Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Jules Harper Mar 2021
I can’t sleep
     Had tea in the evening
     Tear starts pouring
And I started counting sheep

Over and over the fence
     One up jumping,
     Another come running
Over and over again

Time passed doing nothing
     Not rest or feast,
     Not work or read
The story ends with dreaming

Deep in my sleep
     Keep on stressing
     Keep on rehearsing
Found no peace at no ease

Why do we need sleeping
     Thoughts in my head,
     Progress I could have made
Instead, I lie practise dying

Why do I need dreaming
     Reality is there
     Stop the stress and I swear
Instead, I lie practise dying
And right before my birthday came these feelings. Cool. Cool cool cool cool.

Another piece half-written in the dark at three in the morning. I’m doing the video for trinity exam. I filmed over and over again that it started to stress me out real bad, and i ended up dreaming about it. And i gotta go back to practicing. ****.

About the form, I read a poem using the similar form in my previous semester and i absolutely loved it. It’s so rhythmic and fun to read. And i just happen to come up with it, so it was pretty impressive. (Although the poem i was talking about was way, wayyyyyyy more beautiful than this. I feel like there is no rhythm in this piece at all /sad/ but i’ll get there one day)

o01o15o2021o
Jules Harper Mar 2021
Is saying “I want a psychiatrist.” not serious enough?
Or is it that you don’t actually care for me as much as you’ve always been saying?

I’m so done and there is so much going on.
Too much, actually.
Too much for me to handle.
And I opened up to you twice.
Is that still not enough?
Or that you don’t think I’m being serious?

I told you that I don’t feel safe enough to talk to you about everything.
I specifically said it.
But still.
Is it still not serious enough for you?

I actually planned on going myself.
I’ve always been planning.
Just waiting for some free period which never existed for some reasons.
I thought you’ve been in this field before.
I thought you could finally help me with something I asked for.
And not just something you forced me to accept whatever help you wanted to give.
So I told you.
I guess it’s still not enough for you to take it seriously.

You know what I think every single night when I couldn’t get myself to do anything productive, not even going to sleep early, and just sitting there letting time flies hoping everything could just gone so I won’t have to be having all these thoughts again?
“I could really use a wish right now.”
Just a wish is enough.
Yeah.
One is enough.
And now I regret not re-posting my writings in chronological order

o12o17o2020o
Jules Harper Mar 2021
I’m stuck in the middle of Nowhere
Can’t stay here
Can’t go elsewhere

I’m stuck in the middle of Nowhere
Can’t level down
Can’t go upstairs

I’m stuck in the middle of Nowhere
Can’t be a snail
Can’t be the hare

I’m stuck in the middle of Nowhere
Can’t move backwards
Can't over-care

I’m stuck in the middle of Nowhere
Can’t trust the Lord
Can’t stop the prayer

I’m stuck in the middle of Nowhere
Can’t stop the yawn
Can’t stop ceiling-stare

I’m stuck in the middle of Nowhere
Can’t have sweet dreams
Can’t stand nightmares

I’m stuck in the middle of Nowhere
Can’t stay silent
Can’t stop being scared

I’m stuck in the middle of Nowhere
Can’t let them go
Can’t pay the fare

I’m stuck in the middle of Nowhere
Can’t stop thinking
Can’t say I dare
I’m stuck in the middle of Nowhere
A day in life of a jack of all trades, so sad to say, and master of none.

o02o09o2021
Jules Harper Mar 2021
I don’t know what I’m feeling,
But no, it don’t feel right
All I can hear is the air con wailing
In this dark, quiet night

I can easily fall asleep,
Three deep breaths and I’m gone
But I don’t want to move my *** to the bed
And stop thinking and just be gone

The street lights shine through my window,
I didn’t want to close the curtains
The patterns on my wall do look nice,
Sadly, it doesn’t make me certain

To see the life outside through the dark shadows that appeared
Somehow gives me both assurance and fear
It was four in the morning and I could not sleep due to some weird feelings going on inside. I guess I was dry high or sth. but to help myself out, I grabbed my note and a pencil and wrote these in the dark. Couldn’t see the paper, I just hoped I can decipher my own handwriting when I’m awake.

o01o15o2021o

— The End —