The sorrow that consumes me is not because of a lost love. More like a 'lost me'. I don't know what's happening to me. My happiness seems to disintegrate with every breath I take. I try breathing slower, but nothing seems to work. It's like I live my biggest fear every single day. Is that not the worst thing to feel? I am so frightened that I will be alone for the rest of my life. Look's like I got a head start. I don't want to wander this earth trying to find my niche by myself. If I'm going to be lost, I want someone to be with me. I don't want to be floating around and not be sure if something happens if I will have someone or not. Isn't that frightening? What's worse is that I don't even feel like I have a story. I'm not even the main character in my life. I just happen to be a recurring person in the background. I am so overlooked, and unneeded, and useless. The only thing I can give to the world are my words and my art. That's it.
I am just so tired of feeling this. I hate my emotions. I hate that I have no one to talk to, I just keep it inside and it festers and it boils and it's just slowly destroying me. It's terrifying to be like this and have no one to confide it.
Slowly sliding into my dreadful depression slump. I hate seeing myself get this dark.