I like to think I'm not too cliche.
But my darling do please pursue my dream of an array with beautiful petals.
A dream I've wished upon at night as I lay.
For delicate shades of red, pink, burgundy, artistically arranged as a bouquet.

I feel bad for her because I know she's hurting.
But does she know how much pain she puts on me.
Making me think he doesn't love me.
Maybe I believe it.
That's the pathetic part.
Her pain causing the problems of my future life with Him.
This is not the love of a mother.
Who doesn't approve of her daughter.
Who she is now.
The person that she loves to be.
This is emotional abuse.

Hopeless
Dauntless
Useless

God get us out of this labyrinth.
Set the generations of past free for the future.

For only the hole in my chest is never going to fully recover with this madness.
This is not good madness.
The repetition of the flash on the screen makes my heart panic.
Alas it should be comfort that the soul encounters.

It's in these moments.
When the moon and it's dancers are at their peak.
And the cow is jumping over the moon.
I long for you by my side.
Those sweet sweet lips,
And your innocent eyes smiling at my soul.
I wonder what these moments will be like when it's real.
When were awake with the sky's sparkles.
Will you eat pastrys from down the street with me on the kitchen floor?
Will you nuzzle my head and hold me tight?
I know you will.
Because it's home.

Why can't you just love me.
Your very own creation.
I need you, whether you think so or not.
Just love me.
That's all I want.
Be kind, with your words with it all.
Please come up for air because you're dragging me so far down with you.
I want to make you happy but I don't know what you want from me.
Please come back mom.
I'm right here waiting for you.
Get better.
Just love me.
Do I even have a mom anymore.
My eyes are stained for you.
My chest suffocates for you.
My heart needing you.
Dear God please heal her.
Mentally, Physically.
Take her out of her labyrinth of hopelessness.
I'm begging you Lord.
Yearnings into prayers.
I Love you.
I love you so much.
I'm so far away because I can't bear the pain I brought upon you four yearlings ago.
It's not my fault.
But I need to fix you.
I feel like I need to save you.
Jesus please save her once and for all.
You weren't bonded forever.
Lord please unbound her.
I can't be happy until she is free.
Free from her mind.
God I can't watch it anymore.
She's so hurt.
Dying from the inside out.
Outside in.
I hate that her happiness has any correlation with mine.
I yearn for her love so bad.
The love of a mother.
I don't have it anymore.
These tear stained pages show that.
There is no bond like a mother and daughters.
I love you mommy.
To the Moon and back.

She said its that moment you know.
You've fallen in love for the one thousand third time.
He said it's the moments that cling.
Actions that make the birds buzz.

She loves the gazes of huskies at midnight.
And the talk of Mr. Edward at 11:43 pm.
Time moves backwards when you're infinite.
Especially when he looks over at her when Charlie says "I am here and I am looking at her.
And She is so beautiful".

Visions blurry but her sight is true.
Individual inward struggles but simultaneously fight through tears.
Your arms are my sanctuary.
We're home.

I feel my anxiety getting worse.
I feel things were going to get better one day.
But there just stuck in turmoil.
I don't know how much ******* more I can take.
The blame.
The pain.
The crushing inside my heart.
Why do people blame me for everything?
It's not my fault none of it is.
But they all make it my fault.
It's hard to stay true to myself.
Why'd you hurt me when you knew?
You knew it would hurt and you did it anyway.
Why do people hurt others on purpose?
Especially the ones they love.
Jesus I pray you come back soon.
Save me from this hell on earth.
What if it is my fault.
What if I'd never said anything?
What if no one ever knew and things were still the same?
You were my distraction.
The good thing in my life.
And now it's shot to hell.
I don't know who to turn to.
There's so much pain pouring out of me.
Why do you want to hurt me?
Your daughter.
Your creation.