I don’t remember checking out
But when I came back that afternoon
Someone else was in my room
And all my luggage was out in the hall.
I knocked and didn’t hear a sound
Until I banged again much harder
Then I heard the rustle of approach
And locks turned as the door was opened.
My fists were clinched, my throat was tight
And I had vicious anger at the ready,
But shock drowned out my burning ire
When I saw who was facing me
She was very old and somewhat fragile.
Not the beauty she’d once been,
But dressed in jammies and a shawl
With fuzzy slippers on her feet.
She didn’t hear the words I said
And seemed to not see me very well.
She smiled a very gentle smile
And asked what she could do for me.
I told her she was in my room
And I had scads of things to do,
With projects to take care of
And chores that needed seeing to.
She stepped aside and let me in
Where I could see things were a mess
The furniture was rearranged
And my stuff stacked up in a corner.
I pushed on in and desperately
Searched for my deadline-diary -
There were things to not mess up
And errors that I must not make.
But nothing seemed where it belonged
And I could not remember where
I put the most important notes
That got me where I had to be.
The elder lady tried to help
But searched for words that would not come
And bumped against important things
That rocked and tumbled with a crash.
Beside myself I spun around
In desperation and despair,
Looking for something to grasp
To tell me I was not insane.
I turned to ask the Granny’s help
But couldn’t find her anywhere.
Like smoke in wind she’d disappeared
Even though the door was locked.
Exasperation then took hold
And I flailed around in circles
Til I caught a movement in the mirror
An stopped to take a better look.
I stood before the glass and gaped.
The dear old girl gaped back at me.
How did she get inside the glass
And where had my own image gone?
What happened to the visage of
The super-girl who juggled knives
And kept plates spinning in the air
While never dropping one.
The knives, I saw, were on the floor
Underneath the sagging couch.
The plates that I had kept aloft
Were neatly stacked beside the kitchen sink.
Astonishment became dismay
As I tried to reconcile
The me who went to work this morning,
Primed for conquering the world,
And the someone I came back to find,
Not certain where I left myself
Or even where to start the search
To see if I existed.
Bereft of thoughts and lost among her words
That float around and won’t be caught
I puzzle how this came about
And I don’t know the answer.
But I can not avoid the fact
That it’s my face in that mirror.
ljm
I wrote this a while back and deemed it too long to post. Oh well, let's see.