I'm tired of spilling out my heart
Just to be left behind
I'm tired of being ripped apart
For insight to my mind

I'm tired of dealing with complaints
And all the dramatic ****
I can't break free of these restraints
Why don't I just quit

I'm tired of seeing familiar faces
And unfamiliar sounds
I want to be in quiet places
Where I will not be found

I'm tired of always having worry
Hanging around my neck
You wonder why I'm in a hurry
So nothing has to wreck

I'm tired of being the only one
To care for everyone so much
When it seems like they're all on the run
Leaving me out in the dust

I'm tired of never getting back
All the care I give
After awhile, I start to lack
The willingness to live...

I built up my wall, it's not coming down.
It's the place that keeps me safe and sound.
And when it's provoked, it only gets stronger.
It's not going to give in; it's been with me longer.
The only loyalty that will never leave.
This wall protects me; something i need.
No one comes in, my gates are locked.
It doesn't matter who you are; don't be shocked.
The guards to the wall are built up with lies.
So, no they can't trust, what a surprise.
And each brick, harder than stone.
Made by pain, betrayal, and more that's unknown.
Don't even try to knock down this fort.
Because what happens if you do, will be a drastic last resort.

Which way is right?
Where'd i go wrong?
Why do i need someone  keeping me strong?
I lost my courage, can't find the light.
Somebody help me and hold on real tight.
Keep me encourage, try to refrain.
Some of my promises will not remain.
Look in my eyes, put me to sleep.
But if you let go, i'll fall way too deep.

What the hell has happened here?
Up in our heads, things aren't so clear.
We hurt each other, by words and by gun.
There's no reason; just for "fun".
Sick and twisted, you can't deny.
Do something to stop it, this isn't a lie.

I used to want someone to know.
What do i do, where do i go?
But look where that got me, it's easy to tell.
All the scars, and tears that fell.
The constant invasion, i got no peace.
There was only one way to release.
But that caused more problems; day after day.
At one point, all i could do was pray.
Too much to handle.
I couldn't make it through.
Now i do what i have to.
I couldn't clean up the mess that was made.
Can't trust anyone, i'm too afraid.
My wall is built up; impenetrable.
But it's the only part of me that is still stable.

Why do i admire the cuts and bruises on my skin?
All they do is remind me of the pain that i've been in.
The bruises have now faded away, but they could return another day.
Or perhaps i could inflict more pain in some other way.
I have to confess i like the thought of not a little blood, but a lot.
There's silence as the blade in my hand sails across this soft, unexplored land.
Tears stream down my face and i smile.
Finally i did what i've wanted for awhile.

Is it completely crazy to say, that sometimes i don't wish to see another day?
Not one more sunset, or rise of the moon.
I want to go home, but my time is not soon.
This world is not for me, it's way too hard.
I'm always alone, scared, and on guard.
I feel so little, helpless and small.
I don't even care about anything at all.
I'm tired of trying, i just want to sleep.
But even that brings no peace, and so i break down and weep.
Dear Lord please help me.
Please be my light.
Be the stars and the moon that shine so brightly in the night.

Do you hear the music playing?
Soft as a lullaby.
So subtle, yet captivating; a tear falls from your eye.

Do you hear the melody?
So calming and sweet.
The music fills you and your heart thuds along with the beat.

Can you feel your naked soul being wrapped in song?
Each note sends a shiver, you haven't felt in so long.

Listen to each note breathe, in perfect harmony.
Find yourself wanting to sing, just set yourself free.

See the lights slowly dim, as you slip away.
Hear the music softly fade, and wait for it to return another day.

**** this old heart!
It's falling apart.
But it's supposed to be so strong.
All these years hiding deepest fears, knowing they are wrong.
**** you old brain!
Driving me insane; taunting me day and night.
Whispers commands, while guiding my hands to do evil time and time again.

Come now dear, tell me your fears; i can make them leave.
All your sadness disappears, there's no more need to grieve.
Come now dear, the path is clear; why don't you believe?
All the things you want the most you will now receive.
Come now dear, wipe that tear; there's no need to be afraid.
You know what you have to do, nothing can persuade.
Come now dear, your time is near; soon you will be sleeping.
Monsters lurk inside your soul, i can end their creeping.
Come right now dear, your time is here; i have come to take you with me.
Soon you'll be up in the sky and you'll see what i see.

I was getting better, until i looked at my scars.
Ones on my wrist, my thighs, my arms.
I know what i had gone through.
And let everyone see.
I didn't care to hide it.
It's what i did to me.
But i saw what it was doing to the ones i love.
And i begged the great Lord to help me from above.
It took a lot of patience, but now i know i'm blessed.
When i was dying, God granted my request.
I've been clean four months now, only slipped up once.
But the voices are coming back and they pack quite a punch.
Why do i miss cutting?
All it makes is pain.
I watch the blood, then wonder what did i really gain?
I did it for a reason, not a good one i suppose.
And that reason will remain untold because nobody knows.

By the time you get here, it will be too late
My heart has slowed, my organs done, the damage is too great
Do not try to save me, just look into my eyes
Stay with me and hold my hand until my soft demise