**** **** ****
I can't take this anymore
Even when you aren't here you hurt me
You're ghost that won't rest
A demon that can't be beaten


You're a reason I can't trust
Or love the way I used to
You aren't even here yet
you punish me for things I never did.

Yet today you appear
Out from the darkness
Despite my efforts to run and hide
You find me
You destroy me
You just want to see me cry
You want to see me dead!


Fine
If that's what you want
I'll do it

My heart is carving in
My mind is breaking
My very soul is being ripped apart.

I'm spinning in an endless spiral
Of pain and misery
But then you appeared
And held me through the night
Whispered me stories
And sung me lullaby
You fought away the monsters who stole my dreams
Who stole my childhood
Who stole my life

But you vanished into the night
Without a trace
A sound
A word
You left me to fall back into destruction
Into the dark
Into the cold welcoming arms
Of death

I once roamed the night sky with my hopefully baby blue eyes.
Now I stare at a dark, ceiling with hollow empty eyes.

I'd laugh so hard headaches marched in and my eyes watered with love, now tears burn my red cheeks with migraines causing storms.
I once danced so hard my feet ached for days now I can barely move from this dusty creaky chair hid away in this cluttered room.
I could sing for days with a bold smile on my face, my voice is now only filled with empty pain or vicious rage.

My dreams were full of delight and impossible wishes,
Nightmares filled their place with pain and death
I used to be as graceful and calm as a doe
Now I m frantic and fearful like cornered orphaned cub who watched her mother die.

My lungs used to fill with crisp clean air, now poison creeps into the darkest corners
Cool, clear water refreshed my lips now I sip stale beer destroying my liver each time without a care
The world was my play pit but now I am trapped inside these four walls ,which hold echos of who I used to be, they are now slowly closing in on me.

I am paying the world back for all the things I did not do.
I am trapped, there is no tunnel, no white, no door ,no way out.
I have been embraced by the pain, engulfed in madness and submerged by anger.

I once was loved, I once had a family
This house was once a home filled with laughter it now taunts me with the shadows of the past.