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**** crewnecks,
I'ma just keep cutting my hoods off.

Leave em in a pile
of unwant.

A pile
of "remember when?"

Yeah, I remember.
When I got you,
and how
I didn't want you
around.

My head been free
for a good minute now,
no sense hiding
my sunlit crown.
Bye, Bella.

The amount of pain we feel
is in direct correlation
with how much love we had for you.

How much love you had
for us.

I know you wouldn't want us crying,
but
you've got to understand.

It's been building in us ever since
the first time
you put your paw in our hands.
Ignorance is bliss,
and we live in the information age.
Would you rather
eat a bowl of banana strings,
or drink a glass of hotdog water?
Clandestine times, so it seems.
Little whispers in the back of my mind
waft over to me from across a sea
of rusted and waterlogged memories.

Been here before, a familiar ceiling
floating above my head while lying
perfectly still in my comfortable bed.

Familiar light shining through
familiar Venetian blinds making
familiar slats of illumination as
familiar motes of dust slow dance in
familiar tasting air.

Been here before, actually maybe I
never left. Maybe I hide here when
I don't want to see, or hear, or think.

Or feel.
It's the way things are.

Couldn't let it go.
Anyone else is paltry.
No one is enough.
Tomorrow will be the same.

Stay one more night,
'till dawn at least.
Only once the sun comes I
pray you'll actually leave.
Iterative of
my entire life.

There's barely any
haught to be had.
Instead of wondering,
now I'm dreaming, but
knowing would be ideal.
Instead of merely living,
no, instead of dying,
give me a reason to thrive.

All is gone
by the time I walk
outside.
Usually I can still find
the meaning.

You.
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