i make a mirror
of everyone
while you dream
of the windows
in our old house
raging like rivers
you never wanted
cross anyway.

you rolled your eyes at that,
didn't you?

i lost count of how
many times you said I never
wanted to know you.

my disillusionment,
I spoon it out like sugar.

I stopped using sugar
years ago.

here you go,
darling.
be careful its very very hot.

rolling nickels.
where's the sickel at?
suspense pulled quicker
than dawn when your still drunk
and "if" is guilted out of laughter..

what is it all worth?

dirt.
birds.
that's a contrast for
the whole familia.

im building trust with the jungle
around me.

astound me.

buildings love back.

ive stood on the threshold
of the need for better
for the better part of a
decade.

ive left "thanks" at the door
more times than I could count.

doubt it if you feel ok
about doing so.

do you though?

imagine,
if you will,
a tiger creeping through
the same the tall grass
you and your family
are perusing for food through.

food food.
lose, lose.
I'm used to rejection;
I'm inseparable from wretched
and I hate them for it.

wait,
it's swim or be drowned.
wow.

wow.
I'm smiling still.
im wild child miles away,
thank God.
God dropped the plot.

that liminality though.
I'm casually in the throes
of a lonely never known.
it's baffling;
I'm an Applebee's on fire.

I'm better than all of you.

I hate it as much as you.
only for the fact that my laugh
won't echo.

let go.

yea yea yea.

im where the carrion
carries on,
no use in laughs here.
im fear epitomized
in the form of a lonely
bus stop chill sesh.

im dead.
the best of all of us is
**** that whispers between
war cries.

my war died a while ago.
aisles just grow and grow.
im frozen in the produce section.

weaponize that.
please.
I owe you some recklessness,
I know.