i did something wrong
the entire nature of our friendship has been altered - now, i am afraid
before. . .i could hide. everything could be fine.
so long as i shut my eyes and kept mt teeth clenched tight.
i wish i hadnt told you how i felt last night. . .
especially since i wish i knew how to express my self rightly
i cant put words to these affections quite so well
i love you, but not in the way that i might love someone else
that i would feel these things for. . . i don't think i like you like that
i think my jealousy is wrapped up in my own pride
i think my affections are perfectly fine.
i dont want you to have the idea
that im falling madly in love with you
and that you have to at all change the way we are
that. . .would be the tragedy i am afraid of.
even the slightest altering of the innocent
simple, beautiful, unexplained nature of our friendship
chemicals i think.

but could have been in the beginning with la mariposa
reading a few simple words
feels much more like a piece of me crumbling
than i ever knew
was possible
i should find the bright side
love is not for me
it is for you
i am glad you are happy
Nov 2013 · 808
please, call me cocoon
I am caterpillar
teeth hungry for things that leave me behind
leaves blowing in the wind when i wish i could call them mine
pieces of the past spit out for lack of taste, lack of color,
lack of the ability to reacreate, lack of everything that i thought was underneath my name
But that will all be over soon,
please, though i am caterpillar,
call me cocoon
help me spread silk over myself
to cover over all misery i have felt
help me forget the cards that i have been dealt
help me
GIVE UP MYSELF
turn me liquid. . .
dissolve all i have left
enzymes are invited to devour my deepest desires
I am tired of not being able to fly
Nov 2013 · 849
I will finally understand
He laid down his riches, his kingdom, his throne,
and for mankind became a slave.
He willingly and knowingly allowed himself to be offered up as a tribute to defang and defame death. and your minuscule issues. He laid himself down to be lifted up. He fought not the fate of crucifixion, for redeeming the fate of man was his mission.Why would the ultimate goal of the only God of the universe be to redeem a creation that had defied him?Why, when betrayed, was the ultimately powerful God inclined to give up his life to recapture our affections and our fates from what our defiance necessitates?
Freedom to love freely given us
we were not meant
to be robots
we were meant
to have hearts
our hearts, became harlots
they lay down
with the unworthiest of lovers
they drowned, and drown themself,
in affairs hidden under dingy covers
love is a choice
and we messed this one up
We tore through his heart with splinters
, and though he loved us dearly, we struck a bargain with death.
Gavels smashed the nails into place.
It was a debt that would destroy love.
But love could not be destroyed
And so, after three days, with death’s sting in hand, he rose.
He was the only one able to become a thorn in death’s side.
It was for mercy,
it was for justice,
it was for love,
and it was for grace, that he became incarnate.
It was from before time, from the beginning of creation,
from the birth of man at his hands, from the moment his breath filled Adam’s lungs,
it was from then, that it began.
In creation,
it is the incarnation and the resurrection that so clearly paint a portrait of God's face,
and just how he loves man in this broken place
rescuing and redeeming it.
he is not hiding. he is here.
There is a thread of scarlet, weaved from the very moment we fell,
up until the day we shall be well,
up until the day we shall explode from the ground in unending swells
This thread from death, to life, through love, is Jesus.
He is a stamp of lipstick that seals a love letter to humanity.
Though humanity is a *****.
It is an illumination of his love for us.
The light of a lamp ever close,
when by chasing the affections of others we have attempted its escape.
It is too plain. And it is meant to be that way.
It is intended to thwart our blindness and woo us away from unworthy lovers.
It is the clearest declaration of love man has ever been exposed to.
His life, It is a portrait of Jesus, and how he loves his bride. It is God’s greatest pick up line.
So why it is that he came? He came to live, to be tortured and yes, to die..
But what is most important is this: He came for us.
restoration of us to a place of life.
the image of God within us
to its full manifestation
replaced within the proper space  
though not  finally consummated until our glorification.
It accomplished all it intended, and it intended our full resurrection
  We are resurrected unto life,
unto intimacy with God,
unto hope for a future,
unto the loss for words at his love for us.
We are resurrected unto eternal paradise with the God-man who loves us most


ANd when i hear the gavel echo
it will strike through history
ring with the sound of nails pounded into a crucifix
by weary roman hands, bloodstained, sliced by the grain of the wood and
reflect the splintered dogwood tree in his eyes
and he will smile. I will finally understand.
Nov 2013 · 782
It was a gavel
ANd when i hear the gavel echo
it will strike through history
ring with the sound of nails pounded into a crucifix
by weary roman hands, bloodstained, sliced by the grain of the wood and
reflect the splintered dogwood tree in his eyes
and he will smile. I will finally understand.
I could be ended
independently of any plans i have
my next moment could slip into the past
as my last breath
my next moment could become just a scratch in the crust of the earth
a resting place for my bones and teeth
a scratch that leaves a scar
i would pray that i might be missed by more than few and far
between you and i, i know
i know i am selfish
i admit that i am self absorbed
i like to masquerade as introspective
because who doesnt believe that looking inward to sort your self out
is beneficial, who doesnt think that just a little selfishness is acceptable
I am prideful, i love you for me
i do good things
because doing good makes me feel good
i hide when you most need my presence
because well, "i needed it and i just couldnt help it"
I talk about me again, even when i have already said it
i am sick, i need a medic,
i have been manic,
i am letting go of my madness
i will not find the light in it
i have found it
and turned my face to the side
faking that i couldnt tell the truth
from a lie.
Nov 2013 · 428
How many: hunger
How many times have you said
new creation is not just for your generation
that the remnants of peoples will become the lifeblood of your nation
how often
have you driven me to transformation
and i have tended toward apathy and stagnation
how many days
how many days have you traced the edges of my unhappiness with your eyes
hungry to trace them with your hands,
hungry to heal me when i , i am hungry to stay dead
I am done with that
How many times can i embrace the truth?
How many times can i remember that you have scars too?
How many, how many
times can i find that i dont have to jump through hoops
and still not believe
but i am done with that
how many times have i seen?
how many times have i pulled back the black sky
to thank you for the water that falls from my blind side
how many times have i smiled
simply because i saw your face peek out
in the darkest of moments
how many, how many times
have i acted like i haven't known it
it was you
How many, how many times, can i quit?
I don't want to continue.
In the beginning was the word, and the word was with god, and the word was god.  It is this word, sometimes referred to as logos, sometimes as Jesus, that has existed eternally and did become incarnate for the love and mercy within himself to be applied to us when we deserved it the very least.  
He (Jesus, the word) took on corruptible human flesh and indwelled it himself, though he is incorruptible. He laid down his riches, his kingdom, his throne, and for mankind became a slave. He willingly and knowingly allowed himself to be offered up as a tribute to defang and defame death. He did so in one of the most imaginably torturous ways to have occurred in human history. He laid himself down to be lifted up. He fought not the fate of crucifixion, for redeeming the fate of man was his mission.
Why would the ultimate goal of the pre-existing God of the universe be to redeem a creation that had defied him? Why, when betrayed, was the ultimately powerful God compelled to give up his ultimate powers to recapture our affections and our fates from what our defiance necessitates?
There are natures of God, which we, as humans, do not fully understand. We understand God to be just. We understand him to be merciful. We understand him to love. Then, we look upon the world and we see death. We see corruption. We see the suffering of innocents at the hands of the wicked. We see terrible natural disasters destroy entire nations.  There appears here to be a confliction of God and his nature(s) with the reality of the state of the world.  
According to Athanasius, these conflicts result from the fall of man. The moment man gave up his purity to corruption, by choice; the entirety of creation began to follow him into evil, into non-being.  Also according to Athanasius, these conflicts are necessary for God to remain consistent unto himself.
God found himself that day of our betrayal, with a conundrum. He was just, and he had allowed our freedom out of love, so that we may, by choice, truly love him, as opposed to , by lack of choice, robotically obey him. We abused that choice, and though he loved us dearly, we struck a bargain with death. It was a debt that would destroy us. It was God’s love that would not allow him to see us destroyed without intervention.
God had spoken and he, being truth, could not reverse his words. To do so would have been to falsify his entire nature. God also loved, and he could not allow the object of his desire to be so ruined as to have never existed. He could not allow mankind to die and remain true to his own being and nature.
And so, God, in the only way possible, paid our debt. He destroyed death by himself coming as the incorruptible to dwell within corruptible flesh. Upon the death of the body he indwelled he, being incorruptible within the body, could not pass away. And so, after three days, with death’s sting in hand, he rose. He was the only one able to become a thorn in death’s side. Thusly he demonstrated his power over death and the payment of the debt of mankind in an acceptable sacrifice.
It was for mercy, it was for justice, it was for love, and it was for grace, that he became incarnate. It was from before time, from the beginning of creation, from the birth of man at his hands, from the moment his breath filled Adam’s lungs, it was from then, that it began. In creation, it is the incarnation and the resurrection that so clearly paint a portrait of God himself, and just how he loves man.  But the incarnation is an image of the character of God, acted out towards his creation. Just as God’s creation is a portrait of himself in some way, so is his rescuing and redeeming it.
He loved us so well he would bleed. He loved us so well he would die. And still, though men ignore, or rail against him, he would love them. He does not turn away. He does not turn his back. If centuries of men turned vile could not repulse him from his love, how much less could another day? He is everlasting, unchanging in his love.
There is a thread of scarlet, weaved from the very moment we fell, up until the day we shall be redeemed in the greatest and last resurrection. This thread from death, to life, through love, is Jesus. It is the word incarnate. His incarnation is a stamp of lipstick that seals a love letter to humanity.
So why it is that he came? He came to live, to be tortured and to die, yes. But what is most important is this: He came for us. And why then did it have to be that he came in such a way? We are men, and so like us, a man was required to pay man’s debt. We owed a debt to death, and so, like we had to, he also had to die.  
So what did his coming accomplish? His coming accomplished restoration of us to a place of life. In a sense, the restoration of the image of god within us to its full manifestation has been replaced within the proper space within us: Though this manifestation will not be finally consummated until our glorification.  It accomplished all it intended, and it intended our full resurrection, in all senses of the word.  We are resurrected unto life, unto intimacy with god, unto hope for a future, unto the loss for words at his love for us. We are resurrected unto eternal paradise with the God-man who loves us most.
This is the reason for the incarnation. We need be not silent about it.
They said i was a **** but im not see
they said i was naughty  but thats not me
they said i was smoothe like im watery
but im not cause im nautically inept
i'd drown if i tried to swim in watery depths
stickin to the shallows where the minnows are kept
cause i cant trust the captain when im wearing the hat
worried bout the undertow and the way that it swept me out
im not sure what will come to pass but my compass will get me out
its late, but its gonna be early soon, ill start watching morning stars
and stop getting distracted by the reflection of the moon
waves like to slap me in the face, it might not be courteous
but its the cultural pace, its rude, values are lost and the truth
is sinking to the bottom of the trench, spit on and forgotten in the deepest end
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