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Paul Dec 2018
Hey, it’s me again.
Hope that I’m wrong
Yet I feel it in my bones
The answers right there
Longed for it to be untrue
You did it, didn’t you?
It all adds up
Now I feel that pain
Unrelenting suffering
No light at the end
A shadow that is blinding
We barely talked that day
Simply chased away our fears
Two kids lost in this world
Now it’s just me
Wandering in despair..
Paul Sep 2018
Once the sun sets,
The darkness consumes me,
Everything good forgot,
Let me lay face down,
In a pool of self-hate,
As my thoughts beg for an answer,
To the question I won’t ask,
I envy the dead,
Spitefully trudging,anxiously
Waiting for my last breath..
Till then I’ll just smile,
The **** fool that I am
Paul Jul 2018
I searched my heart and found nothing
All I hear is a chaotic beat

This void in my chest, now a black hole
Consuming everything within reach

Have you ever been alone in a busy street?
Looking for hope in a strangers gaze

The voices in my head
Roar like burning buildings

My sanity is all but drowned
Hatred burns right through the mirror

Shackled in this new found life
Pondering in the shadow of the past
Choking on sunlight
Paul May 2018
The rip chord pulled mid-flight
Sure do miss the free fall..
Yes the wheels fell off,
Sure did run out of steam,
The tank now reads E,
My compass lost at sea,
Sun-scorched sails no more swell,
No sense of purpose behind me,

Yet I know it’s out there somewhere
Maybe between then and now
That place beyond reality, submerged inside my dreams
Could be buried in the sand,
Trapped amongst the stars
Find me a boat, let me build a rocket
Just let me sleep..
Paul Feb 2018
I’m not the good guy
Just a troubled soul
I’m not the one you call
Just someone you say bye to
No knight in shining armor
Just a frightened boy in a mans world
I’m not your good advice
All I know shouldn’t be thought
I’m not the one to heal your wounds
I’m still bleeding from my own
Just a wanderer, searching for his role
These minute thoughts they race around my mind
Paul Feb 2018
Eyes  feet
One foot then the other
With each passing stone
Hoping the next brings me closer
The distance from my past
Grows larger
The bright light on the horizon
Only keeps my heart open
To take one more step
Inhale, exhale
Pain flows from within
A toxic ooze leaving a trail
Paul Feb 2018
Just one sip, here we go
It’s been a long day, it’s been toiled away
You hid it all day long,

One more sip
Put on that mask, let’s run away
Where you can lose yourself..

Have another swig friend
The pain is just underneath
It wants out, son, better push it back down

Get me another one,
Their faces haunt you,
Memories that scarred you

Ah, just one more
I can see it now, the light fading
The darkness.. it’s right there boy

Finish this one, you won’t remember
Clean the slate, embrace the nothingness
Welcome the silence...
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