The caverns,
so dark
so dreary
such a shame
the view
may have been
mesmerising.
Stalactite sharpened
to a fine point
like a quill
used to write
letters of love
and courtship
every day.
Above the horizon,
the constant drip
of water echoes
against the
brown dusty
walls,
a pool forms
as clear as
wine glass.
The sound
of breathing
mockingly
mimics the
howling wind,
the chilli air
shares
a hug with a
touch
that settles
its frost
into the bones.
The caverns,
with only a peel
of light is
let through,
the pebbles
crumble
underneath
the feet,
the bridges
connect
two darker
places like
a stitch
tied over
a blistering
wound.
This is
the abyss
that abaddon
has abandoned,
and it may
just be the most
peaceful
place.

A line for the bathroom,
a line across the table;
aligned with diamonds
like science in a frame.
Tamed smile yet crazed;
the trace of a trade
that left a taste in mind
for future profit.
The costless ambition;
that’s driven gravestones
into the homes of families
caught in abuse.
Tonight; there’s a line;
one to the bathroom,
another across the table,
and one to the tombs.
The white powder
that overpowers clear
minds,
the white lines
that has victims
forever reading
between the lines;
a fine print
that reads
‘**** this’;
my time ends
with this line.

Hear the world chant for change
as the other half fight the tears
close the chapter of the old
and watch the tales truthfully unfold...

We have found history spinning
and with each spiral of confusion
will we ever survive this?

I loved you, with every fibre of my being. Every muscle, every heartbeat, every breath and every instance. When I was with you, all I knew was to make you smile, make you happy, make you treasure every moment so I kept my heart open for any piece of vindictive criticism you had for me. I wore every part you liked and discarded every part you despised. I tried and tried to make sure I could build myself into your dreams like the way a person would mix and match ice creams fulfilling their every need. I will no longer choose to make you happy, I will no longer choose to make you smile because while that was fun and warm; I am choosing myself. I will not chase the imaginary dragon like a ****** addict chasing another fix by fixing myself for you. I will not choose to make you happy anymore. Do not look to me for love, the love I felt for you has died. Our moments have cascaded like snowflakes melted by the scorching sun. Do not look to me for love, my love for you is like a cadaver floating with the currents in a canal. I will not love you again not the same way that I used to, that I could. I have loved you from every starlit moment to every sunny day. Take it from a guy willing to risk his life to remind you that you are beautiful every moment; I have been deceived by an optical illusion that lays heavy like a contusion in the mind. I knew I was blind but unsure as to how blind, because beauty doesn't come from a pretty exterior but a heart that soaks in all forms of kindness. I gave you every piece of me just so you could rip it apart, piece by piece. I hope you cherish every hurtful moment with ease; you are lucky not to live with the same bitter blue saddened memories I will carry in my life. Do not look to me for love- I no longer know how to love you.

- from he who let you break him apart.

No person should have their earliest memory
be that of their father wasting away.
Don't pity me for my first three years
I had a father
and I knew I was just like anyone else.
For the first three years of my life
I was just like anyone else
and I was happy.

I'm trying to live
but it's been so hard,
I'm trying to give
every bit of my heart,
Maybe I'm wrong
but the day's still young,
I remember the song
that we shouldn't have sung.

City of hearts
Oh how did ours break apart,
city of hearts
how did we lose our love
Oh city of hearts
what are these bruising marks?
City of hearts
I hope you're smiling.

City of hearts,
the way that we would fight,
City of hearts,
Maybe we just need tonight.

The whispers are fading,
the battles we are fighting,
it feels like time is wasted
and now it's a struggle just to breathe.

The faint sounds of a heartbeat,
but the cries seem to get louder;
and the love flowing in our bloodstream,
it feels like it's wasted,
it feels like it's wasted.

You used to hold me in your arms,
but now you just shout your curses,
and the time we spend apart;
just seems to only get longer
just seems to only get longer.

I'm invisible when you don't need me,
I spend my time making myself feel seen,
just hoping that you'd finally see me,
**but I guess I'm fading,
I guess this is fading.

You've made me turn to tales of make believe;
I'm begging you to leave my mind
because in the night I'm thinking of you
and in the day I'm dreaming of you.
So please,
Just leave,
I don't need another fairy tale...
Not right now...
Not right now...

With feathers of love,
You were my one searing sun
And I: Icarus.

My dreams
pass through me
each moment
flicker like a
rolling film,
the teal
seems to
contrast
with the other
colours.

In them I hear
tales of untold
success,
I hear
wedding bells
and a bride
giggling
along with the
sound of a rustling
dress
as it sweeps
the floor.

I see
the sun through
a crack
in the blinds,
I see
a cup of coffee
on a tabletop
that has been
washed and wiped
so many times
that the patterns
start to fade.

I feel
relentlessly motivated
yet
confused as to
which reality
I might want to live.
A world
I captured in
my mind,
where nothing
is patched together
properly,
the smells don't
correspond with the
sounds,
the sights don't
echo the
other senses,
so do I live
in a blinded mind's
fantasised fiction
pieced together
like stitches
in a dress
or in reality
where everything
is as it is
and
I can be certain
of what is
happening.

Every heartache we stray
a little further from finding love.

There's a sinking feeling in my chest,
I'm guessing it's stress but it's present,
I feel forever less than what I've felt before,
maybe the door to what I feel is locked.
There's a sinking feeling in my chest,
bless my little heart for thinking
I'm one rest away from becoming stronger.
So I no longer hold my head down,
I hold it sideways, thinking Friday,
of six months ago was the last day,
that I was happy.

I've lost purposes, senseless hurt-
I bear into my mind,
maybe I'll find what I'm looking for,
when I look beyond the door of my best friend.
Let the candle wax and wane,
as I find fire within the pain-
and enkindle warmth from nothing.

I miss the way she made me smile from cheek to cheek
I miss the sunrise that seem to accompany her words
I miss the moon's glow that felt like a goodnight's kiss
I wish I didn't have to miss any of these things.
I miss the clouds that sway in the sky, dry to the touch;
I miss the nights where I did not lay awake with the stars.

The night is young and the sun is a mere orb
telling nothing of the time but wasted moments.
I long for the days where I would stay up all night
lost in the conversations that seemed to lead no where
Now I stay up all night lost in my thoughts.
I miss the sun's ray beaming tiny droplets of diamonds
across the ocean's water.
I miss the spring and the winter.
I miss them all.

I can't seem to stop smiling from
how hard the weight fell off my shoulders
when I decided you aren't worth my time
and right now in a long while
I just can't seem to stop smiling.
*I am happy

I've drowned my sorrows in a bottle-
for too many nights,
I'd light a matchstick that feel like pain patches
trying to detach myself from feeling anything else.
I've consumed the liquid poison to coat that wound
of feeling so consumed by the world in itself.
I feel like I'm being eaten away by this world at times,
my mind is a vortex that seems to enjoy being doused in toxic objects.

So give me an injection that makes me happy
and I'll give you my health to make it happen.

If I ever let go, it'll be the worst thing I can imagine;
I'm holding on, to the shadows and the smell of you,
because in a single breath: so much could happen,
I'm holding on, to the thoughts and memories of you.