feeling groovy

feeling lost

feeling everything but normal

Life is everything and nothing all at once.

Eventually we fade, and all that we were, is gone.

and yes, maybe i am scared because the future seems so non existent and i won't be here to see what happens to this world.

...

I'm scared to let go of my life knowing that i wont be able to look up at the stars as they shine, or swim in the ocean and feel the water guide me, or smell the flowers that grow out in my grandma's garden.

oh dear friend,

treat me kindly

love me softly

- act as if i am a flower


and please

realise i am in pain

I painted an empty grey sky

with tears falling from its eyes

Please,
don't let go -

Your heart will heal ; you will heal

death
is
so powerful

. . .


the soon to be, death of a loved one
has changed my perception on life itself
and how venerable we really are

it has changed the way i feel about his last months alive

and now, i sit here writing this, still trying to decide whether the choices i've left myself with are really worth it
. . .
becuase they seem impossible

and soon he might be gone,
and ill be left with that
empty pit in my stomach,
thinking about all the things i never did with him,
and all the small moments that could have been something
life changing


ill be left with so many
drowning thoughts
and im scared that i will
suffocate beneath them