Pat yourself on the back for waking up this morning,
for getting out of bed,
for taking a shower,
for combing your hair,
for brushing your teeth.

Praise yourself again for being able to complete your homework,
for packing your backpack,
for going to class and being able to pay some attention.

Commend yourself on seeing your friends,
for trying to smile and sing along to whatever song was on the radio,
for being present when you felt so far away.

Compliment yourself on being able to eat today,
for not throwing it back up because you were sick to your stomach,
for being able to tuck yourself into bed dosed with NyQuil so you'll sleep through the night.

Applaud yourself for not giving into the all consuming misery that leaves you in a heap on the floor,
gasping for breath unable to rasp out anything but "someone help me".

Congrats for choosing to start another day tomorrow.

I'm done dead to none but myself
I am lifeless holding on by a thread
that once held me together
I seep from every poor thought out paper I hand in
screaming please help the lost soul
in the corner
despair blares over the loudspeaker
and this time no one knows
to catch me when I fall
because they're too busy looking
in the other direction
this time I could slip into sleep
and never come out
of my self-induced coma
maybe I could finally be free
if my hand slipped
and those problems of mine dropped
into my mouth and down my throat
dead to all but me

I've been wrapped up in your arms
too long I fear
I'm starting to feel a little light headed
your lips will be my downfall
but I've already fallen so hard
trying to catch my breath
in your gaze
I'm afraid you'll let me crash
from this high
I'll bite my tongue against these unbashful words
until the time is right to set them free

Stop
stop
stop
stop
the blasted noise is killing my head
pounding
pounding
pounding
pounding
why won't it stop
no matter where I turn
I can't breath
in
out
inhale
exhale
choke
no don't choke
keep going
keep breathing
just a little longer
hold tight
oh so tightly
onto your sanity
don't pull the trigger
on no please don't pull the trigger
you'll regret that bullet
that finally made it all
stop
stop
stop
stop

I gave into my demons last night
oh darling I'm sorry I did
I slit my wrists and signed my name in blood
their contract of semi-consciousness
she kissed my lips that angel of death
and I cried your name with my last free breath
and with a chuckle they hurled me into oblivion
for who is to love a creature such as I
now that they've ****** my soul dry
I'm hollowed and hungry for solace
shall I sink my teeth into your flesh
for a last taste of sweet blissful innocence

My demons are tearing me apart
and I'm fumbling in the dark
I lost my light back when I forgot who I was
dropping words like bread crumbs
to lead me home to a place
where my soul lies dormant
waiting to wake up
my flesh burns with it's absence
and the presence of a rotten heart within my chest
screaming obscenities into my head
this anger boils my blood
and heats my skin
if you were to touch me I'd burn you
with sin

I'm in need of a sunshine holiday
a break from the unending rain
that makes the sidewalks slippery
because I often find myself slipping
and falling
even though I try so hard
to catch myself
I've never had balance in my life
so I guess it makes sense
to pick myself back up again
because that's easier than trying to stop yourself
in the first place
mistakes can be recovered from
and if you never fall prey
to bad decisions
how do you ever expect to learn