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Lu Dec 2017
I see you in the face of every broken child

I hear you in the whistling of the wind out on the cliff

I see you in the wilting roses that sit by your grave

I hear you in the crashing waves down by sea

But do you see me
out on the roof, staring up at the stars just hoping to find you

do you hear me
on the hills above our house, screaming into the distance just wishing for another chance


you don't
do you

because you fell
despite my effort to hold you up

you let go
when the world got to tough
and it pushed you to far

...

you let me go
1.4k · Dec 2017
The boy named Declan
Lu Dec 2017
He was silent
consumed by the rhythm of music

His eyes were full of passion


He had this idea that he was inlove
but the girl he was falling for didn't feel the same

His emotion controlled him

He pushed everyone else out of the way
to try and catch her

but each time,
she would slip away

When he finally broke
no one was there to catch his pieces

so he fell
harder than before

and when he wasn't there anymore

she noticed his silence
and fell in love
1.2k · Oct 2018
loosing all sense of self
Lu Oct 2018
I'm getting lost in a sand storm
of bad decisions
and bad ideas
...
945 · Oct 2018
each night
Lu Oct 2018
I fall asleep
to the sound of my own voice
murmuring twisted thoughts
into the spaces
in my brain
828 · Sep 2018
love is an illusion
Lu Sep 2018
i am a mess
...
trouble is a word i find myself connected to a lot lately

i'm making bad decisions that i know are bad but i don't have the emotion to care about the consequences.
.
when i wake up, the day ahead seems so unbearable and a feeling of numbness washes over me
...

i am lost

i am lonely

i just want to move on but i feel so bolted into place
595 · Dec 2018
heart break
Lu Dec 2018
love is pain
441 · Jan 2019
Untitled
Lu Jan 2019
I know that you will break my heart but I'm to naive to leave
427 · Jan 2019
crave
Lu Jan 2019
my falling heart

will shatter

when it hits yours
405 · Jan 2018
every . last . thing
Lu Jan 2018
you broke me

with every word

that flew from your mouth


with every kiss

that you lay upon me


i was falling apart

piece by piece


but you didn't pick me back up

and mend me back into place


you just watched

thinking it was an act


thinking that i would be okay
376 · Aug 2018
reaching for you
Lu Aug 2018
oh dear friend,

treat me kindly

love me softly

- act as if i am a flower


and please

realise i am in pain
359 · Jan 2019
Untitled
Lu Jan 2019
life is to complicated to express
343 · Aug 2018
betrayal
Lu Aug 2018
Do you not see
that all the knives you throw,
hit me
330 · Jan 2019
self destruction
Lu Jan 2019
when you know it will break you but you let it happen anyway
279 · Jan 2018
the hidden things
Lu Jan 2018
Each morning we plaster on another face

and each minute outside our homes
it starts to brake

slowly rupturing
:
pieces falling from the sides
again and again
:
but when we return again that night
whats left of that face,
brakes away
and our skin begins to crack

so we look away
and instead
ignore all our imperfections and flaws
as they come tumbling out

we don't dare to even glance
because seeing means feeling and accepting
so
we live in fear of them
and
we hope that they'll disappear

but they never will if we fight them
and only recently
i realised this

so i wore my face

confident and clear
:
my true face

and decided that i will not hide myself any longer

i decided to be free

:
and throughout this
i learnt
we have to love our flaws
and cherish our imperfections
instead of making them non existent

as hard as it may be
we must do it
for our own good
Lu Jan 2018
i'll linger

in the sun haze that sits upon the dust brushed flowers


i'll drift

through the glimmering water that flows so carelessly

...

will you

fly with the wind out to open skies

,

dance with the trees as they bend and sway

...

or will you stay

and live on

in this mediocre life

,

will you stay

and follow rules

with no second thought


it's up to you

be free
in a world of unique

or be a someone
in a world of billions
267 · Jan 2018
An eternity knowing
Lu Jan 2018
He was invisible
to everyone but me

His head hung low
and his legs never stopped

He didn't speak because he thought no one would hear him

He didn't look because he knew no one would be looking back


but i was

i was waiting for him to speak so he knew i could hear him
i was waiting for him to look so he knew i could see him

but he never did

so i watched
and waited
-
observing
...

some days, i would catch a glimpse of his eyes
they were so dark
so haunted
so afraid

other days, i would only see his shadow, right before it turned a corner and then he was gone


-
i craved to know
what exactly this boy
to afraid to show his face
was scared of

so i searched
-
i needed him to know
that i could see him
...
to know
that he wasn't alone

but then i saw him staring me dead in the eyes
and
a heartbroken mess blew up inside me

because i had seen
what i feared so deeply

and i felt every inch of my body aching all at once

because he was fading
and soon not even i would be able to see him

...
i was to late
254 · Mar 2019
Untitled
Lu Mar 2019
I don't want to be alive unless she's with me
235 · Jan 2018
picked
Lu Jan 2018
and like every flower

i was only picked

to be placed

in a glass bottle

to look pretty
217 · Jan 2018
Hmm
Lu Jan 2018
Hmm
Fluorescent
Dangerous
Electric
...

it feels like i'm floating
in outer space

so strange and scary
yet i dread the moment it goes away


i see planets
thousands of them
rotating around one another
continuously
to afraid to be alone
-
to afraid to be without




Strong
Bright
Alive
...
It feels like I’m running
In a field of daisies

So free and careless

Each flower growing to be beautiful and unique
Each row spreading to create more

The petals glowing yellow and gold
The stems flowing with green sprouts of life

It felt wonderful to appreciate a life other than my own

One so delicate and pure
217 · Jan 2018
you
Lu Jan 2018
you
she watched
,
listened
...
but never spoke


she thought that by making herself invisible

she could stay away from it all
...
away from the lies
,
the truths
,
the sadness
and
the regret
...
she thought she was better off that way
-
she thought she was actually alive


soon

she grew so lonely
,
not even my company was enough

and i tried to tell her

"if no one can see you, your not really alive"

but she carried on

ignoring the signs
that told her stop
,
the signs that asked her
to leave the thoughts behind
,
the signs that told her
she needs to live

and i could feel the very moment
she began to doubt it all
...
the very moment she truly let go

-

after that
,
i knew i couldn't stop her
-
for it was all in her head

and her head chose to ignore her heart
...
to ignore me

.

i always thought that i could change her

but
then i met a wise old lady
who told me
"you cannot change someone, who doesn't want to be changed"

and it was hard for me to except at first

i just didn't understand

why she chose

death over life.

but as the year's went by
there wasn't a day where i wouldn't be thinking about it
...
about her
,
my dear friend

and it must have just clicked
because i finally understood

that i couldn't have saved her
nor could have anyone else
...
it was her choice
and that was that
210 · Jan 2018
A final act
Lu Jan 2018
The last of the sun shining upon her face

Her eyes open and close to the view of darkened water  

Bubbles rising to the surface

As her lungs release what’s left
of the sadness inside her

‘Oh,
Beautiful earth
...
Take me someplace better’
206 · Jan 2018
do you hear me
Lu Jan 2018
Some nights
I listen
:
to the slow hum of distant cars
,
to the loud buzz of lingering insects
,
to the intense pounding of my thoughts

:
sometimes I even get caught in the sound

I let it take me away

I let it consume me
so that I don’t have to be alone
with the silence
203 · Dec 2018
Untitled
Lu Dec 2018
our lives our pointless.

everything we do, everything we are, just becomes nothing

we wont be remembered

what we do wont be remembered

this world of ours will soon be gone and we will just have been a  fraction of a tiny speck in its exsistence
192 · Jan 2018
???
Lu Jan 2018
???
I watched you slip away
Into the shadows
Every time
Not knowing where you went

Until I followed you
I saw your world in my eyes
Oh, How spectacular it was

You were so free

And for the first time in my life
I wanted what I couldn’t have

I wanted what you had
I wanted you
191 · Dec 2017
Untitled
Lu Dec 2017
I deprive myself from the world outside my window
because i know the truth that no one else can seem to see

The truth about the world when everything's asleep

when the sun has gone and the stars take place
Lu Jan 2018
Enclosed in a glass building

i see the trees
i watch them sway and bend

i hear the birds
i listen to them chirping and singing

but i can't feel

...

the way water runs down off the leaves when rain hits them

and i can't feel

the soft gush of air that pounds off a birds wings during takeoff


i can't because i'm stuck

in a glass building

for everyone to see

,

for everyone to hear
...

but for no one to touch
-
for no one to love
190 · Jan 2018
Desolate
Lu Jan 2018
I need to feel
Something

Anything

I need
a sign that I am still here
and alive

And that I haven’t entirely
lost
my sense of self

^

That I haven’t been
drained

and left empty
And numb.
188 · Jan 2019
lost
Lu Jan 2019
motivation

; something I haven't had in a while

my mind knows how to save me, but my body doesn't
188 · Jan 2018
6 feet under
Lu Jan 2018
I want to fall so fast
that the ground splits in two
and buries me
deep within the dirt
until I can no longer hear you
185 · Sep 2018
aboy
Lu Sep 2018
your touch is never cold

your voice is never rushed

...
i continue to find beautiful things about you that i know in the end, will hurt me
182 · Oct 2018
how I am
Lu Oct 2018
you ask
and ask again if I am okay

and I say I'm fine because saying that I'm not is to hard

...

3 suicide attempts
30 intentional scars
100 ruined relationships

is what it has taken for me to realise I am not fine, I am hurting

I want to be saved
I want to be healed

I need something that makes me want to not let go

...
days blur into weeks
thoughts cloud my head
,
its all to much

I am
overwhelmed
confused
;
beyond repair
182 · Dec 2017
my soul
Lu Dec 2017
If a child is all you see in me

than so be it
thats your loss rather than mine

for you have chosen not to look deep enough into my soul

to where the wild flowers grow
and the secrets are bottled up tight


You have not taken the time to appreciate the human being I have come to be

The one with the scars on her ankles
and the bruises on her knees


My soul tells the stories I'm to afraid to say

but the respect of another can unleash them all

you'll be able to watch them slip away into the sky

only for you to catch them
180 · Dec 2017
she's gone
Lu Dec 2017
You'll be left wondering whether her presence has changed you

whether it has changed the way you see the stars glimmering in the sky

or the way you hear every goodbye
This is just some short little poem that popped into my head so I thought I would share it.
Lu Jan 2018
i saw you
:
you saw me


and there was

the beginning

of a painful love story
178 · Dec 2018
my wake
Lu Dec 2018
Mornings are hard

having to find some kind of motivation or hope to even get myself out of bed,
and then thinking about the day ahead knowing that it will be just like any other

//

nights are harder

Stuck with thoughts flooding my mind,
Wanting to just curl up into a ball of silence but then when that silence comes, its deafening.
177 · Jan 2018
defeated
Lu Jan 2018
I'm standing face to face

with the demon from my past

...

all i can do stare it straight in the eyes
.
it stares back
.

this is the final test
-
to see if i have overcome
what i use to fear so strongly

-
it tilts its head
,
thats when the flash backs begin


they spin

- continuously -

around
in the back of my mind


for a second
i think ill crumble

but i resist

something inside me is stronger
braver
more fearless than before
...
i can feel the motivation build up inside me
...

the demon begins to fade
,
slowly at first
then all at once

-
and i feel free

and lighter

and happier
...
i feel undaunted


i feel new
176 · Dec 2017
Emotions
Lu Dec 2017
Lost.
Drowning from a wave of emotion.
One hit, I’m gone.
Sweep under by its force.

Trapped.
It suffocates me.
Surrounds my lungs, slowly flooding them.
Two breaths, I’m sinking.
Down into the darkness.

Empty.
There’s nothing left.
Bubbles rise to the surface, leaving me behind.
Three metres, I’ve fallen to its floor.
176 · Dec 2017
Poison
Lu Dec 2017
I was my own poison

Ruined by society
crushed by depression

Everyone I loved, slipped away into a different world
Everything I believed, got ripped from my mind

Soon the lights were gone
I was left out in the cold

But then came the demons
they took me to a place of safety

I let them take over

But I saw to late,
the destruction they caused

and soon I was nothing at all.
173 · Oct 2018
ruined inside n out
Lu Oct 2018
help me;

I feel so broken and completely numb.

I've forgotten what it is like to feel happy

to feel normal...

to feel anything but utterly empty
171 · Jan 2018
Waiting for your death
Lu Jan 2018
I'm here
waiting for your death

waiting for your heart beat to drop
and your vital signs to stop
168 · Oct 2018
mmm
Lu Oct 2018
mmm
why must I be so naive

I think I've got it all under control
...
I think everything is going to be good

but it never works out that way
...
it never does
162 · Jan 2018
aching
Lu Jan 2018
i knew you

i knew every little thing about you

and you knew me

my fears

secrets

loves


but then it stopped

and we went back to being

the ones who walk past each other everyday

and act like we don't recognise

who we are

and it was painful

to see you

pretend i wasn't there
160 · Oct 2018
Untitled
Lu Oct 2018
my mental state is worsening

my life in general is starting to get better

so
how can I possibly enjoy my time if I'm constantly battling my inner self
160 · Jan 2018
lies
Lu Jan 2018
We are all strangers

not only to one another

but to ourselves
:
our own skin

bone

and
flesh
159 · Jul 2018
a truth
Lu Jul 2018
I plant flowers in the darkest part of my mind

and hope that they will grow
159 · Sep 2018
Untitled
Lu Sep 2018
Caged in her own two ribs

she became a prisoner

so deprived of hope she’d forgotten how to fight

her wings so tightly bound by starving skin

she began to remember
what it felt like to be free
-
a flickering glimpse of what life could be
makes her wonder
whether she still has something
within that could let her go
158 · Jan 2018
Oh
Lu Jan 2018
Oh
Your tears
Are what I fear

Because knowing that I hurt you
Makes my whole body afraid
157 · Apr 2018
Grandpa's Cancer
Lu Apr 2018
From the liver to the lungs
...
it spread like wildfire
.


weakening each cell
as it passed through
.



His
existence
had become a
waiting exercise
157 · Oct 2018
Untitled
Lu Oct 2018
i feel like an ant,

finding its way through a world to big for its little lost body
157 · Jan 2018
more to life
Lu Jan 2018
I use to believe
that I was the only one
who could see past all the paper faces

That I was the only one
who dared to dream of a life
other than the one that was prepared for me

I believed
That I was human

But then I met you

You showed me that everyone is more than just what I could see

You said
"on the inside
each of us have beautiful unique minds
and troubling hearts"

You proved to me that I can lead whatever life I want

that I can take risks

But most of all
You made sure that I would never stop looking past the paper

Past the lies
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