SEE IT’S NOT AS SIMPLE AS A BROKEN BONE OR A FEVER. IT’S LIKE HAVING AN INOPERABLE TUMOR. THIS STUPID THING IN YOU WILL **** YOU AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. ALL YOU CAN THINK IS “I’M GOING TO DIE” OVER AND OVER AGAIN. JUST, THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THAT **** TUMOR AND A MENTAL ILLNESS IS HOW AT LEAST YOU CAN ******* SEE IT. PEOPLE DON’T ASK FOR PROOF. THEY FEEL BAD AND WHEN YOU DO DIE NO ONE SAYS “WE DIDN’T SEE IT COMING.”

WHEN YOU MEET SOMEONE WHO MAKES YOUR HEART POUND SO HARD IN YOUR CHEST YOU CAN’T FOCUS OR MAKES YOU SO NERVOUS YOU RESORT TO TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER OR HOW EVERY TIME THEY TOUCH YOU, YOU FORGET HOW TO BREATHE; YOU WILL FORGET WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE ALONE. YOU WILL TRY TO BE A BETTER PERSON FOR THEM. YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF COMPLETELY AND PATHETICALLY IN LOVE WITH THEM AND YOU WON’T BE SCARED ANYMORE.

YOU NUMB OUT THE PAIN. YOU REFUSE TO LET IT TAKE OVER. AMPUTATE YOUR INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS AND REPLACE THEM WITH SOMETHING THAT COULD ACTUALLY DO YOU SOME GOOD. TELL YOURSELF THAT ALL OF THIS CAN BE MANAGED. COACH YOURSELF INTO REACHING OUT WHEN YOU START HURTING AGAIN. BECAUSE MAYBE THIS WILL BE THE HARDEST THING YOU EVER DO BUT AT LEAST YOU WON’T BE ALONE.

I have too many feelings for my own good and maybe they don't keep me up at night, but they sure make me tired enough to sleep for months. I guess the difference is that since I can still hold a job and put my shoes on, I don't have a right to be distraught for no reason. Just because you can't see my eternal rain cloud doesn't mean I can't feel it. Seeing is believing, but my smile can be deceiving. Look, I don't expect you to understand or help me up. I just want you to leave me the **** alone.

Love yourself as much as someone else should.
Love yourself as much as you said you would that one time when you were happy and before you felt sad again.
Love yourself as much as you ******* should because you don't have a good enough reason to think you shouldn't.

Just swallow it.
Swallow everything you thought you knew about me
Because I’m as vast and vacant as the ocean
And we’ll both get lost before you understand.
See, you think monsters only exist under beds or in the dark,
But the only monsters I’ve seen are in my brain.
So I guess that’s why I’m more afraid of being alone
Than in the dark.
See, it’s the unknown that scares us the most.
Whether it’s our thoughts or the water beneath us,
It’s all the same.
We don’t know where we’re going
And we’re too scared to go find out.
So, we sit.
We sit and we think too much
And we end up killing ourselves
Before the world around us has the chance to.

WITH YOU ON MY MIND IT’S LIKE I’M SEEING STARS. EVERYTHING IS SO BRIGHT I CAN’T SEE STRAIGHT AND JUST BY HOLDING MY HAND YOU TAKE MY BREATH AWAY. I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW ******* LUCKY I AM THAT IN A WORLD AS BIG AS THIS I FOUND SOMEONE WHO MAKES ME FEEL LIKE FIRE AND NOTHING CAN PUT MY FEELINGS OUT.