The scars were her stories,
And you mocked them,

Her head was full of tears,
And they thought it was empty,

The footsteps were hers,
Even if they were dragged,

Her trail kept going on,
It's mark trampled by other feet,

Her mind was filled with worries,
And they just added to the fear.

Just keep talking because it means you're alive,
Don't stop because I need to know you're still here,
Please continue to remind me you're breathing,
I'm scared the moment you stop responding,
You'll be gone...

Is it really dying if my soul's already dead?
Is it really screaming if it's just inside my head?

Don't,
please...
Just please don't.

Why does it come back,
All of a sudden,
For a moment,
Everything appears to be fine,
And then,
Like a crashing wave,
It pours over me,
Over you,
Over all of us,
And I long for,
The shelter of that moment,
Already passed,
And I wish,
I had enjoyed it more.

They say,

She went blind when she looked into the sun,
But that isn't true,

Because when she looked into the sun,
She just flew

There's always screaming,
Whether it be in my head or not,
It's always there,
Screaming at me,
Telling me to be better,
Reminding me of how worthless I am,
Yelling at me to be better,
Never stopping,
There's always screaming.

The clouds let loose their rains,
They release the tear drops,
That have become them once again,
But they shall return one day.

Stop, Just stop,
Please make it all stop.

Nothing.
That's all I have to offer.
Why do you want it?

I feel so detached,
So empty,
So lonely,
I feel so alone,
So tired,
So broken,
I feel such lethargy,
Such pain,
Such worthlessness,
I want to die,
To be alone,
To fade away,
I'm sorry for lying,
For hurting,
For being a horrible friend.

Maybe my poems are ******,
I'll probably look back at them and cringe,
But right now I love them,
Because without them, how else would I yell at the world?

I miss you,
The thrill of your love,
The patience in your voice,
The pureness in your tears,
The hope in our hands together,
The kindness in your eyes,
The broken love in your soul.

It won't leave me alone,
That nagging voice,
We all know the story,
One day she's here,
The next day she's gone,
But why does she have to be me?

I know you'd help me,
If only I would let you,
But my tears are mine alone,
And my scars belong to me,
So don't expect me to give them to you,
So you can have them too,
Because they'll just damage you,
They'll just hurt you,
And then you'll actually see me,
And you won't love me anymore.

How can I live in the moment,
When the only reason I am alive,
Are my dreams of anytime,
Other than this moment?

It seems,
As soon as the moment has passed,
So have the feelings,
And an emptiness settles in,
I don't want to feel empty,
I want to continue feeling,
The numbness is the reason I want to die,
Because I can't live knowing I can't feel the love I have for you,
I need to feel,
Because I love you,
So I can't let go,
I have to keep holding on,
And I'm sorry,
But I really wish we had never met,
So that I could jsut **** myself and end it all,
But I know I'd hurt you,
So I can't,
Because I can't hurt you anymore,
So I'll suffer,
But I won't let you know,
Because if you knew how ****** I was,
You'd probably leave,
And I would finally be able to let go,
And maybe part of me doesn't want to yet,
A part of me is glad you're stopping me,
But that part of me is too weak to fight the stronger side,
So please don't leave,
I need you,
I hate my mind.

Oh child,
Your eyes have bled tears,
Your hair is unkept,
You should get up,
You ought to go make something of your life,
Why are you just sitting here crying,
Don't look at me like that,
Don't look at me with such hate,
I see pain in your eyes,
Brush away those tears,
Take a deep breath, child,
You are still young,
There are years ahead of you,
Put away that knife,
Hold on just a little longer.

I should be happy,
I should be flying,
Instead I fall in a rain of tears.

I've come to learn,
That there is a fine line,
Between Hate & Love.

I guess we just keep breathing,
I guess our hearts keep beating,
Even when we're exploding,
Even if we can't keep on going.

What do you want?
Because I don't think I can give it
anymore,

What do you need?
Because I don't think I'm the one
you're looking for.

After a while,
The motions become robotic,
The smile naturally puts itself on,
The words slip off,
My lying tongue,
As if they were the truth.

I'm just an idiot in love,
A hopeless romantic,
Seeking and hoping,
But never actually expecting.

Why do I have to hide,
If you say you love me?
Shouldn't you be the one I trust,
With the hurting inside?
No, I love you too much,
To let you see my pain,
I could never tell you,
Never let you see the ugly me,
If I told you I would drown you,
In my blood, in my tears,
So instead I stay quiet,
And let it build up and suffocate me,
Because I could never hurt you,
With the beast who is me.

I'm losing do much of myself,
This power I have over you scares me,
I'm slowly fading into nothing,
I doubt it'll be long until I dissapear.

They say "Think of something that keeps you going."
"Think of someone you love who you can live for."
"Hold on to something you love."
But, I have nothing. And that just reminds me more,
Of why I want to **** myself.

I ****** up again...

No, you don't understand.

Don't tell me it's all gonna be fine,
Don't say everything will work out,
Because I cry myself to sleep every night,
hoping I won't wake up,
So don't tell me it's okay,
Because it's ******* not.

You never could see,
The tears that I cried,
You never saw me,
And how much it hurt,

You just assumed,
I was the one hurting you,
Did it ever occur to you,
That maybe it hurt me too,

Maybe I was still in love,
Maybe I just couldn't breathe anymore,
Maybe I'm just really sorry,
That I wasn't good enough,

Why can't you realize,
I'm breaking at the edges,
Why can't you realize,
I am dying,

I'm holding on for you,
Holding on to what little I have,
Because all I have is my blood pumping,
And if that stopped so would you,

I know I killed you,
I know it's my fault,
But I am bleeding to death,
And so are you,

It was always my fault,
Because somehow you loved,
The monster that is me,
And you gave me everything,

Of course being the monster I am,
I killed you and your heart,
I broke you on accident,
I swear I never meant to hurt you,



I am so in love with you,
And I am so sorry,
Because when I'm with you I'm suffocating,
But alone I am drowning.

So where's my fairy tale ending?
Where's my happily ever after?
Where is the meant to be?
Where is my perfect princess moment?
Where is it?

I don't care if the nations know my name,
I don't want textbooks filled with my fame,
I just want to live my life wild and free,
And to feel your heartbeat next to me.

I still love you...

How can I breathe without any lungs,
How can I sing without a voice,
How can I walk with broken legs,
How can I see with blinded eyes,
How can I scream without any sound,
How can I write without any words,
How can I live without any life,
How can I love with these shattered pieces?

Because that's what it's like, loving you.

So I told the truth,
I told my thoughts,
But is the truth best?

So I opened up,
I let you know,
But will it work out?

So I know it's gone,
I know that we can never be,
But was I right?

It's funny how the one person I want to talk to,
Is the one person I can't talk to.

When you want to die,
You remember all the people,
The reasons you can't,
You can't do it because of them,
And in that moment,
You never know,
Whether or not you're happy,
That they're stopping you.

Since when could you see past my disguise?
Since when did you realize my smile was fake?
How did you notice I his behind my laughter?
How could you tell my happiness was my hiding?
What am I supposed to hide behind now?

One way ticket, please,
        Where to?
Far far away, please,
        How will you pay?
I'll give you my blood, my life,
        Ha! And what is that worth?
nothing...
        Fine. Give me your happiness. Your hope.
But... I need those...
        No you don't. Just give them to me.
Maybe I should stay...
       No! You need to leave! Give them to me!!
Okay... But...
       Well now that those are taken care of, you may go.
No. I want them back. I don't want to leave.
        Too late. Leave. You payed, you might as well go.
No. I don't want to leave. I want to stay. I want to live!

Why not let go?
What's the point in going on?
It's not like anyone cares,
And they won't once I'm gone either.

My eye lids start to close,
And I can see you,
In front of me,
All I want is for you,
To hold me close,
To dissapear in you,
I am so tired,
Of being strong,
Of pretending I'm okay,
I want to let go,
Let it all out,
I want you here beside me,
Urging me on,
But you're so far away,
I pushed you out,
I want to sleep at night,
I want to be alone,
I want to be together,
I want to understand,
These conflicting emotions.

I feel like I am trapped,
Inside my head,
As if I'm watching everything,
That happens,
But have absolutely no,
Control over any of it,
The lies just keep coming,
The smiles just keep flashing,
And no sees through it,

Help me please,
I am prisoner in my own body,
I'm trying to signal to you,
Trying to show you how broken 
I am,
I wave to you with my eyes,
But you see nothing,
You don't hear the cry for help 
Hidden within my words,
Please help me escape,
From the prison of myself.

She wipes the tears before you see them,
You assume nothing could be wrong,
How can you not notice that on the otherside of your wall,
One little girl is giving up.