Nothing.
That's all I have to offer.
Why do you want it?

I just want to love you.
While we're both still alive.
And I don't know if that's right.

Just keep talking because it means you're alive,
Don't stop because I need to know you're still here,
Please continue to remind me you're breathing,
I'm scared the moment you stop responding,
You'll be gone...

Musical notes drifting to my brain,
Sedative for my overthinking,
When there's no one left to blame,
Into the music I start sinking,

Voices of song to overpower,
The ones screaming inside,
Tunes continue to play as I cower,
Listening wide-eyed.

People always say things get better,
And they often do,
But that doesn't mean **** to the person listening,
cuz they still gotta make it through.

When the joker comes out to play,
Do we not laugh with the crowds?

And when the clown is on the walkway,
Does joy not fly among the clouds?

It will rain on us on our days too dry,
When the hum of people runs out,

When we hear the sound of the battlecry,
We call our jokesters from his hideout.

Tumble weeds and mistaken deeds,
Questions left unanswered,

From 'goodbye's to 'please don't lie's,
Pain completely transfered.

Sometimes I don't wipe away the tears,
Because I don't want it to be over yet,
While I feel the pain I think maybe I can change it,
But once the numbness settles in, I'm doomed.

Is it really dying if my soul's already dead?
Is it really screaming if it's just inside my head?

And now in the dead of night,
Closing our eyes is useless,
For when our eyelids go down,
The sun shines behind them,
Blinding our minds.

When the sun shines everyday,
And the trees are glorious greens,
When the flowers are blooming,
And the birds sing every morning,

You know a thunderstorm is gonna hit.

Who will hug your brother,
Who will walk the dog,
Who will help your mother,
And talk all night long,

Who will your best friend call,
When she's feeling down,
Who will be there for them,
If you let yoursef drown.

The clouds let loose their rains,
They release the tear drops,
That have become them once again,
But they shall return one day.

Maybe my poems are ******,
I'll probably look back at them and cringe,
But right now I love them,
Because without them, how else would I yell at the world?

Words are like lines,
You can mold them,
You can draw them,
Pictures are formed,
Colors bleed through,
They are mine alone,
No one else has the lines,
Inside my mind,
Only I can twist them,
To carve my pictures,
And so I paint them,
Everywhere I step.

My first thought of the new year was you,
But now I just wish I could forget it.

When you want to die,
You remember all the people,
The reasons you can't,
You can't do it because of them,
And in that moment,
You never know,
Whether or not you're happy,
That they're stopping you.

A raindrop fell to the ground,
It fell and shattered,
Years later a flower bloomed,
Right in the spot,
That the raindrop had fallen,
A long time ago.

Just because you can't see your killer,
Doesn't mean they're not stabbing you,
Through the heart and head.

The scars were her stories,
And you mocked them,

Her head was full of tears,
And they thought it was empty,

The footsteps were hers,
Even if they were dragged,

Her trail kept going on,
It's mark trampled by other feet,

Her mind was filled with worries,
And they just added to the fear.

I guess we just keep breathing,
I guess our hearts keep beating,
Even when we're exploding,
Even if we can't keep on going.

It's funny how the one person I want to talk to,
Is the one person I can't talk to.

I'm hurting,
Oh **** I'm dying,
And it's all my fault,
You said it would be okay,
You said I deserved to be happy,
But now that I've killed you,
Do you still think I do,
Or do you hate me,
The way I do,
Myself?

So I told the truth,
I told my thoughts,
But is the truth best?

So I opened up,
I let you know,
But will it work out?

So I know it's gone,
I know that we can never be,
But was I right?

"She just does it for attention."
"He doesn't have scars on his wrists, he doesn't cut."
"It's all made up in your head"
"But your life is so perfect."
"You are beautiful, you should stop."
"You're not ugly!"
"I don't want to deal with your problems."


"I'm worthless and ugly."
"I feel so numb and need to feel pain."
"I deserve this."
"No one will notice anyway."
"They probably just think I want attention."
"They won't understand."
"I am alone."

I push you away,
But I want you to chase me,

I close my heart,
But I want you to keep asking,

I say no words,
But I want you to understand,

I know,
I'm a *****.

It seems,
As soon as the moment has passed,
So have the feelings,
And an emptiness settles in,
I don't want to feel empty,
I want to continue feeling,
The numbness is the reason I want to die,
Because I can't live knowing I can't feel the love I have for you,
I need to feel,
Because I love you,
So I can't let go,
I have to keep holding on,
And I'm sorry,
But I really wish we had never met,
So that I could jsut **** myself and end it all,
But I know I'd hurt you,
So I can't,
Because I can't hurt you anymore,
So I'll suffer,
But I won't let you know,
Because if you knew how ****** I was,
You'd probably leave,
And I would finally be able to let go,
And maybe part of me doesn't want to yet,
A part of me is glad you're stopping me,
But that part of me is too weak to fight the stronger side,
So please don't leave,
I need you,
I hate my mind.

Do you ever have those times where you don't hate yourself?
For a moment you look in the mirror and smile.
You don't despise the face looking back at you,
And you even wonder why you ever did,
But then you walk away from the mirror.

Five minutes later you come back to the mirror,
You look at the ******* in front of you,
And you even wonder why you ever thought you were pretty,
Why in the world you thought you were okay,
And then you walk away and leave blood on the tiles.

Why?
Why the **** me?
Haven't you seen the scars?
Haven't you heard the hate?
Haven't you felt the pain?
Why the **** me?
Why?

I know I shouldn't,
But why should I not?

I know it's wrong,
But why is it wrong?

I know I'm bleeding,
But why should I stop?

Well maybe I wasn't meant to live,
Maybe I was born to bleed,
Maybe the only reason I breathe,
Is so that I can have my breath stolen.

So she was torn,
Because her love got the best of her,
Her heart was her murderer,
Her head was the accomplice.

I know you'd help me,
If only I would let you,
But my tears are mine alone,
And my scars belong to me,
So don't expect me to give them to you,
So you can have them too,
Because they'll just damage you,
They'll just hurt you,
And then you'll actually see me,
And you won't love me anymore.

I'm losing do much of myself,
This power I have over you scares me,
I'm slowly fading into nothing,
I doubt it'll be long until I dissapear.

We have lost yet,
So why are you giving up?

Of course you're shaking,
Of course you can't breathe,
Because guess what?
Love hurts like hell.

Just because I don't cut,
Doesn't mean I'm not suicidal,

Just because my blodd doesn't run red,
Doesn't mean I wake up breathing,

Just because the skies are clear,
Doesn't mean rain can't be just around the corner.

Is it really so easy,
For you to hate me?

Why do you want me gone,
What have I done wrong?

Why does this hurt like hell,
Is that something you can tell?

Because if I hate you,
And you hate me,
What does it hurt so bad?

I ****** up again...

How can I live in the moment,
When the only reason I am alive,
Are my dreams of anytime,
Other than this moment?

Everyday I must heal you,
I can not live while you hurt,
Healing you is what I must do,
Why else would I continue,
There is no other reason,
For me to keep on living this tedious life,
So I will fix you,
I will try to fix myself,
But maybe someday you will be whole,
You will smile and be okay,
And will you still want me around,
Will you still need me,
And what will I do,
When you don't need me anymore?

Would I just dissapear,
Cease existing,
Living this cruel life,
Would I finally let go,
Or would I find another to fix,
While you live wholly,
Because I could never help,
Someone who lives,
So I will dissapear,
And leave them to lead happy lives,
After all,
They are much better off without me,
Trying to fix the things I broke.

Stop, Just stop,
Please make it all stop.

There's always screaming,
Whether it be in my head or not,
It's always there,
Screaming at me,
Telling me to be better,
Reminding me of how worthless I am,
Yelling at me to be better,
Never stopping,
There's always screaming.

I'm just an idiot in love,
A hopeless romantic,
Seeking and hoping,
But never actually expecting.

No, you don't understand.