Not a place, in anyone's heart.
I'm an introverted man.
So no friendships to start.

My smile is heavy.
I'm a lonely man,
My mood is steady.

I'm a melancholy man.

It's how I was raised.
Less than a man.
My spirit, locked in a daze.

I'm not trying to be a snood,
So don't be offended.
I'm not intentionally rude.

I'm a melancholy man.

My trust isn't easily extended.
Your kindness will be my friend.
There's love & kindness within these mended fences.

A melancholy man, I am.

An incomplete soul.
Searching & Searching.
Can never be whole.

An incomplete soul.
Seemingly, missing  pieces.
It's hard to know.

All required parts
are locked into place.
With emptiness in my heart.

An incomplete soul
Always longing,
Always wanting,
Never consoled.

Smiles are heavy.
Never knowing how
to break through the levy

A dark black hole.
Always melancholy
My incomplete soul.

Love or Jealousy,
Commitment or Freedom,
Happiness or Fun,

All a funny taste?
Bitter Sweet, yet intoxicating.

A brew of witchery.
A blessing of Angles.
Time will always tell.

I had a not so secret crush on a girl two years my senior.
I made a be-line straight to study hall to sit at her table.
When she graduated, I asked if I could write in her year book.
She sweetly but somewhat reluctantly handed it to me.
I wrote her a special love sonnet (of sort) in the very back of her year book.

When I returned her book the next day,
I looked her in the eyes, smiled and wished her the best.
Trying not to choke on my words and not wanting to show a tear.
I quickly and graciously made my exit.

Two years later, she showed up at my graduation.
She appeared from behind me and called me by name.
I turned to see her always beautiful smile and sparkling eyes.
Taller and more beautiful than I remembered.

Her sudden & unexpected appearance stunned me!
My reaction in turn, appeared to have disturbed her!
Her smile faded, then she wished me well and made a swift but graceful exit.
We never saw or spoke again!

I wish my actions had been much more delightful.
I was a nervous young man and lacked confidence in the presents of such beauty.
Still true to this day! I sometimes wonder how and where my high school crush is doing.
Just fine, I imagine.

Love in Real Life is:
Not a fantasy,
Not escapism,
Not Utopian,
Not Unconditional,
Not industructible,
Not Lustful,
Not easily achieved,
Not easily kept,
Not easily understood.
Love is sensitive & elusive.
Cherish love!
Else, it transforms
and becomes something more familiar.