Those words do not encompass my emotions.
I am so much more than just sad,
It's not a bad day,
It's so much more.
What I have been through,
And I how I feel,
Is not properly explained.
Not with "I'm sad."
Not with any words.

He told me he was damaged.
I was too,
So I tried to fix him.
If I could save him, I could save myself,
Or maybe he would save me.
But instead,
He broke me further
Instead of mending the rips in my soul,
He tore it to shreds,
And left his marks on my skin.

Close your eyes
And it'll be over soon.
You won't feel the blows
Or his unwholesome touch.
I miss the one who cared for me,
If I close my eyes,
Maybe I can pretend he's here
And not the one who hurts me.
If I close my eyes,
Maybe endings will be easier.
If I close my eyes,
It will all be over soon.

Two faced.
Smile at me, act like everything is fine.
Turn around and tell them how much you hate me when i'm not there.
nice.
back stabber.
I'm sorry I was never enough for you.
I'm sorry i'm cold.
but you doing this to me has only made everything worse.
When you begged me to stop cutting, I never imagined you'd be the reason that I would tear my skin to shreds.

He called me his lion,
even though I told him
female lions are lionesses.
I opened my eyes
and he held my hand.

but then I swallowed the pills
and he saved me life.
I sobbed, disgusted by myself,
that I was still alive.
He simply held me and let me cry.

He stopped the bleeding
and took care of me.
He dealt with my mess and
loved me anyway.
I just don't understand why.

5 am
get up
stumble around
go for a run
take a shower

8:30
go to class
stay in class
pay attention
be awake

12
eat lunch... or don't
does it matter? No.
Lie a little,
smile

2
more classes
more notes
blank stares
empty mind

6
eat dinner? no.
Can't deal with food.
watch some television
do some work

10
stare at a wall
take a shower
do some work
feel empty

1 am
stay awake
cry for a while
stop the bleeding
don't sleep until 3

4 am
wake from a nightmare
muffle the sobs
sleep for a half hour
repeat