fire
fire
fire

Betrothed to a great and unending sorrow.
Grasping, wide-eyed, at advertisements
luring the wanting soul inside with
decadent promises of quality and joy.
Perfection marches on, lingering in the eyes
of millions, so that they may divulge themselves
of hard earned money for brief spurts of happiness,

and it is indeed true happiness,
even if momentary.
Clicking the blue purchase button,
the anticipation of package tracking.

Another thing.
Another thing to pile up, and throw away.

It's not the thing that's being purchased,
it's the promise of fulfillment.
It's the brief respite
from that great and gray cloud
to which we're all wed.
It's the moment of joy,
that's what's really paid for.

Oh, and have you seen that new cellphone?
I want one.

You should too.

Ain't there always
a back road?

Ain't there always
a long way there?

With you
riding shotgun,
I always wanna take it.

Music, or not,
or just listening
to the exhaust.

Let's take our time,
let's try to
get a little lost.

Yeah, let's take
the long way there.

Try as you might,
one can't capture the light.

More megapixels,
4k OLED monitors,
all the money in the world
can't buy you the sunrise.

Just wake up
a little earlier.

Just wake up
and fill your eyes
with ochre skies
instead of with
upvotes and likes.

The faux phones lie,
truth is only a step outside.
An amalgam of everything
always seems black
and white,
but a meer peer
through the window
will tell you otherwise.

Revel in the greyness,
the gray,
the greatness of
our hombre lives.

Wake up
a little earlier.
Put your phone aside.

Wake up
and fill your eyes
with simple truth lingering
right outside.

Why strive?
I've been handed the world.

There's longing here,
for...
... something.

Something more?

I see my brother
from time to time.

I still see Mom.
She still chastises.
Her voice resides
deep in my mind.

I don't know
what it is
that I'm trying to convey.

I don't know
what else to say.

I'm sorry.

Take your pants off,
and put your heels on.

Now spin for me.

I didn't ever really stop to consider the future,
I was always more of a "hung up on the past"
Kind of guy.
I used to think it was romantic, peering at life
Through rose tinted glasses that were
Fogged up with nostalgia to the point
Where it nearly completely obscured my vision.
I liked having those inward facing eyes,
Anyone who saw me could tell that
I wasn't really seeing them back.
They could tell that I was having
Backwards thoughts,
It was selfish
And I ******* loved it.
But now,
I don't like it so much.

I'd like to look
Into the horizon now,
Not over my shoulder
At a long ago fallen dusk.
I'd like to peek
At a dawning landscape
Beneath the rising sun,
And find a path there.
A path that we could walk down,
Filled with laughter and joy.
A path winding through the
Hills of our lives,
With changing elevations
And varying levels
Of difficulty.
I want to camp out,
And lie under the
Blanket of the starlit sky.
As fate
Weaves a tapestry
Out of the threads
Of our heartstrings.

God let out a sigh in the morning frost,
burying the valley in billows of thick fog
and as I drove, white knuckled, through
his great exasperation with utmost care.
I saw the evil within myself painted so
meticulously in the rear view mirror.
A toothy demon looked back at me as
I smiled, after smearing cold, gray asphalt
with the blood of some crossing rodent.
I was pleased with the double thwump
sound, indicating that I had ran it down
with both the front and the rear wheels.
Killing **** felt good that dank morning,
I relished in the thought, in the blind fury.
I quivered in delight at the idea of burning
gasoline, chuffing choking clouds and fumes
into the air to mix with this blinding fog.
I gnashed my teeth hungrily at the notion
of polluting the beauty that surrounds us all
while bouncing the needle off the rev limiter.
I wanted to watch it all perish, I wanted to
find every last happy person on earth and
drown them in a river of my filthy anguish.
I felt my anger swelling, and I swam into its
rippling currents. I dove into that sea of rage
and drank greedily of it's salted undertow.
My mind was a plane of fire, a flat rift of pain
where everything I've ever loved would never
be allowed to love anyone or anything again.
Jaw clenched so hard I felt a molar crack and
a rivulet of auburn blood trickled down my chin.
I saw my destiny flash before me in a sudden
blaze of pulsing red warning lights popping
through the dewy fog, and before I had time to
even consider an apology to whatever it was
that I called God, the inside of my windshield
became plastered with the contents of my skull
as I crashed full speed into the back of a stopped
school bus.

Finally happy,
yet still a poor soul.